Orphan Train
by Emmett-Cullen's-Biggest-Fan
Summary: Running from her past Johannah finds herself forced into a world of freaks. She is to be used as a vampire hamster in some sort of breeding experiment. When introduced to her 'baby daddy' sparks fly and death is no longer an option. Cullens Later15yPostBD
1. Prologue

_Love finds us at the most screwed up moments in our life, imagine being abducted, bred like an animal, only to find love in the arms of your captor. Then you are irrevocably changed and given the chance to bring happiness to a certain vampire family... _

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

This is the updated Version! Thanks to my BETA...lizziestar! You Rock!

Thank you to my sister...ieatyourmuffins! You Rock sister!

Enjoy!

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Prologue

_Love finds us at the most screwed up moments in our lives; imagine being abducted and bred like an animal, only to find love in the arms of your captor. Then are irrevocably changed and given the chance to bring happiness to a certain vampire family... _

It only takes seconds for your life to change. I heard a saying once, "Life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away." Precious isn't it? Sure it is, but I have to disagree with that amazingly fantastical statement. First, while that sounds beautiful and it makes you want to go plant flowers and pet puppies and all, I hate to mention that in fact our lives are measured by the breaths we take. When you stop breathing you fucking die; I know that sounds harsh but it is true. So, Mr. Know-it-all genius who has probably never been laid, life is measured in the breaths we take, you fat bastard.

Second, there is something that the fat bastard failed to mention in his blithe statement; it's only the good things in life that take your breath away. All those shitty things that happen suck the breath right out of you like a giant ass eating black hole. Kind of like the giant black hole in that Star Trek movie those bumpy faced alien freaks go through and then change the course of history. Except in this life the black holes that we get sucked into have no exit. You don't magically go back in time and have a second chance at life. You are stuck in the fucking present gasping for breath and clawing in every possible direction only to realize that you are never going to get out. You are too far gone and you might as well give up. How do I know this you ask? Well recently my life has been chalked full of those precious oxygen sucking moments.

I remember reading the Crucible in like the tenth grade and something I read then stands out to me now. During the Salem Witch Trials, Giles Corey, one of the condemned men, was pressed to death. Pressed to death, what is that? Well it's where the accused individual lays on the ground and the executioner places rock upon rock upon rock on said sentenced person until their chest is crushed and they die of asphyxiation. Sounds fun, right? While I have no personal physical proof that this is an enjoyable experience, but I can tell you from metaphorical experience that it is not. The last year of my life has made me feel like that poor son of a bitch lying there watching my life literally squeezed from me. The part that burns my ass is that it didn't happen slowly. You would think that the Universe would lay all the bad shit on you slowly; nope, my shit hit me with the literal force of an eighteen wheeler. Every little thing that happened after the big shit was just another fucking rock on my chest taking some more of the air from my crushed chest.

When did you become so cynical, you ask? Well nosey bitch, I became a person who curses when my dog got ran over by the fucking Oats Bus. I mean that bus was full of 100 year old fart bags and the bastard driving didn't even stop. He just slowed down and waved out his window. I resisted the call to use my concealed weapon and go Freddy on their wrinkly asses; but just barely. Instead I fell to the ground and cried over my eight year old Chihuahua and tried to figure out how I was going to tell my husband and daughters that their dog was dead. That was stone number one.

Now I know you are wondering why a wife and mother would talk this way. Well that would be stones two, three, and four heaped upon me when I was already gasping for breath from the weight of stone one. With the addition of those painful rocks, I became a cynical bitch who cursed a lot.

I was at Wal-Mart the day it happened. You know that big store with the friendly old people who stand at the door and welcome you into their overpriced retail wonderland? You know the place right? I mean come on who doesn't? Everybody loves Wal-Mart, right? Well, if you could see me now you would see a crazed woman jumping up and down with both hands in the air screaming, ME, ME, ME, I hate that blue and white, union hating, over rated fucking place! Why? Well not because I have anything against retail, because really I don't. I love a good deal just like the next person. I just hate that store because it reminds me that I should have been with them and if it wasn't for the fact that I was on my damn period and had to run down to the store, I would have been at home with my babies and the love of my life when it happened. Because of that store I was saved when the fucking drunk ass truck driver drove his eighteen wheeled fully loaded death machine into the living room of my house and took away my reason for living. Feeling sorry for me yet? No? Well get a fucking head exam cause my life is a shit hole!

That moment was rock bottom for me. I had nothing left to lose. The Universe had just given me a giant kick in the balls. And it only got worse when I had to bury my best friend and lover, my rock and the only man I was ever going to love. Not to mention a second nut shot when I had to lay my two beautiful little girls to rest next to him in the ground.

I remember sitting through the service and staring at the wall. It was a closed casket funeral for all three of them. I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to my husband, or hold my babies because that drunk fuck destroyed their bodies. I just sat there staring at the wooden boxes that held my whole world. Apparently people were coming up to me and saying their condolences but all I could do was sit there and stare. I don't even remember taking a fucking shower or getting dressed that morning. I think one of my sisters had something to do with that. I have no memory of the ride to the cemetery, or the service at the graveside. I just remember kneeling down before three fresh graves and screaming at the top of my lungs while pounding the earth. Someone, don't ask me who, had decided that it would be best to bury them all in one day so that it would be easier on me. Who were they fucking kidding? Easier on me! Yeah right there is nothing easy about saying goodbye to your life; nothing at all.

I spent 6 months holed up in my house. My dad had someone come and patch the wall where the fuck face crashed into my piece of heaven and killed my hopes and dreams. I literally surrounded myself with pictures and their clothes and didn't leave. I made a fort of clothing, blankets and toys and lived wrapped in a cocoon of their stuff. My family brought me food and forced me to eat and bathe but I didn't want to do anything but lie on the floor of my daughters' room and scream and cry into their teddy bears; to hold their clothes and drink in their scents. I refused to wear my own clothing and I wore my husband's things around. Pathetic I know, but I was a shattered shell of the woman that I once was.

One day I was lying on my bed looking through old photo albums when I realized that I couldn't go on like this any longer. Now before you get your granny panties in a knot, suicide is never an answer. I have always believed that, still do. But that didn't mean I had to be careful either. What were you going to do, you ask? Well, I decided that since I was not going to kill myself, why not be a little reckless; you know live a little on the dangerous side.

I ran around my house like a mad women stuffing shit into my suitcases. I packed some photos of my family, each of the girls' teddy bears and my husband's old John Deere hat. I wrote a note for my family telling them I was off to see the world and to pack up my stuff and put it into storage and to sell the house if they wanted. I told them not to worry, that I would check in every once in a while and that I needed to do this for me. With all that accomplished I got on a plane and headed for Europe.

I know I am nuts to leave everything like that, but when you have nothing, you leave nothing. I traveled Europe for 4 wonderful months, seeing everything and doing anybody. I had my first one night stand in Paris with this beautiful motorcycle driver with the brownest eyes you can imagine. They were like molten dark chocolate. The night with the cycle god was a one of the most reckless things I had done. You see, my husband had been the only man I had ever been with. Before he died sex was something I thought should be done only with someone you loved. And I loved him with every fiber of my being and my soul, I still do. But a girl has needs and since I wasn't planning on loving ever again, why not have hot sex with a man who had more ab muscles than I had toes on my feet! So I did. And it was amazing!

Sex was just sex to me from that point on. I know sleeping with complete strangers is dangerous, but remember, moron, I wanted to die. I mean, going home with Jack the Ripper would have been a perk to the whole sleep with anyone thing. I know that sounds morbid but you don't understand just how torn apart inside I was. Plus, it was sexually freeing to have no inhibitions. And it was wonderful to be in foreign countries where I didn't speak a word of the local language. I mean, there was none of that awkwardness that comes with trying to get laid, and none of the head pounding little about me, little about you crap. Just two people finding a release for their sexual frustrations. I quickly figured out the international sign for sex, boobies! Just flash them a tit and soon you will be running like a New York Marathon runner to their place or a hotel room. I know I sound like a two-bit gutter slut, but I didn't care what people thought.

I had too many one night stands to count and I made it a point to be the one leaving in the middle of the night. I would never sleep in the same bed with a man ever again and I never had a do over. No matter how good the guy was, once was all he was getting out of me. No sir-ee Bob, this redneck Missouri girl wasn't going to be sucked into love again. Falling in love lead to pain, and I just wasn't going to be hurt like that again. I don't think I would have survived that kind of pain again.

Sexual promiscuity wasn't the only crazy thing that I did. I went skydiving and parasailing. I even swam with the sharks! I drove the autobahn, ran with the bulls, climbed the Swiss Alps, and wine tasted in Rome. I even got trashed on Absinthe. I was doing everything in my power to test the forces that be. To push everything to the limit, I paid no attention to speed limit signs; in fact I drove like a maniac and loved every minute of it! I still haven't figured out how I could push that Porsche to 140 and not have been in a wreck. And I know what you are thinking, "YOU BITCH you got to drive a Porsche?" Hell yes I did! And it was sex on wheels! The power behind that car is still enough to make me whimper when I think about it.

I wanted to die and it was testing my patience at how long it was taking. It was simple enough for my family, they were just sitting in the living room watching Spongebob, waiting for dinner to be done and for me to come back from Wally World, so I thought how hard can this be? Wrong! I did and tried everything that even remotely smelled of danger and nothing. Not even a fucking scratch! Except maybe the scratches that German baker left on my thighs, but I was totally into that. He was like a yummy Bavarian pastry. I know you're screaming, "Get your head out of the gutter you whore," but you had to be there, he was amazing. Anyway back on task, what the hell does a girl have to do to get knifed in an ally while some creep stole my fanny pack! Geesh give me a break!

Even though I was in my own bubble I wasn't totally disconnected with the world around me. I checked in with my sisters once a week so that they knew I was still alive and didn't send out an APB for me. I made sure to take tons of pictures and send them back the SD cards. I was enjoying Europe. No scratch that; I was having a fan-fucking-tastic time!

Everything was going great until I ended up in a small hillside village in Italy called Volterra. I had gone horse racing earlier that day and let me tell you, riding on the back of a stallion, (sigh, I had a couple of Italian Stallions while I was in Italy *wink-wink*) was a great experience. That horse was fast and the guide I was assigned to wasn't bad himself; if you know what I mean. I was still kind of on an adrenaline high from the ride (both horse and guide) when I decided to check out the local shops and cafes.

I was enjoying some kind of vampire festival they were having and fascinated by the local culture. Only in this secluded Italian hill city would it be ok to wear bright red cloaks around with plastic vampire teeth. Freaks! I had a good time people watching and was heading back to my hotel room to get some sleep before I headed back to Rome the next day, when I felt hands around my neck and the sensation of falling sideways.

It took me a second to realize that I was being kidnapped. Well as kidnapped as a twenty five year old woman can be. I guess abducted is more the word I am looking for. I know, "who fucking cares about the dumb-ass word that correctly describes what is happening to you right now, you are being taken against your will you moron?" Sorry that's how my brain works!

During my internal monologue I registered that the hands around my neck were cold. And I mean not just blow in your hands warm them up a bit cold, but I just sat with my hands in a fucking bucket of ice for like 12 hours cold. I was pondering why my attacker's hands were cold when I looked up into his eyes.

In that split second when I registered cold hands around my neck I knew something bad was happening, but with my luck lately I was probably going to be taken advantage of, beaten then left totally and completely alive. "Great just great, I hate my life!" I was about to argue with my attacker and beg him to kill me when he was finished when I looked up, and the instant I looked into those blood red eyes I knew I didn't have to beg. I was going to die.

And, fuck me, I smiled.

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Thank you all! This is not my first fanfiction, but it is the first one that I am going to be posting on here! Please click the little Review button on the bottom of the page and help a sister out!

I can't promise certain days that I will update with new chapters but I promise to give you only my best work and that I will post when I am totally and 110% satisfied with my work!

Love ya babies!

Keep on Keepin on!


	2. Darth Frodo

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister!

Once again Thanks to my BETA...lizziestar! You rock!

Enjoy!

_

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_And, fuck me, I smiled._

Yep you heard it right. I was grinning at the son of a bitch like the freakin Cheshire cat. During my stupor, he took his hand and slid it up my neck to the back of my head; there by tilting my head to the side. Then, if that wasn't enough to freak me out, he took his other hand and caressed my neck. The freak was lightly running his fingertips over the skin of my neck. He closed his eyes and I heard him inhale deeply and very slowly. When he opened his eyes again there was a fire in them and I was certain now of my impending death. 'Bring it on you sick fuck!' And damn it if I didn't smile bigger.

At first he seemed unaffected by my cheeky grin and tilted his head down to go for the jugular; but when he registered my facial expression he stopped and lifted an eyebrow at me. 'Great, my dumb-ass just slowed the death process because I can't keep my morbid happiness to my damn self. SHIT!' I tried to wipe the smile off my face but nothing was working, damn it!

And when I say he was about to go for the jugular, I mean he was literally leaning his face towards my neck. Weird! Maybe he wanted to woo me before he slit my throat, who knows what the sick bastard was going to do. Once again, it was just my luck that I would have to suffer a slow painful death. But at this point I really didn't care, my wish was coming true. Pearly gates here I come!

Don't ask me why in the hell I was still grinning at my attacker. But there I was looking at him like I was four and someone had just introduced me to Santa Clause. Maybe my death wish ran so deep that I had no self-preservation left. Maybe I found the whole situation funny and I couldn't help but crack a smile. Who knows, but there I was standing in a deserted ally in a small hillside town in Italy; yes I am aware that my predicament is totally cliché. But it is the truth and I was currently being held by the back of my head by a sadistic looking man wearing a jet black cloak.

When I registered the cloak, my spastic mind switched lanes.

Who the fuck where's cloaks anymore? I mean Frodo whore one but he was a fucking Hobbit and it was cute; in a schizophrenic I talk to a fucking ring sort of way. This guy was most defiantly not going for cute. And whether he was a schizoid or not was left to be determined. But the way he looked at me made me think; yeah this one probably talks to a giant Furby, regularly. He was defiantly going for the brooding creepy axe murder side of cloaks, and let me tell you he was defiantly pulling that look off. This guy was even wearing the fucking hood of the cloak over his head. Defiantly one for the drama; well slow and painful it is!

He was average height for a man; I guess about six feet or so. I stand a whopping five foot three so he was pretty tall to me. But then again everyone is. I couldn't tell what his body looked like because of his damn Darth Vader cloak, but the parts of his arms that were out of the cloak were toned. I looked up and saw his pale face, his eyes, and some curly messy brownish looking hair; but it was dark and I really couldn't tell colors.

I know I said that he had red eyes; and he does. But I want to clarify that his eyes weren't blood shot red. They were actually red. The iris of his eyes was bright Superman red. He must be wearing some kind of colored contacts to make come across as creepier than he already was; stupid cape wearing, red contact wearing, serial killing freak.

From what I could see of his face he was defiantly beautiful. I know what you are thinking, men aren't beautiful. But I have to respectfully tell you to shut the fuck up; this is my story and if I say he is beautiful than damn it he was pretty! There are some men that are handsome and others that are fucking hot and then still there are those that no other word could describe them accept, beautiful. And the Darth wannabe was defiantly in the pretty category.

Just the idea of being killed by someone pretty made me smile bigger and let out a small sigh. Well, if I was going to meet my maker, then why not at the hands of a beautiful killer? With my luck lately, if I had to die at the hands of a serial killer, he should look like my Uncle Bubba with more gums in his mouth than teeth, and greasy hair and skin. But this man was a prime example of what the male gender of our species should be. At least what I could see of his face.

But I digress; the red eyed man whose hands were freakishly cold was staring at me like I had a giant dick growing out of my forehead. I guess he had never abducted a woman who was happy about it. Well howdy stranger, my name is Johannah Davis and I would like you to hurry up this whole killing thing, I have places to be! Like begging St. Peter to let me through the Pearly Gates!

"Are you going to get this over with?" I asked the Phantom of the Opera wannabe, tilting my head back upright.

Before you stroke; yes I initiated conversation with the creep. I am not a patient person by nature and I was tired and my neck was fucking cold. It was time for him to shit or get off the pot!

"Excuse me?" he said with a smirk.

"You heard me! Are you going to kill me or not? If you are, I would greatly appreciate it if you could speed it up a little; if not, let me go I'm tired and could use a bath."

He released my neck, dropped his hands to his side and his smirk grew into a shit eating grin. His ruby eyes seemed to sparkle and he looked intrigued by me. Great, just fucking GREAT! Leave it to me to intrigue a serial killer. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any more fucked up, I go and open my damn mouth. Now he was probably going to keep me alive and force me to be his psycho wife or something.

"So I take it you decided against death huh?" I tried not to sound disappointed but I don't think it worked because beautiful cloak man started chuckling. Great, I should take up standup comedy for convicts. I think I would be a hit in maximum security isolation. Bring it on freaks!

"I think my Master will be interested in you."

I felt my mouth drop open and my eyes bug out. Master? What was he going to do with me? My worst fear through this whole situation had been that he was going to take his time killing me. Now I had to worry about another man. What the hell?

My mind kicked into overdrive and suddenly an old episode of Bones replayed through my mind. You know the one with Gormagon; the guy that kills, cooks and fucking eats his victims. I remembered that he had an apprentice who did all of his killing and he just reaped the five star human buffet rewards. Was this guy an apprentice who was searching for his master's next meal? Did I look appetizing? I know that I had been all for the death thing a few seconds ago, but becoming someone's main course smothered in gravy wasn't what I imagined.

My mouth suddenly went dry and I felt the urge to run for the first time since cloak boy grabbed me from the street.

As if he could sense the sudden change in my heart rate and the surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins, he grabbed my shoulders and shook his head at me.

"No, no my sweet, you are coming with me. My master will have a use for you I am sure."

I swallowed and felt the sting of my dry mouth. A lump grew in my throat and I just nodded my head. The cloak man smirked again brought his hand up and the bastard smacked me. I felt his hand tap my temple and everything went black.

When I came to I could feel I was lying on a cold stone floor and my nose was assaulted with the smell of musty dirt and stone. It smelled like a basement, but I remember smelling that certain combination when I toured some castles in Europe. 'Where was I; castle or basement? This is Europe so probably, castle.'

I was processing the fact that the creepy cloak boy must have taken me to a castle somewhere when I realized my head felt like a Mack truck hit me between the eyes. And the massive headache that I was now sporting would have made a one night stand with a bottle of tequila jealous.

I tried to open my eyes but I my eyelids were strongly opposed to that idea. I could tell the room was well lit because just the light through my eyelids was enough to make my head pound even harder. Defiantly not a basement! It would be darker than this in a basement; right? I tried squeezing my eyes tighter to fight off the light, but that only served to make my face muscles hurt. Shit, give a girl a break!

To make matters worse I was soaking wet. I don't know what in the hell I was covered with but I was praying that it was sweat and I wasn't covered in a puddle of my own piss. Could this get any worse? I would have sniffed to figure out what type of liquid I was sporting, but that required moving and breathing neither of which I had control over at this moment. So I guess that was one mystery that I would figure out later.

I know that this is going to sound stupid, but I felt kind of like Han Solo after he had been frozen in carbonite. I know geeky reference, but that is all I can come up with at the moment. I was shaking, and gasping for breath, all while trying to get my bearings. The only difference between me and Han was I had no faithful Wookie sidekick. Damn my luck; his hairy ass would have made this whole shit storm way cooler!

I realized vision wasn't going to happen at the moment, so I gave up trying to pry my eyes open and settled for trying to right myself. I would work out sight later, but now I had to pick myself up off this cold fucking ground. I was wet and getting colder by the second.

I groaned and pushed myself up. It felt like I was pushing the weight of a Japanese sumo wrestler off the ground instead of my one hundred and twenty pound frame. My arms were shaking under the strain of trying to heave myself off the ground when I realized that my abductor had to drug me or something when I was out. A simple tap on the head wouldn't cause this kind of malaise. What did Frodo give me?

I felt like I had gone ten rounds with that bottle of Absinthe that I drank in Spain, with a big ass roofie chaser. I felt like hell, and I know I looked it too.

When I finally got on my ass, which took forever, I put my head between my legs and took some time to settle my breathing down. I would never have realized that I had company if a deep melodic voice hadn't spoken up.

"Are you ok Miss?" he asked.

Who the hell is this guy? He was not creepy cloak dude; his voice was deeper and concerned. Maybe this was his Master; no he couldn't be. The Master wanted to eat me and why would a freak cannibal be worried about me? Who knows, but maybe he could answer some questions for me. I had passed confusion about ten minutes ago; I was currently in 'what the fuck' mode.

"Do I look ok?" I spat out. In my anger I used too much energy and my stomach dropped into my ass. Bad idea Johannah being a smart ass takes too much precious energy. Tone it down a notch.

I guess I should have gotten straight to the point, but the inner smart ass came out before I could straight jacket her down.

"No, you look like hammered shit," he chuckled.

"Well aren't you a charmer?" My head began pounding again and I felt like I had just got off of the Tilt-a-whirl. "What the fuck did you give me?" I moaned hoping not to blow chucks in front of this guy.

"We didn't _give_ you anything." He said with a tiny hint of apprehension.

"Bullshit, this isn't just from cloak boy slapping me upside the head!" I still couldn't open my eyes but I managed to pull my head up from between my knees to sit upright on my shoulders. Bad idea, the room started spinning faster and my head was pounding even harder! I rushed to put my head back between my legs. Damn, I feel like shit!

There was a short pause and I thought I was going to get an answer but all I got was a low menacing growl and a slamming door. Great, I had a chance to get some answers and, well being fucked up little old me, I pissed off the only man who could help me.

I don't know how long I sat there on the floor with my eyes closed. It seemed like forever. There were no noises in the room I was in. Just the creaks and groans that I assumed go with being in a castle of some kind. I just sat there head between my legs trying to force myself to get better. I only know I probably looked like I was meditating or praying but in fact I was deep breathing and trying to get a hold of my body.

Before long I could breathe normally and I had stopped that god awful shaking. Once I had control over my body; I took a sniff of my clothes and concluded that I was indeed covered in sweat and not piss. Thank God for small mercies. My jeans were stiff from the dried sweat, and my flannel button down shirt was still a little damp, and sure that was uncomfortable. But I was convinced I was going to have some sort of trench foot from my soaking feet inside of my riding boots. I have got to get those things off!

When my head stopped pounding and I was finally able to open my eyes. Much to my chagrin this new sense did nothing to help me figure out where I was. If anything it only served to confuse me further.

I looked around and realized that I was sitting in the middle of a stone chamber. In front of me there was empty space all around, except for some ancient looking iron crosses flanking a huge wooden double door. This door was not just a Lowes special; it was one of _those_ doors, you know, that could have taken a hit by a bazooka and said, 'is that all you got.' I looked up wondering what was above me. I mean, this seemed like the sort of place that would have something impressive to look up at. By the looks of the stone on the walls and floor, I was totally expecting to see Michelangelo's masterpiece from the Sistine chapel gracing the ceiling. Instead, I was left disappointed when all I saw were stone arches and bare ceilings.

Well that's disappointing. Look at me I have been abducted, drugged and left alone in a castle and I am disappointed that there is no art work to 'oh' and 'ah' over. Don't act shocked! We have already established that I am a complete and total psycho.

Back to the task at hand; I was still confused as to where I was. Where in the fuck did Darth Frodo bring me?

I stood up and almost fell over. I spread out my arms to balance myself, bent my knees to help keep myself from falling over. I know I looked like stealth ninja; bent and ready to attack. I had to giggle at that thought; I probably looked more like a drunken ass whore. My curly strawberry blonde hair was frizzy in places and stuck to my head in other, and the little make-up that I did wear was probably smeared and I knew I had to have raccoon eyes. Oh well, I was going die anyways.

My head was spinning and my legs had that, I drank too much feeling. I smiled to myself and cracked my neck. Bring it on; I can handle drunk legs. When my head stopped spinning, I bounced my knees a little. I know I probably looked like a freak standing there in the middle of this giant ass room with my knees bent and my arms out wide. But I was trying to regain control over my body and there was no one here so stop laughing!

I started to slowly spin around, still totally in my ninja position. I needed to see the rest of the room. Why you ask? Let's call it morbid curiosity; I wanted to see the place where I was going to die.

As I turned I saw nothing different, stone walls, stone ceiling, and stone floor. Well that was anti-climatic. But as I kept turning I saw the beginnings of a platform. Interesting, what do we have here? What I saw made me blush and stand up straight.

There were three high back chairs that resembled thrones on the platform. And sitting in them were three men. The man in the center had jet black hair and his hands folded under his chin. He was grinning at me like I was the most entertaining thing he had ever seen; weird.

The man sitting in the far left throne had black hair as well but he wasn't even looking at me; he was staring off at something behind me looking utterly board with this whole situation. I guess having a sweat covered drugged girl in your throne room was normal and boring; once again weird.

And the man in the far right throne had white hair but he was staring at me like he wanted to rip my head from my shoulders; even weirder.

And to make things even weirder, standing behind them were three other men. They were standing tallest on the left, and he was huge. Like at least seven feet tall, and sporting more muscles then the Rock. There was something in the giant's eyes that I couldn't place; he looked pissed, concerned, curious, and hungry all at the same time. What he was hungry for I hadn't the faintest idea, but something in me wanted to find out. Weird!

I recognized the guy in the middle as my attacker; Darth Frodo. The creep had the balls to smirk at me, so I did what came natural to me, I flipped him off. What, I have an inner smart ass; remember? The collective group of men, minus bored guy, chuckled at me. Well, I guess I got that job as a standup comedian!

The smallest of the standing men only came up to Darth Frodo's shoulders and he looked like a fucking kid. What the hell was a kid doing involved in this? I mean this poor kid couldn't be more than fourteen or fifteen! Way to suck a kid, whose balls probably just dropped last week, into your sick fucked up game; freaks!

The only thing that they all had in common was red eyes and they were all wearing, you'll never guess, fucking cloaks. Great, just great, I have been officially dropped into Middle Earth with a bunch of role playing crazy fucks!

Time to figure out just what they wanted with me, and so I went balls out.

"So, nice day?" I said shrugging my shoulders and clapping my hands in front of me.

This brought on a round of laughs from the collective group, minus bored guy; of course.

"Demetri, you were correct in bringing her here. She will do perfectly for our little experiment!" The creepy man in the center exclaimed rising from his throne.

Well, Darth Frodo has a name! And what the hell did he say about an experiment? I groaned internally, I really don't like the sound of that.

I could feel my heart start to race and my palms start to sweat. I just knew they were going to Bar-B-Q me, I just knew it! The acknowledgement of an experiment confirmed it. Soon I would be dangling from a spit like a pig at a hog roast. Well, I hope my skinny ass tastes good!

"Experiment? Just what are you going to do with me?"

"Well my dear, we have a special undertaking for you," said happy middle guy.

"Well thank you, I am fucking honored. I would bow and kiss your feet but that seems like over kill seeing as you abducted and drugged me. Could you please tell me who you are and what the hell this little experiment is so we can get on with it? I am tired." Cynical bitch strikes again!

"Splendid!" middle guy cheered clapping his hands like he was the host of Queer Eye for the Straight guy.

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. This was like talking to a Muppet!

He didn't seem to get my teenage deep breath move so I started waving my hands for him to get on with it. This only seemed to crack him up some more; so I crossed my arms over my chest and started tapping my foot.

I looked behind happy middle guy to see that Muscles was grinning at me. My stomach clenched; damn he was fucking hot. His eyes were doing that smoldering look deep into your soul thing. And then he winked at me. That grin made my knees go weak. And you would think that I would be freaked; he was practically one of my kidnappers. But it just excited me and I winked back. His grin got even bigger and I couldn't help but smirk back at him.

Our interaction didn't go unnoticed. Middle guy looked between the two of us, and Muscles smile wiped off his face and looked down at his feet. Apparently middle guy was the leader of some sorts. But why the hell is Muscles scared of him? He could have wiped the floor with Middle guy! This place was getting weirder and weirder.

"Oh my dear I think I have the answer I was looking for."

"Good for you, now fucking answers, please!" I said clapping my hands impatiently.

"You are an impatient human aren't you?"

"Yeah patience is not a strong point of mine," I barked back at him. Then his words hit me, "Did you call me a human?"

"Yes my dear, for that is what you are!"

"Thank you Captain Obvious! Who are you?" I had a feeling I wasn't going to like that answer.

I know that I am a totally geek when it comes to all things fantasy. I once dressed up as Hermione Granger and waited in line for six hours for the premiere of a Harry Potter movie. I owned original copies of Star Wars episodes four, five, and six. And one of my most prized possessions is a copy of the Fellowship of the Ring book signed by Peter Jackson, for cripes sake.

But I always believed that that crap was fantasy and not real. Looking at the six men in front of me, I was starting to doubt that the stuff in books really was just fantasy. Maybe they were like werewolves or something, and they needed me to see if they could make a female werewolf. Who the fuck knows anymore!

"My dear my name is Aro, and these are my brothers. This is Caius," he swooped an arm at the white haired pissed off guy, "and this is Marcus." He fanned his other hand towards bored guy.

"Well it is nice to meet you! I am sure that you are one big happy family! I would really enjoy it, however, if you would get to the point, _Mister_ Aro." I could feel the anger starting to boil up inside me.

"We are a very powerful coven of vampires."

WHAT THE FUCK? Did he just say vampires? He was either joking, to get me to entertain them more with my smart ass remarks, or he was serious. I couldn't tell, and I couldn't tell anything by looking into his eyes.

I have been told that I have a gift for reading people. My mother used to say that I took the weight of the world onto my shoulders, but I was just a sympathetic person. I can normally tell what people are feeling just by looking into their eyes. But he just looked at me with those freaky red eyes and all I could get from him was the excitement of a kid in a candy store. Ok well that makes since, NOT!

"What?" I choked out over my shock.

"I know it is hard for you to believe my sweet. But indeed we are vampires. We have been living in this castle for millennia." He still had that excitement in his eyes but there was also a truth in them.

'Ah hell Hannie, you certainly have a gift for fucking up your life,' I was screaming internally.

"So you want me to believe that you are all vampires?" I needed to hear it again.

My earlier errant thought that Demetri was going to bring me back to his Master so he could serve me up with greens and a roll was suddenly not so far of track. Wow, the odd workings of my mind hit one out of the park!

"Are you sure this human will be right for our experiment brother? She seems daft," I turned and flipped off the pissed of brother. I think his name was Caius, but who gives a fuck! He growled back at me and I suddenly regretted my smart ass. He was scary. This sent another round of chuckles through the group.

I might be scared but why not play it up. They were going to eat me anyway, so I looked up at Muscles and gave him a wink and a dramatic curtsy for effect. Maybe I could get him to be the one to kill me? He was yummy! He winked back and that grin that made my knees weak reappeared.

What the fuck is wrong with me I was flirting with a vampire! Get a hold of yourself Hannie!

"She is perfect, brother!"

Well at least someone can see my worth. Too bad it had to be a creepy old vampire prince or something.

Anyway back to the task at hand!

"So if you are a vampire, why was I not lunch?"

"Well my dear, Demetri was going to feed from you, but you intrigued him. Not many of our," he paused to search for the right word.

"Entrees?" I suggested for him.

"Yes!" He beamed. "Not many of our entrees smile at us right before we kill them. You are certainly an oddity. Anyway, being faithful to me; Demetri knew that you might serve a greater purpose than, well, quenching his thirst."

Demetri smiled and winked at me. His wink and grin didn't have the same effect as Muscles. I wanted to vomit when he smiled at me like that; Yucky! I had the sudden desire to flip Darth Frodo off, but I placed my hands behind my back and resisted the urge. No need to piss off a group of bloodsuckers!

Creepy-pissed-off-Caius looked like he was willing to do away with his brother's experiment, and I didn't need to add fuel to the fire. Caius didn't seem like the type to take it easy with me while he killed me. Yep, there would be a lot of pain involved in a death at his hands.

"What is my purpose?"

"I would like you to mate with one of my guards." Now we're talking, get straight to the heart of the matter. Too bad the heart of the matter was fucked up!

"WHAT? What do you mean by 'mate'?" I have to admit, 'mating' with muscles was an intriguing idea, but I had a feeling that sex wasn't why I was needed. There was something deeper.

"I would like you to have sexual relations with one of my guard members," he pointed to Muscles, Demetri, and the kid.

"I got that part genius! What outcome do you want from my 'mating' with one of your boys back there?" I already had a sneaking suspicion, but I needed Aro to say the words.

"I would like you to carry a hybrid child for us."

Whelp, there it is! He wants me to be an egg donating surrogate mother for one of his guard members. How is it even possible for a vampire and a human to have a baby? And did I want these freaks to have one of my babies?

I thought back to my girls and their births and how happy I had been when the doctor laid them on my chest after they were born. I couldn't imagine giving them up. I don't care if my child was a half-vampire or not, they weren't going to be the ones to raise it. The mother in me kicked in and I was pissed!

I growled at Aro, which only caused him to throw his head back and cackle.

"I don't care if you kill me. In fact the sooner you get it over with the happier I will be. But I'll be damned if I let one of your henchmen impregnate me only to take my baby from me." I was scowling at him, trying with all my might to Vader choke-hold him.

What? They were vampires, why couldn't the Force be real too?

"Oh my dear you don't have a choice." His tone left no room for argument. "The birth of your child will kill you." He added waving his hands like my death wasn't the issue.

I fell to my knees. Being drugged and having no food in me had caused my body to be weak. And yet I had been able to stand on my own and even fight back a little. But when Aro gave me this last piece of information, it was too much for me to handle. My body collapsed under the weight of his words.

Two of the greatest moments in my life had been the births of my daughters. I had never wanted to have any more children after the accident took my family from me. I couldn't go through that again only for it to end up with me barely clinging to life. And to know now, that I would be forced to give birth to a precious miracle again, only to have it kill me and I would never be able to see my baby grow was too much to bear.

Yes, I was more than prepared to die. In fact I had welcomed it with open arms. I had all but figured out that these vampires, who held me against my will, would show no mercy to me. But never once in my twisted mind did I think they were going to use me as a half vampire baby breeding factory.

I looked up into the eyes of these vampires and saw no pity or remorse. On the contrary, they all stood and started making their way to the double door as if I was nothing. They didn't even give me a second glance as they made their way out.

They didn't seem to care about my feelings or my opinion on the matter, so I knew arguing was fruitless. It would only service to get me more worked up than I already was. My thoughts were of no consequence.

I watched the vampires leave and Aro stopped long enough to place a hand on Muscles bicep, nod his head and turn and glide out the door. Muscles looked like he was scared and nodded his head, but he stayed where he was. He looked up as Aro left and I could see pity in his eyes.

My eyes made contact with his and I could suddenly feel the sting of tears. I hadn't cried since I left the United States, and my eyes started to burn in protest.

For some unexplained reason, I couldn't break eye contact with Muscles. So I just sat there with my butt resting on my feet, my hands limp at my sides crying silent tears.

Muscles and I stared at each other for what seemed like forever and I realized we were the only people left in the room.

Why was he still there with me? And what was with the silent exchange between Aro and muscles? Was he supposed to be the one to do the deed?

I was no longer frightened for myself but for my unborn child; the one who wasn't even created yet.

What the hell kind of freak show had I been forced into? And why did I have a feeling this was only the beginning of my walking nightmare?

* * *

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	3. Family Jewels

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister!

Enjoy!

* * *

_What the hell kind of freak show had I been forced into? And why did I have a feeling this was only the beginning of my walking nightmare?_

I sat there staring at Muscles, just crying. I cried till I couldn't cry anymore; staring into eyes that had captured mine the second I had looked into them. My fantasies about taking a tumble with Muscles seemed like an eternity ago.

I was trying to process all the information that the vampire Aro had given me, but my brain was having a hard time trying to catch up. There were certain things that I understood and other things I figured I would have to face when I was presented with them.

First, I understood that I was too be some kind of human incubator for a hybrid child; my child. My heart broke and I grabbed at my chest to try to stop some of the pain that was assaulting me. I started gasping for breath and I heard this strangling noise.

What is that? I saw Muscles flinch and take a step forwards like he wanted to comfort me; but he stopped mid stride, turned and stomped out the door. Great the only vampire that had even remotely showed remorse was gone. I felt alone and crippled under the weight of the task that was forced upon me.

When I had boarded the plane in St. Louis bound for London, I felt my chest lighten for the first time since the death of my family. I had spent six months in a broken house just letting the pressure of the heavy stones of grief squeeze the life out of me. I didn't realize how weighted down I was by them till I decided, on the fly, to escape.

Those stones, which had been heaped on me when my loves were ripped from this earth, were finally started to give up the relentless task of pressing the life out of me every mile I placed between myself and my old life. Every day I spent running from my past had lightened my load. The four months I had spent in Europe had taken so much pressure off my chest that I hardly noticed the pain on most days.

Now, sitting on a stone floor in the throne room of a vampire castle, all the pain and despair of the past combined with the hopelessness of the future was too much for me to handle.

The room started spinning and everything went black; and I collapsed.

Waking up in a warm bed with an amazingly soft pillow behind my head was something I would never tire of; European Bed and Breakfasts were the best! I rolled over and snuggled into my pillow and tried to shake off the wicked crazy dream I had just had.

I know that some authors say that they have a dream and then they just have to write it down; and before you know it they are millionaires. Well I just have to say that if I put this dream down on paper I would make billions! It was so vivid, I felt like I had actually been there walking around in my dream. The sights and smells were as real to me as daily life.

I remember there was a red eyed man who abducted and drugged me, took me to a castle where I was told, by the freaks that lived there, that they wanted me to have a baby with a vampire.

I started laughing out loud at my stupidity. Wow I needed to get a life! I am a freak! Who has dreams about vampires and humans making babies?

"What is so funny?" asked a bell like soprano.

I shot up and opened my eyes. What I saw had me gasping for breath and my heart racing in my chest; my dream was real.

I looked around the stone room I was in and saw a small, very ancient looking dresser with domed tray on it. Next to it was one of those porcelain jugs with the bowl under them. You know the ones they used before running water. The bed I was in looked just as ancient as the dresser and I was snuggled under a scarlet silk down comforter. I looked down at my arm and noticed I was in some kind of long sleeved white flannel nightgown, and my hands were clean. I reached up and touched my hair, half expecting it to be knotted and a mess from sweating my ass off yesterday, but it felt clean and it was brushed.

Someone had given me a fucking bath after I passed out? Rather than feel violated I felt a little gracious. It reminded me of something my sisters would have done for me.

Thinking about my sisters made my eyes tear up. I would never see them again. What would they be told happened to me? I loved them so much, and to think about them suffering because of me was heartbreaking. After the accident that killed my family I would wake up much like this; clean and not remembering how I got that way.

Which brought me around full circle; someone in this hell hole cared about me. Now, to find out who?

I turned my head and I was suddenly looking at a young girl with blonde hair and bright red eyes. Ah, vampire! I connected the dots and realized, red eyes equals bloodsucker. Aren't you proud of me?

This young girl was sitting in a chair next to the bed that I was currently occupying giving me a funny look.

"What?" I asked her.

"You are a strange human," she had one eyebrow quirked and she shook her head lightly.

I chucked at her, "So I've been told!" I shrugged my shoulders and winked at her.

Her eyes lit up and she gave me a small smile. She was a cute girl; she looked about fourteen or fifteen and she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a Guns-n-Roses baby tee. Her hair was the color of my oldest daughters; three different colors of blonde and reached well below her shoulders. She was defiantly pretty. I wonder when she had been changed into a vampire; and why so young?

I finished my assessment of the room and realized there was a small bedside table, and a settee in a cove to the right of the door. On the other side of the door was a small two person table with only one chair. I looked back at the girl and realized she was sitting in its twin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Sorry, do you want me to leave?" she asked standing up.

"No you can stay, I am just a little disoriented from yesterday. It was a lot to take in." I didn't know how much she knew. I didn't want her to know everything or else I might scare her. Although, I am not sure you can even scare something that feeds from the blood of humans.

She looked nervous and I smiled at her, hoping to calm her nerves. It can't be easy to be in a small room with someone who smells like lunch.

"Are you hungry? I don't know what humans eat so I just bought the special." She got up and walked over to the dresser and picked up the covered tray sitting on top of it and brought it over to me.

My stomach growled and she giggled at me and set the tray carefully on my lap. I giggled back at her and lifted the lid of the tray.

I groaned when I saw what she had gathered. Thank the Lord the special was one of my favorite breakfast foods!

"Is it ok? I can go and get you anything you want. I think I might ask Master to hire a human cook for you. I don't want you to go hungry and a bunch of vampires surely can't make good culinary selections."

"Hey, hey don't get all flustered. I groaned because this looks AMAZING!" The tray had a couple of crepes smothered in strawberries, a bowl of fruit, and a thermos of what smelled like coffee. "I am starving!"

She giggled again and sat down in her chair next to my bed. "Good! The lady at the bakery was not very helpful."

"I am sure that she wasn't! You guys can be pretty intimidating when you want to be."

The returning grin she gave me led me to believe that she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"So how long have you lived here?" I asked pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"I have lived with the Volturi since the end of the fifteenth century." She said matter of factly.

I snorted and took a long drag of my coffee. This little girl is as old as Christopher Columbus. What kind of fucked up fairy tale life was I living right now?

"So you like it here?" I asked taking a bite of the crepes. This caused me to moan again, and the little-old girl to giggle. I began to scarf down my breakfast. Who knew when I was going to eat again and I was fucking hungry.

I finished off my crepes in record time and looked up at the little girl who now had a disgusted look on her face. Apparently human food didn't appeal to her. The question was, did_ I_ appeal to her? Yikes, better skip that one.

"Well?" I asked her. She still hadn't answered my question.

"I suppose," she said shrugging. "I am useful to the Master and that was always enough."

I looked up at her when she said that. Her use of the past tense, was, didn't escape my notice. My guess was her usefulness was beginning to no longer be enough. I smiled a knowing smile at her and picked up my bowl of fruit and continued to eat.

We sat there in silence while I finished my breakfast. I was sipping the last of the coffee when my curiosity got the best of me.

"So you the one that cleaned me up last night?"

She gave me a guilty look and nodded her head at me. "I am sorry if I offended you. I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable." She bowed her head and started fiddling with her hands. She looked just like a little girl that was caught doing something bad and had to confess to her parents. My mother's heart broke for her.

"No it's perfectly fine, sweetheart! Thank you," I assured her patting her knee, smiling. She flinched when I touched her and looked up at me with shock in her eyes.

"When my brother told me that Master Aro was bringing a human woman in the castle, I was curious as to the reason. No one would tell me, and I was about to force it out of someone when I heard you being brought into the throne room. I saw you and felt this weird pull to watch over you. That has never happened before. The only person I feel even remotely connected to is my brother. I was curious, so I hid outside the throne room when Demetri brought you in. I overheard when they said what they are going to do to you." She had panic behind her ruby eyes. "I am so sorry!" She looked like she was about to cry then she buried her face in her tiny hands.

Suddenly I had this overwhelming need to protect her and shelter her from the horrible vampires who inhabited this castle. The furious mother lion that I thought I had buried down deep, roared and clawed at my heart.

This little girl had woken the slumbering mother lion in me. And I might not get the chance to be a mother to my upcoming child but I could be whatever this poor little girl needed for as long as I was alive.

I moved the breakfast tray to the side and jumped out from underneath my blanket, crawled off the bed and squatted down at her feet. I didn't know if it was safe to hug a vampire, but this little girl looked like she needed someone to just love her.

I decided to work my way into the hug and I put my left hand on her knee. She looked up at me and I could see her eyes glistening, but no tears falling. Huh, maybe vampires can't cry? That would suck!

She looked at me with wide eyes and I reached up with my right to push her bangs out of her eyes and smooth her hair down. I took my hand off of her knee and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

I took it slow and placed my thumb on her cheek and rubbed her ice cold cheek, brushing away invisible tears. I smiled up at her. I could see the fear and sorrow behind her red eyes and it broke my heart. This mothering stuff was like riding a bike, you never forget.

"Hey, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. I am not scared," that was a total lie, I was scared shitless, but I didn't want her to worry. "So you just put this nonsense out of your head."

Before I knew what was happening she flung herself into my arms. I fell back on my ass against my bed and sat there a little stunned. It hurt a little to have her stone like body collide with mine. It felt like someone had just hit me with a giant bag of rocks. I was going to be sore tomorrow.

She sat across my lap with her cheek against my chest, and her arms around her stomach. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her back and forth. I reached up and smoothed out her hair and rubbed soothing circles on her back. She sobbed into my chest and her little body shook with the forcefulness of her sobs.

"Hey it's ok."

"No it's not! All they want is to take your baby! How could they do that?"

"I don't know sweetheart," was the only answer I had for her.

We sat there till she got her sobs under control. When she was breathing normally she leaned back and kissed me on the cheek. I was so touched by this little girl that I hugged her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me back.

When we broke our hug she grinned at me and jumped off my lap. I smiled at the peace that had come over her face. Her tiny angel face looked aged when I had first laid eyes on her. Now there was a glow that made her actually look like a teenager. I was happy that a mother's love could do that for her.

She grinned down and me and held her hand out to help me up off the ground. Teenagers are resilient. I guess that goes for vampire teenagers as well. One minute she is sobbing uncontrollably the next she is practically bouncing and looking down at me smiling.

I shook my head and chuckled at her. I placed my hand in her tiny ice cold one and she pulled me to my feet.

Once on my feet I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me. The girl grinned at me and plopped down on the bed. I laughed at her and crawled to lean against the headboard.

She giggled back at me and smiled sheepishly kicking her dangling legs. I didn't know what it was about this little-old vampire girl that made me want to do mother-ish type things but at this point in my life I decided to not question the urge. I had a death sentence hanging over my head and I didn't have the luxury of time to think about my actions.

I patted the spot in front of my crossed legs and she moved over closer to me, giving me a confused look. I rolled my eyes at her ad grabbed her shoulders and turned her till she had her back to me. She complied with my pushing but I could tell by her stiff shoulders that she was confused as to why I wanted her back to me.

I reached over to my bedside table and picked up the brush that was lying there and started brushing her hair. She had beautiful straight hair that reached to the middle of her back. Every girl liked to have their hair brushed. And living here she probably hadn't ever had someone brush her hair for her. I heard her sigh and she relaxed under my touch.

"I don't remember much about my human life, but I remember my mother's face." She said in a low voice. I could barely hear her. "You look a lot like her. She was killed by a knight from our village, because she refused him. Our father was distraught when he found her and attacked the knight. He was hung in the town square. There was talk throughout the town as to what was to be done with us. That's when my brother and I ran away. We didn't want to be separated."

"I'm sorry honey that must have been awful."

"I don't remember much now," she dismissed. But I could tell it was painful for her to talk about. "We wondered around for a couple of days, not really sure what to do. The food we had finally ran out and that is when we stumbled into Master Aro."

I had a feeling this part of her story did not end well. She took a deep breath and I continued my brushing.

"He was so nice. He took us to an inn and paid for our meal, I didn't know what he was then. I just thought he was a nice man. After the meal Master Aro shook both of our hands and I remember his eyes lit up. He begged us to go with him; we had nowhere else to go and he promised not to separate us. Once we got out of the town it grew darker and he led us to a cave just inside the forest. I remember being frightened because his facial expression changed when he got us into that cave, but I just thought that I was being a silly girl. My brother and I settled in for the night and shortly after I fell asleep I was woken by my brother screaming."

I didn't realize I had stopped brushing till she turned her head a little to look at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and resumed my brushing. Determined not to cry for this little girl I had come to care about in the past couple of hours.

"Aro had bitten him first, so he wouldn't have to fight him when it was my turn. I remember him turning to me, my brother's blood dripping from the corner of his mouth and the monstrous look in his eyes. In that moment I knew he was a vampire and I was scared for my life. He leaned over and bit me on the neck, and then he was gone. He left us there to burn without even telling us what we were becoming. When a human is turned into a vampire the venom burns through your body, changing as it goes. It is the worst pain you can imagine. It feels like your body is on fire and there is no relief and no way to stop it. The whole time I was burning I could feel hatred for vampire's course through my veins. I dwelled on that hatred to take my mind off of the pain. I think that is where my power comes from. My brother said he tried to make his pain go away, maybe that is where his power stems from?"

She lost me at power, but I would ask when she was done with her story.

"We were left alone in that forest cave with only each other's screams for company. Master Aro returned mere hours before the change was complete and waited, in silence, for the burning to end." She growled a low guttural growl before she began again. "When the change was complete I was furious. Aro tried to explain what had happened to us, but I wouldn't hear it. My brother sat in stunned silence and didn't move. I don't think he could believe what Aro was telling us. But not me, I believed every word of it and I was angry that he took our lives away from us only to turn us into monsters. That is when I used my power for the first time." She turned to look at me.

I could see helplessness and the desire for me to believe her in her eyes, I wanted to tell her to keep going and that I would be here for her no matter what the outcome of her story was. But the lump in my throat wouldn't let me speak.

I was angry and sad for the predicament that she had been in, and my hatred for the old fuck was growing by the minute. Rat bastard stole this baby's life from her at a young age for God only knows why. And now he had abducted me in hopes that I can prove some perverted theory that vampires and humans can make a baby. Sick fuck! As you have noticed the cynical bitch comes out of hiding when she is feeling threatened or defensive.

I took a deep breath to settle to my anger and sadness, and reached up to cup her cold cheek in my hand. I rubbed her cheek bone again with my thumb and nodded for her to continue.

"Some vampires have special powers," she paused for me to let that sink in. I was still confused. Could some of them fly like Superman? Or maybe some of them could do magic like Harry Potter? I need to stop getting shocked by new information. This whole place was a cluster fuck of mythology.

I wonder what this girl's power was. It couldn't be anything too bad she is such a sweet little girl. I guess it didn't matter to me; I was falling in love with her sweet face anyway. Vampires with superpowers? Huh, this place gets weirder and weirder.

Just when I was going to ask her what her power was the door opened, and none other than Aro himself walked through the door. I scowled at him, I had a new reason to hate him and she was sitting on my bed.

I stood up and stepped in front of her. I had to protect her. I know what you're thinking, she is a vampire she doesn't need your protection. To that I say, like hell she doesn't! This was the man who stole her childhood. I'll be damned if he hurts her again, at least while I am still alive.

My defense of the girl must have been funny because Aro chuckled and grinned at me. Well dick weed two can play at this game. The cynical bitch in me was rolling up her sleeves ready to go ape shit on his old vampire ass if he came to close to my little girl.

Whoa, when did she become my little girl? I turned to see that she was standing next to me looking at me with love and appreciation. I smiled at her and grabbed her hand, and gave her a squeeze of confidence. She gave me a big grin and I turned still hand in hand with my girl to face the giant dick.

"Can I help you, or have you come to tell me that you want me to give birth to a half dog baby for you?"

"Oh my dear Johannah, you are so cynical!" He snickered doing that gay clapping thing that he was doing yesterday again.

"How do you know my name?" I had made sure that no one knew my name. I didn't want them tracing me back to my family and killing them. I was starting to panic for my sisters and my parents when my girl spoke up.

"He has a power."

Oh well that makes sense, NOT! What the fuck was his power, Facebook friend finder? What a cool superhero that would make, 'I can find out anyone's name and information!' I can just see him now in a purple cape with FFF across his chest.

Man the cynical bitch distracts me! When it was just me and my girl I couldn't find cynical bitch, but this bastard brings her out in full force. Back to task!

"What is your power?"

He didn't answer his eyes just twinkled with amusement. He sure is a weird mother fucker!

"He can read minds," my girl said. Whelp, that would be a shocker but I have never been one to filter what I say. If I think it, it comes out. Like a cheap condom machine, quarter in, fun times come out.

She must have seen my eyes widen because she continued, "But he has to touch you to do it." Relief, I just have to avoid him. "And he can not only read what is going through your mind at that moment, but everything you have ever said or done."

Oh so that's how he got his information? Interesting, at least I know he won't be touching me again. I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole.

"Ok so you know me," I snapped at Aro, not that I really cared. "Once again I am going to ask you, what are you doing in here?"

I was prepared for him to say, 'This is my castle and will go where I want.' But no he stuns me into submission.

"Well my dear we have brought in a human doctor to examine you. We have to be sure we impregnate you closest to your time of ovulation. I don't want any mistakes made." He made it sound like he was discussing the weather, not my impending death.

I could feel my girl shaking at my side and I didn't want her to be in this room when the doctor did his exam.

I turned to her and looked down into her scared face. She was looking up at me like she was afraid I was going to vanish in the wind.

I cupped her cheek and bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Why don't you go look for that cook you were talking about earlier? I am going to be awfully hungry when the doc is done with me, and you could have my supper ready."

She smiled a half smile. I knew she wasn't buying my distraction techniques, but she wasn't arguing either. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I hugged her back. I gave her one more kiss on the top of her head and she fled the room. I noticed she avoided touching Aro, interesting?

He thought so too because he said, "Interesting?"

"Let's do this!" I said cracking my knuckles.

"Felix, bring in the Doctor," Aro called, his eyes never leaving mine.

When the human doctor entered my room he looked about as bad as I probably had yesterday; you could tell he was not thrilled by the whole vampire thing. He was an older man, probably in his late sixties, but he looked strong. Good, you have to have a little gumption to deal with vampires!

I felt for him. He didn't want this anymore than I did. I was about to move to console him and introduce myself when Muscles entered behind him.

Yummy! Was all I could think, and then it registered that his name must be Felix.

Felix is not a name you hear too often, but then again neither is Johannah. My mother was somewhat of a hillbilly and she named her four daughters backwoods names. I am Johannah the oldest, then there is Clarie, then Georgia, then my baby sister's name is Mary Ellen. I know we sound like a bad episode of the Walton's but it is all true. She was raised in a small hill town in Virginia and then moved to Missouri when I was born because my dad got a job there. Needless to say my redneck roots run deep. Get me pissed enough and a tiny southern accent makes its debut.

He walked through the door, having to duck his head, and nodded his head at me. I winked at him and waved a tiny hello. He grinned and winked back at me; my knees turned to jelly.

"Felix will be your…" Aro seemed like he was trying to find the delicate word to describe my stud horse.

"Yeah, Yeah I know exactly what he is supposed to be. No need to spell it out!"

Felix looked at me and mouthed, 'I'm Sorry'. I just waved him off with a wink and a shoulder shrug. That didn't seem to make him feel better he bowed his head and stared at his feet, clearly defeated.

"Well, let us begin the examination." Aro said taking a seat in the small settee in my room.

"HELL NO!" I screamed. Felix looked at Aro like he was nuts and then back at me. The anger and unease in his eyes was enough to make me solider on. "_You_ are leaving!"

"Excuse me?" Aro asked with a glimmer of mirth.

"You heard me, you are leaving! Felix and the Doc will be the only ones allowed in this room!"

Don't ask me why I agreed to let Felix in the room. Maybe it was to appease Aro into leaving, so that he could trust there would at least one vampire in the room? Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that, maybe I'll believe it.

"As you wish my dear, I know women are sensitive about these sort of situations." He said rising from his perch and bowing his head to me and then he looked at the Doc and Felix, "I will want a full report."

The Doc nodded and looked like he was going to shit his pants. And Felix did a small bow type thing in acknowledgement. I noticed that he kept his hands behind his back, hum; apparently I wasn't the only one wanting to hide something, Interesting.

Felix took Aro's old seat without a word and turned to face the door. I rolled my eyes and sat down on my bed. He was going to see the family jewels soon enough, why be so gentlemanly now?

Maybe he's old fashioned? No, that didn't seem right. I had a sick feeling that if Demetri was the one chosen for me, he would have stood at my feet and watched the whole exam. I was thanking God for Felix.

The Doctor sat in the chair that my girl had been in and took a deep breath then looked up at me. I was sitting there patiently in my nightgown with my back ramrod straight and my hands folded politely in my lap.

"Are you ok with all of this?" he asked me in a whispered in heavily accented English.

"Of course I am, Doc. I don't really have a choice but to be ok with it, do I. I am sorry that you got pulled into this though, I wish I could have spared you." And I was sincere in my wishes. I had wanted to die, and I had nothing left to hold me to this earth. My family was gone. But this poor gray haired doctor probably had a wife waiting for him to come home for supper.

He shook his head and his eyes started to water behind his designer glasses. I leaned over and put my hand over his and gave him a little squeeze. He squeezed my hand back I saw a tear hit his shirt. What did that bastard Aro tell him?

The heaviness in the air was tangible, I looked over at Felix's broad back and he was slumped over too. Well I wasn't going to be a Debbie Downer! Shock and awe was the name of the game!

"You want to ask questions first, or do you want to see the good stuff?" I said, waggling my eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood. He looked at me and smiled, though I noticed it didn't reach his eyes.

I saw Felix's shoulders shake with quiet laughs. Eureka, my job is done.

We started off with some questions. The Doc asked me when my last period was, I told him I just got off of it two days ago. That was the reason for the tryst with the horse man; I was celebrating the departure of Aunt Flow!

When we got to the topic of previous pregnancies the heaviness in the room returned. When I told the doctor that I had been pregnant twice before, Felix turned around with a mask of horror on his face. It took me a while to calm him down and assure him that my children were no longer alive, neither was my husband. He was pacing the room so fast I was having a hard time keeping up with him.

The doctor took my temperature and did a pelvic exam. Felix turned his head for that one. When he was done he assured me that he would be back every morning at eight AM and that I wasn't allowed to set my feet on the floor till he checked my temperature. He suspected I would ovulate in about fourteen days, and I confirmed that is when I thought I ovulated.

Before he left he bent over and kissed me on the forehead and said he was sorry. I was sure I was going to cry but I just squeezed his forearm and smiled up at him.

He exited out the door carrying his bag with him, and Felix turned to me and made a low bow. I couldn't very well let him leave without inviting him back. I mean if I was going to have a baby with this man I was going to at least get to know him first.

"Would you come back tomorrow?" I could feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks. What the hell is that? I haven't been shy around a guy since motorcycle guy.

He gave me his shit-eating grin, winked, and said "As you wish." With that he turned on his heel and followed the doctor out of my room.

I felt like Princess Buttercup from the Princess Bride. Only my Wesley was a seven-foot tall, huge Italian hunk of man and not some scrawny British guy!

No offense, but I like them big! (*wink*)

I laid there looking at the ceiling in my room thinking about the consequences of the day. When I heard a timid knock on the door; I sat up because I knew it was my girl coming with my supper.

"Come in," I sung.

I heard a giggle and the door opened. There stood my girl in a change of clothes with a tray like my breakfast tray.

"So did you find a cook?"

"Yep and she made you Lasagna! I don't know if that is exciting, it smells revolting but she thought you would like it."

"Like it? I love it! Thank you," I just realized I didn't know her name. I loved this girl like my own child and I didn't even know her name. Way to go stupid!

She brought the food over to the table and I picked up the chair next to my bed and brought it over to the table and plopped myself into it.

"Thank you so much for the food. I am grateful for your help."

"You are more than welcome," she said with a smile. "I just wish you didn't have to," she swallowed, "you know."

"Yeah I do know, but I do and I am going to make the best of it. There is no use being depressed when you have no control over your situation. And you know what the first thing I am going to do is?"

She shook her head and grinned at me.

"Ask you what your name is! I have been calling you my girl in my head and it is getting old." I winked at her and she giggled.

"I am Jane."

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Please Review! I would like that very much!

Love ya Babies!

Keep on Keepin on!


	4. Jo

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister!

Enjoy!

* * *

"_I am Jane." _

Jane sat and talked with me while I ate. We talked about my travels through Europe and all the things I had seen and done.

I was surprised to find out that Jane had never really seen all the wonders of Europe. You would think, being as old as she was, she would have at least went to the top of the Eifel Tower. No, she told me she only left the castle on missions for Aro.

I started checking off places in my head that she needed to see. Wishing that I could be there with her when she saw the English countryside, or the Palace at Versailles; she needed to see the Louvre, and take a gondola ride in Venice.

She had assured me that she was content with her life, but I could see the turmoil in her eyes. You know, sometimes this gift of mine was a nuisance. Being able read people's emotions was beginning to wear on me. I think it had something to do with my mood in combination to the strength of feelings that I was coming across. Fear, uncertainty, curiosity, and worry were prevalent among about a hundred others I felt from the vampires around me.

The humans that I had daily contact with, well up until two days ago, were better at hiding their emotions. Or at least I couldn't pick up on them as readily. If the emotional atmosphere in this damn place didn't kill me, my baby would. I felt water logged by the sadness and despair not just coming from me, but from the Doctor, Felix and now my Janie.

And just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Aro would float in. That bastard had the emotional range of a horny Chihuahua! Damn fool, thinks that he is better than all the big dogs; when he is really just a hyperactive rat.

Feeling all of these depressing emotions made my heart break for my child who would have to grow up in this environment. Damn, this sucks!

Just as my heart would start to break I would turn my focus to Jane. This little girl vampire woman had her feet in her chair, arms wrapped around her knees giving me a look of curiosity and longing. She had her chin resting on her knees and was staring at me while I drank the tea the cook had placed on my tray.

In that moment she looked more like a child than she had in the six or so hours I had known her.

I felt so bad for her. I couldn't imagine spending hundreds of years trapped in this dark castle. How boring was that? I tried not to think about the fact that my baby would probably have the same sort of existence.

Maybe I could force Felix to take it out of the castle every once in a while? Would he be a good father to our baby? Would he even be allowed to be a father? Cripes, I was going to lose my mind if I kept thinking about my, not even created yet, unborn baby.

Jane and I talked about my family back in Missouri, and how much I miss my little girls. I showed her the picture I had in my purse of my little family on Easter Sunday about two months before the accident.

Yeah I still had my fucking purse! Damn vampires want to steal my life and my child, but I'll be damned if they didn't break into my room at the Bed and Breakfast and steal all my shit! How thoughtful right? Wrong! Creepy fucks!

Jane didn't say much when I talked about my family she just sat there and listened to every word that I said. She would smile or laugh when I remembered a funny story.

Like when my oldest daughter told Santa Clause that she wanted a brother for Christmas; and then went on to explain to him the difference between boys and girls. She told the bearded man at the mall that boys keep a stick in their pants and girls have theirs broken off when they are born. She told him to tell the doctor to leave her brother's stick alone! She already had a sister and didn't want another one. I laughed till I cried remembering the old man's shocked face. My daughter had been as serious as a heart attack, and he knew it. Jane looked like if she could cry she would have, and her laughter was so beautiful. It was like a wind chime.

It was weird that I was able to open up to her. I didn't talk about that accident in depth. I just told her a general summary of the incident. I think Janie seemed to understand that it was hard for me to discuss. She just reached her tiny hand across the table and placed it on top of mine. I gave her a small smile and shed a couple of tears but that was all.

I hadn't talked to anyone about my family. Not one of my family members had been able to get me to even speak during the six months I spent in my broken down house. And when I ran away to Europe it was the past and was easier to just ignore.

But now sitting here at a table in a windowless room, in a vampire castle, across from a tiny vampire I was beginning to love like a child; I just couldn't hold the memories back anymore. They came pouring out like water from a glass. Jane had broken down a wall that I had built up around my heart; and that made me love her even more.

My upcoming demise could have had a little to do with my outpouring but I really didn't care. I wanted someone to know I had a past and that I had once loved one of the greatest men God had ever put on this earth; and that together we had created two of the most intelligent, beautiful, and precious little girls in the world.

I didn't exactly let her in on all the gritty details but I was more than willing to share stories of the girls and my husband. I told her about all the good stuff and some of the hard times, but I kept the horror of my past at bay; I didn't want to concern her.

We talked and laughed and shared stories from our past. We eventually moved from the table back to my bed and I leaned against the headboard and Janie laid her head in my lap. I played with her hair and rubbed soothing circles on her back. She just closed her eyes and listened to my tales.

She told me all about vampires and what they can do. I was shocked to learn about the vegetarian vampire family in America. Though she didn't expound on the details of this family, I was interested none the less. I guess I would just have to weasel that information out of Felix tomorrow.

Just the thought of my time alone with Felix tomorrow made me nervous. Not because I was going to be alone with a vampire, because if you have been paying attention I am alone with one right now. I am nervous because I am going to be alone with a man. I know what you are thinking, 'You told us yourself that you were a gutter slut in Europe. Didn't you have to talk to them?' To answer the first question, yes. To answer the second question, no, we didn't spend a lot of time talking. It was more physical then verbal. Well unless you count screaming, and if you count that, I did a hell of a lot of talking.

Felix and I are going to be talking tomorrow and I didn't exactly know how to go about doing that. My husband had been my best friend before we got married. Our relationship was never force, it just was. I don't know how to go about this whole thing with Felix. He is going to be the father of my child; I guess I just have to wing it!

Janie continued with her vampire one-o-one lesson. She told me about the powers that some vampires have. She informed me that when a human is changed some of them carry special traits over into this life and they manifest as special gifts or powers. I was curious to know what hers was, because she had talked about having a power.

Nothing could have prepared me to find out what her power was. When Jane told me what her power was I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants. She lifted her head from its place in my lap to look into my eyes; I could see the amusement and curiosity behind her ruby orbs.

I know what you are thinking, why are you laughing at Jane? Well, I guess I expected her gift to be a little less evil. The little girl that I had come to love wasn't capable of hurting anyone; at least that is what I thought. And to hear her say what she could do struck me as so odd I couldn't help but laugh. I know I am crazy!

"What are you laughing for? I just told you I can make someone feel like they are on fire with just one glance!" She couldn't help but giggle when her statement caused another round of my laughter.

"You just seem so sweet and innocent! I guess I would have never guessed that you were capable of that!" I choked out between laughs.

She grinned at me and said, "HEY, I can be vicious if I want! You know, I can be very scary!" She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Of course you can Janie!" I said trying to clamp down my laughter. I pressed my lips into a tight line and choked down another laugh at the pout that she was giving me.

I reached over and cupped her cheek then I tucked some hair behind her ear. This defrosted her teenage temper tantrum and she giggled and laid her head back in my lap. I rolled my eyes; Teenagers!

She finished telling me about vampires. About how fast they were, and how they were extremely strong. I asked her to show me her strength and she bent the metal dome lid of my dinner tray inside out! Geesh, I was going to have to watch myself around the vamps. They could hurt me and not even realize they were doing it!

I learned about the changing process and the thirst that they have to endure on a daily basis. I got worried and asked Janie if my, being near her put her in pain. I didn't want her to suffer on my account.

After my concerned inquiry she sat up and looked me in the eye with the greatest amount of conviction I had ever felt in my life and said, "Johannah I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to. You don't smell good to me like that. I mean you smell good, but it is a hundredth of what I normally feel around a human. I care about you and I want to protect you. Your warmth is comforting."

I smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. Her words left me speechless, and that is not easy to do.

I wanted to tell her that she was beginning to mean a lot to me as well, but I couldn't talk over the damn lump in my throat.

She laid her head back down in my lap and we enjoyed the calm silence of the room.

I ran my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back. I heard her sigh and snuggle deeper into the comforter I had placed between us. I loved her but too much skin to skin contact made me freezing cold. I didn't want her to think I didn't want the contact so when I had crawled into the bed I covered my legs up.

As we sat there I began to think about the day I just had. I had woken up to a vampire sitting next to my bed staring me down. Not something that I necessarily wanted to do again, unless it was Janie of course, or maybe yummy Felix. Yes, I was going to have some good dreams tonight!

I had endured a visit from the giant dick Aro, had learned Felix's name and even asked him to come back tomorrow. Even though I was scared shitless, I was secretly very excited about the possibilities of that conversation. I wanted to ask him to fill in some of the blanks that Janie had left when it came to vampires; especially the illusive Cullen family. I was curious about their lifestyle and why they pissed Aro off so much. I was all for any person who pissed him off! Damn big-headed-over dramatic-vampire freak!

I had enjoyed the food the new cook had prepared but somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered what would happen to the poor woman after I was dead. Would she become a midnight snack for the vampires? I shivered at the thought.

"Are you cold?" Jane felt me shiver. She sat up and looked at me with worry in her expressive ruby eyes. How was I supposed to tell her I was worried for the cook's life? That's easy I didn't! There was no reason to worry her.

"I am fine sweetheart. But I am getting a little tired," I yawned just thinking about how tired I was. I hadn't done anything today, well except spread my legs for the Doc, but I was wore out!

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she gasped jumping off the bed.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at her dramatics.

"Don't worry sweetheart!" I laughed at her. "I am glad that you sat with me. I needed someone to talk to tonight. Will you come back tomorrow?"

Her eyes lit up, "You want me to come back?"

"Of course I do silly! You are the only friend I have here at the moment and I am not giving my time up with you for anything!"

She grinned down at me and then leapt onto me wrapping her arms around my neck. I grunted and hugged her back, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

"I love you," I heard her whisper.

Well if I didn't cry at her earlier statement, I sure as hell was going to now! I knew that she wasn't the type of person to give her love away, and yet she chose to love me. She was someone who had guarded her tiny dead heart and didn't allow anyone in. Even her own brother didn't really see the real her. But with me she was a little girl again. She was someone who wasn't allowed to grow up; someone who needed a woman in her life, and a mother to love her.

"I love you too baby," I whispered back at her. I knew she could hear me. It was another one of those freaky vampire things, super hearing.

She squeezed me tighter and released me. She leaned back a little and placed a kiss on my cheek and I kissed hers back. She sighed and stood up from the bed. I grinned up at her and she smiled back.

"I will bring you breakfast in the morning?" It came out as more of a question.

"You better! They won't let me out of this stupid bed till that quack takes my temp and I will need my Janie here to keep me company till they get here."

She smiled and nodded her head at me.

"See you in the morning," she sung waving goodbye to me and skipping out the door.

I didn't even get to say goodbye before she was out the door. I laughed and shook my head at her teenage silliness. I wonder when the last time she acted like the teenager she was. Probably too long ago to count! Poor baby!

I got up out of the bed and turned the lights off in my room. Damn vampires can have fucking electric installed in my room, but no plumbing! Sure it was crude and looked like something the masked face guy from the fucking Saw movies would have done, but at least I had a light above my head and a lamp by my bed. Would having a fucking toilet installed kill them? No of course it wouldn't they were already dead, and I didn't like pissing in a 'chamber pot.' Which, I'll have you know is just a crude ass bucket on the floor that poor Jane had to dump for me.

Oh well beggars can't be choosers, and kidnapped people have no right to request a working toilet.

I am so going to be leaving the lamp on next to my bed tonight. I am not scared of the dark or anything but I guess I should be in this creepy place! There are no windows in this room and when all the lights go out I can't see my hand in front of my face. And if living in a castle with vampires wasn't spooky enough I was not going to lose my vision as well.

I crawled under the covers and snuggled down into the mattress. I had a lot on my mind; I was going to be impregnated by a smoking hot vampire, and then if that wasn't enough my sweet baby was going to kill me during its birth. On top of that; I just knew I was going to be fucking awake forever, but for some reason I was asleep in no time. Score one for me!

Much to my chagrin I didn't dream at all. Not even one tiny dream sequence on me and the yummy Felix. Damn, I guess I would have to wait for the real thing; or the next time I fall asleep.

I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for the doc to come in; he did at eight o'clock sharp. I got my temperature taken, and it was a cool ninety-eight point six degrees! Yey me; I am healthy! Well at least for now.

Jane came in with my breakfast and our breakfast discussion centered once again on my life. She was bouncing in her chair asking me stupid questions like, what my favorite color or food was. What if felt like to eat ice cream; what having a dream felt like, and what they meant. I laughed at her enthusiasm for my mere human functions. She seemed more animated this morning for some reason. Maybe she had a good night. Who knows, but if she kept up this enquiry I would be ready for a nap by the time she left; this girl was wearing me out!

Lord only knows what vampires do for fun at night. Jane told me yesterday that they don't sleep. I can't imagine not sleeping at all. Sleep was my escape from the world. I loved being able to just close my eyes and make the world around me go away. I couldn't imagine living in this giant hell hole and not be able to sleep.

After breakfast she brought an ancient looking tub in and filled it with hot water. She may have bathed me last time but I was going to be doing that myself this time.

When the water was ready the copper high backed tub looked so good I was bouncing waiting for her to leave so I could hop in. She giggled at me sat a tray of sandwiches down on the table and skipped out of my room.

Jane had also carried in a large basket and had set it down on the settee. After she left I was curious to see what the basket contained and was touched to see it had some soaps, shampoo and conditioner, a new dress with matching shoes, some underwear, a new bra, three books, a razor, and a couple bars of expensive looking chocolate. Geesh that girl never ceased to amaze me. Her tender kindness was a welcome gift in my situation, and my eyes started to water as I fingered the simple pink card stock paper that said, "Because I love you!"

I chocked back a sob and turned to ready the tub for my much needed bath. I smelled pretty ripe and a bath was just what I needed for my body and soul. God bless that wonderful little vampire!

Soaking in that tub was the single greatest thing I had done since I was abducted by Darth Frodo. I don't remember my first bath and so the hot water seeping into my bones served not only to warm me up but if I closed my eyes I could pretend I was somewhere else.

The soaps that Jane had brought in with the tub were homemade bars of some kind, and they smelled like lilacs and vanilla. I scrubbed every inch of my body washed my hair and shaved all the necessary parts. I once again silently thanked Jane for thinking of me; man I loved that kid.

I stayed in that tub till all the water was cold and sitting in cold water wasn't appealing. Not to mention the fact that I looked like a giant prune.

I got dressed in the long sleeved navy blue shirt dress that Jane had brought for me. I chose to ignore the fact that the tag said Valentino on it and just put the dress on. It was exactly my size and I was once again impressed at the thoughtfulness of my favorite vampire, even if she bought me a designer dress that cost Lord knows how much. She had even managed to get me a matching pair of ballet flats. What a sweet girl!

I hummed a random tune while I brushed through my strawberry blonde hair. I was going to just have to deal with my curly mess today. Once I was satisfied with my mop I reached in my suitcase for my toiletry bag.

I rolled my eyes once again at the fucked-upped-ness of my situation. Freaks didn't care about taking me and forcing their will on me, but damn-it if they made sure I was comfortable and well fed

I put on my daily make-up, which consisted of mascara and a little lip gloss. I was never a big make-up wearer. It makes my face feel heavy. I was an all natural type of girl.

The only mirror I had was the tiny mirror in my seldom used compact. I noticed my large curls weren't as frizzy as I would have expected living in this damp castle. I shrugged my shoulders; I looked as good as I was going to get.

I didn't know what time Felix was supposed to get to my room so I organized my stuff. I emptied out my suitcases into the antique dresser and tossed them under my bed. After that task was over I cleaned up my room. There wasn't much to clean but I made the bed and wiped every hard surface down with my cloth breakfast napkin.

After I was done cleaning Jane came in with my dinner tray. She told me that she wasn't going to be able to stay, because of my visit with Felix. But she gave me a hug and a kiss and wished me luck. She even told me to relax that Felix was a good guy and that he seemed to really like me. Huh, I forced myself not to over think her last statement. The implications could literally kill me.

Once I was satisfied with the way my room looked and I had eaten the amazing steak and potatoes the cook had fixed; I stretched out on the settee and opened one of the books Jane had brought with my dress.

I was so wrapped up in the lives of the silly Bennett sisters that I didn't hear the knock at my door. When my visitor knocked again, a little more forcefully this time, it scared the shit out of me and I fell off the settee onto the hard stone floor.

"Ouch!" I groaned. I wasn't known to be the most graceful person in the world. I had a knack for tripping a lot, but falling off a couch, well this was a first for me.

I was sprawled out on the stone floor eyes closed trying to ward off the pain in the side of my ass, when I felt cold hands on my face.

They were a hell of a lot bigger than the ice cold hands that belonged to my Janie and I was nervous to find out just who owned these huge hands. They were so big only the palms were touching my face; the fingers were threaded through my hair and overlapping in the back. Knowing full well the power that vampires have, I knew this person could crush my skull like an empty beer can if they wanted to, but there was tenderness in the hands that I had only felt in Jane's smaller ones.

I was praying the hands belonged to a certain large-ish vampire named Felix. What, a girl can dream can't she. I squeezed my eyes tighter and prayed internally for the hands to be connected to him.

About one minute had passed since I had fallen; rather ungracefully from the settee and neither one of us had spoken. I just sat there like a lump on the floor with my eyes squeezed shut. The unknown tender hands stayed still on my face. It wasn't until I tried to shift my weight a little off my hip that we began to speak.

I tried to roll over on my ass but this only serviced to cause me more pain. I grimaced and sucked in a sharp breath when I felt a shooting pain race up my back. The hands on my face began to franticly move over my shoulders and arms and back up to my face. Geesh calm down buddy!

"What is it? Are you ok? I'll get that doctor if you need me to?" The deep voice connected to those hands could only belong to one person; Felix.

"Calm down, I am fine! I just need to get off this floor!" I got out through gritted teeth. My ass cheek was really beginning to hurt and I had a feeling the cold hard floor was to blame.

Before I could even push myself off of the floor I was scooped up into strong arms and off the floor. This action caused my eyes to fly open and for my arms to involuntarily wrap around the neck of the vampire who was hefting me off the stone floor.

I was unprepared for what my eyes were assaulted with. I was no stranger to the hotness that was Felix. I had been impressed by his size and over all sexiness in the throne room the first day that I had been in the castle. And yesterday he had hovered behind the doctor while I was assaulted with questions about my sexual history. He had been genuinely concerned for me when I had to discuss my previous pregnancies.

Felix even went ballistic when he thought my girls were still alive and I was being taken from them. I had to calm him down and assure him that they were quite dead and I had no one left in the world. I still don't think he bought my whole I am ready for death thing. And if I am honest with myself, I'm not so sure myself anymore.

I looked into his eyes now and the tenderness behind his ruby orbs let me know that he was hurting with me. I suddenly couldn't feel any of the pain I was in about three seconds ago. Weird, my ass had hurt; now there was nothing.

What I was totally unprepared for was this electric current that seemed to pass between us. Today was the first time that we had physical contact and it was exhilarating. I wanted to snuggle into his arms and not move. His body might be hard as a rock but he was so comfortable it was almost wrong.

He and I had formed some unspoken connection to each other in the throne room. He would wink and chuckle at me and I would do the same for him. He seemed to find the cynical bitch that lived in the recesses of my disturbed mind funny. And I was happy to oblige him if I could see that sexy one sided smirk. This connection is why I figured Aro had made Felix my baby daddy. While it confused me; I decided I didn't care. I was even excited about seeing where this connection would lead us in the next few weeks.

This thought shocked me. I hadn't felt that way about a man since my husband and if I was being honest with myself; this feeling between Felix and I was new and not something I had ever experienced with a man. And it scared me.

Felix's eyes bored into my soul and he looked just as mesmerized as I was. Interesting? Did he feel this connection too? What does this mean for our child? My last question snapped me out of my trance and I disconnected my arms from his neck and lowered my eyes to my lap.

Felix cleared his throat and sat me gently down on my bed.

"Are you sure you are fine?" He asked in a sincere voice.

I couldn't speak I just nodded my head up and down but I kept my eyes trained on my hands. I couldn't risk looking back into his eyes. I was suddenly nervous and all of the questions I had for him went out the window, so to speak. Where was the cynical bitch when I needed her?

We sat there for a couple of minutes letting the silence calm our nerves. At least I needed a minute to clear the Felix induced fog that had taken over my brain from physically touching him. What was sex going to feel like if his touching me through our clothes felt like this? Would he even be able to make love to me without killing me? The thought of making love to Felix made me shiver. Yikes, I am looking to forward to sex with a vampire too much!

"Are you cold?" Damn he must have noticed me shiver.

I risked looking up at him. He had pulled one of the table chairs in front of me and was sitting there staring at me in all his glory.

I took a moment to soak in the wonderful sight that was Felix. He had a pair of dark wash designer jeans on. And let me tell you they framed his long muscular legs very nicely. He had on a dark green sweater with a white polo on underneath it and black dress shoes that elongated his feet. And you know what they say about guys with big feet? (*wink wink*)

He had his hands in his lap and his short mahogany hair wasn't really styled as much as it was messy. It looked like he had just run his fingers through it after he got dressed and was done. I liked that. I am not into those guys who grow out there hair or those guys that think that they need to use a pound of hair gel to look good. Felix was all natural and so was I.

I didn't realize that I had been openly checking him out till I saw him smirk and cough.

"Like anything you see?" I thought for a second about his question. Of course I liked what I saw; Felix was an Adonis.

"But it doesn't really matter if I like anything or not does it?" I mumbled. I cringed after the words left my mouth; I wasn't supposed to say that out loud.

Felix lowered his eyes and gripped his hands tighter in his lap. I felt bad for my diarrhea of the mouth. I was born without the filter that connects your brain to your mouth and keeps you from saying what you think. If I think it, I say it; simple as that.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Felix's head jerked up and he looked furious. He got up from his chair and began pacing the room like he did yesterday; so fast I could hardly make out his form. I was about to tell him to slow down that the floor couldn't handle it when he came to a stop in front of me.

He looked at me for about a half a minute. I stared into his eyes not willing to break our connection. He did the soul boring thing again then growled ran his hands through his hair and started pacing again; this time a lot slower.

"Jo you should never be sorry for anything!" He looked me straight in the eyes while he said that then went back to pacing.

"You were taken from the human world and forced into a life that you didn't even know existed. These bastards think that they can use you as some sort of science experiment. I mean they already know that having a hybrid baby is possible. We learned that from the Cullen's fifteen years ago. Then we tracked down that bastard Joham that was creating hybrids in the Amazon and Aro had him killed. He let the bastards daughters go because Aro was frightened by one of their powers. I still don't know what exactly it was, but it scared the piss out of Aro.

"Aro knows all about the hybrids and what they can do; so why in the fuck he wants to create one of his own…" he let out a guttural growl that actually scared me. I felt my heart start to race and I gripped the comforter on the bed.

Even though Felix was scaring me I wasn't frightened of him. He was just angry, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from his frantic gigantic form. I knew he had to get whatever was bothering him off his chest, so I just sat there; listening.

"…is beyond me! I don't even know what the fuck we could use hybrids for that we can't just use vampires for. I mean sure they can go out in the sun, and they can blend better with humans than we can. But aside from that they are half as strong as us and they have to sleep, not to mention we are a hell of a lot faster than them.

"I just don't understand the reasoning behind using you! Go find the Amazon hybrids and investigate them if you are that curious! Don't take a perfect beautiful woman and force her to sleep with a monster and then to give her life, giving life! And if that isn't bad enough I am left to watch all of this happen without even being asked if this is what I want for you! FUCK! This is messed up!"

He continued to pace and run his hands through his hair with so much force I thought he was going to rip his hair out!

I was so shocked by what he said about me, not to mention the fact that he was so worried about me he had worked himself up into a vampire panic attack!

I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes when I remembered he had called me Jo. No one other than my father had ever called me Jo. Everyone called me Hannie. They always said that Hannie fit my explosive personality, and that Jo was too stuffy of a name for me. But I had secretly loved it when my dad called me that. When Felix called me that it registered once again that I was never going to see my mother, father, or my sisters ever again. Damn it this whole cluster fuck situation is making it harder to see the bright side of things.

My strangled sob stopped Felix in his tracks and he looked at me with shock and then compassion. He crossed the room in less than a second and knelt down in front of me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed gripping the comforter with tears spilling out of my bright green eyes.

"Oh Jo I am so sorry! I didn't mean to lay down all my worries on you," he reached up and wiped some of my tears from my cheeks. His tenderness made my tears come faster. "I wanted to come in here and get to know you a little better; you know really talk. I didn't mean to scare you even more than you already probably are!"

I don't know what came over me but I flung myself into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed into his neck.

Felix hesitated for a couple of seconds then he took a deep breath and tentatively wrapped his arms around me. I tightened my grip on his neck and started to cry in earnest. This poor guy has seen me break down in front of him twice now! He is probably going to think I am some giant crybaby.

He began to rub my back and shush me. He turned his body so that his back was against my bed and I kept my arms tight around his neck as he sat down on the floor.

"Jo its ok baby, I'm not going to let anybody hurt you." He kissed my temple and gave me a reassuring squeeze. His compassion caused a flood gate to burst open and I had to tell him everything.

I lifted my head from his neck and looked him in the eyes. He wiped my cheeks off and kissed me on the forehead. He wrapped one arm around my back and put his large hand over my combined hands in my lap. I stared at his hand over mine and began to tell my story.

I started at the beginning and left _nothing _out. I told him about how my husband and I met and all about our wedding. I even managed to squeeze in when my husband and I bought our first house and when we got our Chihuahua. I told him about my pregnancies and the birth's of each of my girls. I told him about the accident and how I had my family ripped from me too early.

When I got to bad parts he would pull me into his chest and hug me close, allowing me to just cry through the memories. He would laugh with me at the funny stories; but through it all he said nothing. He was just there, to listen and be an emotional support.

I told him things that I hadn't told Jane when we discussed my past. Like how I basically turned into a zombie after the accident. I let him know what was really going on inside of me during that time. I had kept my deep feelings out of the conversation with Jane because I didn't want to scare her, but with Felix I felt the need to divulge everything.

I told him about my escapades in Europe. I didn't tell him about every sexual encounter because after I mentioned the motorcycle god he growled and his eyes darkened in anger. I had to let him calm down before I started my story again.

When he was sufficiently calm I started where I left off and when his growl started again when I moved to the next man, I just looked at him and blushed and said, "You get the picture."

He nodded his head and hugged me a little tighter. If I wasn't mistaken I could see a little bit of jealousy in his red eyes. Interesting…jealous of a human man…that line of thought was best left for later discussion.

We spent three hours sitting on the floor of my room while I told my story. I ended with my horse ride through the country and then I gave him the details of Demetri's abduction.

If I thought he was mad before, I was sadly mistaken. When I told him about Demetri slapping me he went off the deep end. He roared; yes you heard that right he roared like a fucking lion! He carefully put me on my butt on the floor and walked out the door and shut it behind him. That is when I heard the most gut retching roar I had ever heard in my life. He might want to get a contract with Animal Planet doing lion voice over's or something.

He stood outside my door for about ten minutes calming down. I just sat there staring at the door shocked that I wasn't scared of him. I knew that he was just pissed. I mean if he wanted to hurt me he wouldn't have been so gentle removing me from his lap, right?

When he reentered the room he was more composed, but I saw a resolve in his eyes. I knew Demetri was going to get a tongue lashing, if not an ass kicking and I was very happy about the prospect of my Felix kicking his sorry ass.

We locked eyes and I giggled at him. He was even sexier when he was mad; he rolled his eyes at me and moved over to sit on my bed.

I chuckled at his crossed arms and annoyed look. It felt good to laugh. For the first time in almost a year, I felt free of my past. Not that I would ever forget it; because I couldn't. But I felt like now I could move on. Although I didn't know what I was going to move on too; my death was surer than the next full moon.

"I'm sorry you had to see me break down like that again," I looked up at Felix with a sheepish grin.

"I am not. You look cute when you cry; like your whole face is going to explode." I would have been pissed at him but that damn half smirk that he did sent a wave of fire through my bones.

I rolled my eyes and grinned at him, "I thought you were going to explode yourself there a couple of times," I giggled.

He growled and swore under his breath. I shook my head and stood up off his lap. I walked over to my antique pitcher and washed my face off; thanking God that I don't wear make-up and for water proof mascara.

When I turned around Felix was sitting on my bed staring at me. He had that same hungry look in his eyes that I couldn't place. It wasn't an, I want to suck you dry hungry, but a…well I couldn't tell you what it was. Huh, it was rare that I came across an emotion that couldn't read.

"What?" I looked at him with a quirked eyebrow.

"You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my existence."

I was taken aback by his frankness. I would have thought he would make up a lie. He cut right to what he was thinking, no reserve. I respected the fact that he trusted me as much as I did him. But then again I had no secrets anymore, so why should he. I suddenly wanted to know his story and who he was. Curiosity was going to kill me! So in typical Johannah fashion I went all out, scruples be damned.

"Seen lots of women have you?" I asked him crossing my arms over my chest trying to look intimidating.

"Thousands, both human and vampire," he said with a shrug like it meant nothing. But in his eyes I saw a tentativeness that told me he was worried about my reaction.

I had no room to talk when it came to sexual partners, but when he said thousands I almost peed myself! This man was the Hugh Hefner of the vampire world!

I coughed, "Thousands? You can't be serious."

"I am quite serious Jo. I could never lie to you. I have been promiscuous." I could see the truth in his eyes; also him challenging me to keep questioning. So I did.

"Why?" I asked walking over to the bed and grabbing my night gown.

"Why have you?" He asked in a serious face.

I laughed at his logic. Who was I to ask him about his past when mine was littered with my male conquests? It was the pot calling the kettle black.

"Don't go anywhere," I said pointing at him. He nodded at me and scooted back on the bed till he was sitting up against the headboard legs stretched out on the bed.

I stepped behind the dressing screen that Jane had brought in with the tub and changed into the old fashioned long sleeved flannel night gown. I was grateful for its warmth but it did nothing for my figure. I rolled my eyes and walked out from behind the screen.

Felix looked up at me as I was walking towards the bed and his eyes did that hungry thing again. I have got to figure out what that emotion is before it drives me crazy.

I walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled back the covers and plopped down covering my legs. I looked at the small clock on the bedside table and it said ten thirty and I was worn out. Dang, another emotional day takes it out of me.

Felix was staring at me and I could tell he was wondering what I was doing. I folded my hands in my lap and began to make a study of them. I wasn't sure how Felix was going to answer my next question and I was nervous.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to sleep alone anymore," I whispered. Felix knew that I hadn't fallen asleep next to a man since my husband died, but if he was surprised or apprehensive at my request he hid it well.

"Of course," was all his deep voice answered.

He laid his head down on the pillow next to mine. I followed his lead and snuggled down underneath the soft down blanket. I couldn't help what my body did next it was a natural reaction.

I scooted over and laid my head on his chest. He stopped breathing for a second then reached down and wrapped the cover around me tighter and pulled me closer into his side. Took a deep breath and memorized his scent, burying my face in his chest.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled, "Go to sleep Jo. I'll be here when you wake up."

"You better be," I sighed. He snorted and started playing with my long hair. I snuggled as close to him as the blanket would let me and started to drift to sleep.

Laying here with Felix gave me a hope that I didn't have before. That this situation I was in was going to get better. I was hoping and praying that this little feeling I was having was prophetic. I heard Felix start to hum and suddenly didn't want to die anymore; I wanted to live.

My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was; this is impossible, you are going to die Johannah.

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	5. Letter

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

I haven't recieved any reviews for this story...and I would really like to know what you guys think about my story! Please review for me and let me know how I am doing!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister!

Enjoy!

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_Laying here with Felix gave me a hope that I didn't have before. That this situation I was in was going to get better. I was hoping and praying that this little feeling I was having was prophetic. I heard Felix start to hum and suddenly didn't want to die anymore; I wanted to live. _

_My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was; this is impossible, you are going to die Johannah. _

When I felt myself waking up in the morning I realized that I had one of the best night's sleep in my life. But even in my morning haze of two things I was sure.

Number one; sleeping next to Felix was amazing. Number two; opening my eyes to find that he was gone, not so good.

I yawned and stretched my arms out wide to wake myself up. When my right arm brushed over Felix's pillow I came in contact with a heavy envelope.

My heart started beating faster in anticipation.

Have you ever received a letter or card from someone you were in love with? Shit, I'm in love with Felix! I'll deal with that thought later. Anyway, when you get that note you pause for a second and collect your thoughts before you open and read said note. And while you're 'collecting' your thoughts, all you can think of, "is this good or bad? Did they do something they regret? Are they confessing undying love? And, what the fuck am I supposed to do if he does?"

I sat up in bed and stared at the stone wall across from my bed. I don't know how long I sat there just staring. Call me a coward, a chicken shit, or even a pussy but I was scared that Felix was leaving me. I shivered at the thought of someone else doing the deed. I wanted Felix and no one else.

Like I said, I was falling in love with Felix. What was disturbing to me was that what I felt for him in the short three days that I had known him rivaled the love I had with my husband. I don't know how the love that I was feeling for this vampire could compare to a childhood of memories, a marriage and two children, but it defiantly was.

Maybe my situation had allowed me to open my heart to the possibility of love again. Maybe this weird ass connection I had with Felix had something to do with it?

From the moment I looked into his eyes I felt this pull towards him that I couldn't explain. And before you get worked up, it isn't just attraction. Sure Felix is smoking hot, but this pull is emotional. I feel like I need to be near him, making him happy and taking care of him. Like he was very important to me; I just couldn't figure out why!

And I had a feeling that he could feel it too; evidenced by that hungry-ish look on his face that I see at the weirdest moments. Not to mention the freaking tirade that he had in this room last night. I mean he went off the deep end over my (*cough*) situation. Just the words that flew out of his mouth while he was pacing, spoke of a kind of tenderness and caring that was more than likely unheard of between a vampire and a human. He even stayed the night with me! That has to say something about his feelings. I mean, Jane said that just being around a human made a vampire's throat burn and that touching them for long periods of time was practically unheard of.

The fucked up situation I currently found myself in, was vastly approaching the, 'Luke, I am your father' type of fucked up! I groaned and buried my head in my hands.

I took a deep breath to clear my head and realized that I was getting worked up for no reason. I hadn't even read the damn letter yet!

Rolling my eyes at my own stupidity, I reached behind me and grabbed the reason for my freak attack to read it.

As I held it I marveled at the texture of the old paper. It felt like some kind of ancient parchment. Like something you would see on a writing desk in the eighteenth century.

Around the letter was a really thick envelope with my name written in brilliant script. I ran my hand over the smooth black ink of my name. The opening was sealed with wax that had an indention of a crescent moon.

I snorted. In all my days of lying around reading the works of Austen, Gaskell, Dickenson, and even fucking Harry Potter, I never thought I would be getting a parchment letter with a wax sealed envelope. Damn this place was strange.

Strange yes; but why was I so excited? I guess I have either spent too much time in fairy vampire land or I was just as strange as these freaks!

I cracked open the envelope and pulled out five pieces of paper folded neatly to fit into the envelope. As I marveled at his beautiful handwriting I wondered when he was able to write this long ass letter. I must have been out like a light, or he was really good at sneaking out without waking me up.

I looked at the clock on the table and it said five AM. Great I still had three hours in this damn bed before the doc gets here to check my temp.

I sighed and started reading a little pissed that I was alone this morning; I was totally not expecting the tears that started due to his words.

_Dearest Jo,_

_I am sorry for not being there this morning when you woke up. I know I promised you I would be there, and I don't want you to think that I would ever break a promise to you; but the ass munch came in the early hours of the morning and advised me that I was needed for a special mission for Aro and that we would be leaving at daylight. I am sorry my dear but I will be gone for about three days. _

I moaned; I didn't want him to leave! I was planning to get to know him before the deed was done! How was I supposed to learn about his life and who he was if he wasn't here! I threw myself back down onto my pillow and sobbed. I hated being such a damn baby but I was beginning to depend on the safety of his presence and I was not happy with this, no contact with Felix for three days, shit! I wiped the tears from my eyes turned myself onto my back and kept reading. This was going to be a long ass three days!

_I am not happy about leaving you unprotected, but Jane assured me that she wouldn't let anything happen to you. I couldn't leave knowing that you weren't at least protected, and her little gift insures that no one will mess with you. _

My heart leapt at the fact that he was worried about me. And I knew Jane wouldn't let anyone mess with me, she was my baby girl. I hungrily kept reading.

_I can see the love she has for you in her eyes; she is not the same little girl that she was. In fact I don't think I have ever seen her act like the little girl that she truly is; it is refreshing to see her skipping and singing around the castle. She might not look like it but she can be intimidating when she wants to be. Not to mention her gift hurts like hell!_

I laughed out loud imagining giant six foot something Felix cowering on the ground in front of little five foot Janie! Though I was going to have to tell her not to use her gift on Felix anymore; it just didn't sit right that someone could hurt him. He seemed indestructible. I growled at the thought of him in pain. Yeah Jane and I were going to have a little talk. Back to reading

_Once again I am sincerely sorry that I couldn't be there to see you wake up this morning. Watching you sleep last night was the one of the single most enjoyable things I have done since I woke up to this life. I know that sounds really creepy; but what can I say I am a vampire and we do creepy really well. _

_I haven't spent a lot of time around humans seeing as they are our food source. Sorry sweetheart, but it is true. I was worried last night when you asked me to stay that I wouldn't be able to control my thirst around you. But soon after you fell asleep and I saw how peaceful you looked in my arms I realized I could never hurt you. I couldn't live with myself if something ever happened to you because of my lack of control. _

I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "Well asshole your freaky boss has already sealed my fate, so I seriously doubt you getting a jumpstart would piss anyone off!"

_Before you go all sarcastic on me, _(I laughed out loud, he knew me well!) _I understand that your fate is sealed because of the morbid curiosity of my boss, but that isn't going to stop me from protecting you while I can. I already hate myself for a future that hasn't happened yet. So please Love, just enjoy your time with Jane; if not for yourself than for me. _

At this point I was crying again. His concern for me was palpable; I could feel it jumping off of the paper. Not to mention he called me love. Just the realization of that had me on my knees bouncing in anticipation of what he was going to say next. I know I sound like a teenage girl, but getting a letter from someone you love brings out the giddy girl in you. I kept on reading through the blur of my tears.

_I don't know how much Jane has told you about vampires. I know that she has told you a lot. Some of which I would have spared you from knowing. But Jane is Jane and can't be shut up once she gets going. _

I giggled; that was so true! Yesterday during breakfast that girl babbled and babbled. I enjoyed her chatter because I was lonely and she is a teenager and I gave her a break; but too much of that side of Jane would wear on me fast. Not that I would stop loving her; that was not possible, but because I was human and headaches were very possible.

_One important thing that I would like you to understand about vampires is that we are constant creatures. When our change happens and we are reborn into this life we are frozen in time. We are left for an eternity at that age, size and mind set. Sure our brains increase in capacity but we are frozen physically and emotionally. Being stuck at a certain point in your life doesn't make for much change. We keep our current likes and dislikes, we just expound on them. Change rarely happens but when it does we are completely and irrevocably changed forever. _

I sucked in a deep breath. I couldn't imagine being stuck at any stage in life. One of the beautiful things in life is that we grow and we learn. Our mistakes guide us to be better people; our successes keep us striving and reaching for more.

I thought back to Jane and the horrible conflicting emotions she must go through on a daily basis. When you are a teenager there are so many hormones racing through your system that you can't possibly think straight. One minute you are a kid the next an adult; that poor baby. I wiped my eyes because the tears were becoming a nuisance and went back to reading.

_I was changed when I was twenty eight. I was born Felix Alric Muller in what is now Germany in 1820. At that time Germany was separate nation states after the Holy Roman Empire dissolved. The spirit of revolution was spreading through Europe, and the need for civil liberties and the desire to be represented in government was strong. I yearned to get involved in the unification movement; I wanted to make a difference in my country and for my people but in the end that would be to my detriment. _

_My father was the overseer for a large estate; we weren't rich by any means but we weren't poor either. I was the oldest of seven children to Max and Sara Muller. There were six boys; Klaus, Maximilian, Sven, Lukas, Dominic and my youngest sister, Sophie. My father oversaw a very spacious and large farming estate for a wealthy noble man on the outskirts of Rothenberg. My days were spent at school or in the fields. I was being trained to take over for my father some day. _

_Even though we were part of the upper middle class my father believed in hard work and earning your keep. I was allowed to go to school and be educated but my back was no stranger to the plow shares. The tenant farmers under my father respected that he instilled a good work ethic in his sons, and they were good to him for it. _

I smiled at the thought of all of those brothers. His poor mother had her hands full with six boys! I had two little girls and I was overwhelmed at times. I giggled at the thought of a little Felix. He had to be a cute kid. His sister was very lucky; I always wanted a brother.

I tried not to think about the fact that Felix was over two hundred years old, and focus on picturing his life and what he must have been like back then. I shiver ran down my spine at the fact that by loving him I was literally robbing the grave. Yikes!

_I was content with my life, for a time. I didn't mind the hard work and my brothers were great to be around. I miss them more and more every day. I enjoyed school and was even excelling in it. Even though I was happy I wanted a purpose in my life. I didn't want to live my life as an overseer; I wanted to make a difference. _

_I read the works of Voltaire, John Locke and Thomas Paine and became fascinated by politics. These revolutions and unifications were catching on like wild fire. It seemed by breaking ties from the British the Americans had started a trend that couldn't be contained. And when German speaking nations started talking about joining our nations I was ready and willing to do whatever necessary to help. One nation would be stronger than many separate nations. _

_In the beginning of my wayward desires my father couldn't spare me. I had graduated from school and was working as my father's apprentice. I was the oldest and my father needed my help until one of my brothers was old enough to take over my work. But as time went on the combination of better farming technology and my brothers being able to take on more of my responsibilities I could be spared. My father wanted me to follow my dreams and not be forced into a life that he loved. My brother Klaus showed great interest in taking over for my father so I was able to go. _

_I left home at twenty and I will never forget the look on my mother's face. It was a mixture of pride and intense sadness. I was the first Muller to leave the farm, and she wanted me to forget all of this greater good nonsense get married and give her grandchildren. But that was not my dream. I wanted to go to Berlin and be at the center of the unification movement. _

_My father was able to give me a sum of money to get me started but he couldn't spare much for my travels. I understood and the work ethic he had instilled in me kicked in; I would work my way to Berlin. I traveled for a while, working where I could and saving any money that I did make. I traveled into Prussia and I worked in Bonn, Frankfurt, Wiesbaden, and on some outlaying towns until I had enough to travel to Berlin. I spent a lot of time in libraries and in government buildings. I had an intense desire to learn so I soaked up as much knowledge as I could. _

_When I finally reached Berlin I was twenty five and eager for some action. There had been rumors of war starting with the French and then possibly the Dutch and I was eager for a fight, political uprising, or any action at all; though killing a human being wasn't something I had thought I could do. _

I growled and silently prayed that his desire for a fight had died with his human body. I certainly didn't need him running off to fight vampire wars or whatever the hell they fought in right now. I was going to be selfish; I needed him here damn it. I calmed myself down and continued reading.

_I kept in touch with my family and made sure they knew what I was doing. My mother was constant in her letters and shared with me the marriages of my three oldest brothers and of my new nieces and nephews. My two twin baby brothers Lukas and Dominic decided to go to medical school and my parents couldn't have been prouder. My sister had fallen in love with the son of the estate my father oversaw and after a huge scandal due to their romance, they were married and my baby sister was to be the Mistress of an estate. _

I laughed about what the scandal could have been. Today having a baby out of wedlock was a normal everyday thing and socially accepted in many countries; but it made me laugh out loud to think that the daughter of an overseer and an estate owner's son falling in love would have been considered a scandal! This was proof that money was at the heart of a lot of shit, even back then. I shook my head and kept reading.

_I am proud to say that in 1848 I was right there in the heart of the Berlin and the March Revolution; even if it lead to my demise. I was enthralled to be marching through the streets with my flag for a cause. I had proudly waved the new flag representing the German Republic that we wanted to form. _

_Our demonstrations were peaceful at first but on March eightieth all hell broke loose; literally. I was walking down a side street that day when I heard two shots fired. I don't know if they ever figured out what side fired those shots but it didn't matter. _

I guess a lot of battles are begun without knowing who fired the first shot.

_There was violence rampant in the streets and the soldiers were called in to calm things down. All their presence seemed to do was cause more violence and I didn't want any part of the senseless killing that was taking part all around me. I thought I could handle the repercussions of going against an established government, but the blood that flowed in the streets was almost too much to handle. I saw death everywhere and I was totally unprepared for the rage that began to grow in me. I had come to Berlin to peacefully aid in the unification process; not kill those with differing opinions. _

_I started running towards the outskirts of the city trying to escape the uprising, but to my determent I took a back alley that contained a vampire who had come into the city when he smelt the blood in the streets. Traditional vampires tend to take advantage of things like war and gang violence to feed. They can cover their tracks better during the chaos of war or senseless violence. _

I shivered thinking about how many people's sons and daughters had been drained dry of their blood during the many wars that our world has seen. If it wasn't bad enough that your family member gave their life for their country they were treated as a meal for hideous creatures. My stomach rolled thinking about people like my father and grandfather who had been in wars. How close had they come to a vampire? Yikes!

_He was feeding off of a wounded soldier and must have heard me approach him. He turned to face me and I saw his ruby eyes and blood on his teeth when he snarled at me. He threw his victim down, who was quite dead at this point, and started for me. I started to back out of the alley and he raced at me grabbed me by the neck lifting me off of the ground about two feet. As you have probably noticed I am a big guy and I was in shock that someone of his small stature had this kind of inhuman strength. He leaned in towards my throat and I must have blacked out from lack of oxygen because I am still not sure what happened but the next thing I knew the fire was spreading and there was no way to stop it._

At this point I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Felix was just trying to make a difference in his part of the world and he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He had to leave his family his friends and his cause all because some sick fuck leech was pissed at him for interrupting his meal. Damn it! I sobbed for the man I was beginning to love and the life he was robbed of.

Sure I realized that if he hadn't been changed Darth Frodo would probably be the one to knock me up and I wouldn't know him, but taking a life is never an option. When I calmed down I started reading some more.

_I had never felt a pain like that in all of my life. It feels like you are on fire but you don't get the relief of death. I laid there screaming for a while; I don't know the exact time, when Demetri found me. He was patrolling for the Volturi and recognized my screams. He carried me to a cabin in the Black Forrest and I burned there for three days. When I awoke Demetri told me what I was and offered to teach me and give me a home in Italy. When I awoke all I cared about was blood and quenching my thirst, so there wasn't much talking going on my part. He took me hunting and after I was full I asked him about my family and what I was supposed to do now. _

_He told me that he would send a letter to my parents telling them that I was killed in the uprising; which is the truth, and that I _was_ never to see them if I wanted them to stay alive. To say that I was hurt is an understatement. I let the pain of separation affect me for about an hour; not moving at all. Then I got up and turned all of my hatred for the son of a bitch who changed me inward. I was not a nice person to be around for, oh, about two hundred years. It wasn't until I met you that I let some of that inner hatred go; and even now as I am writing this I feel freer than I have since that day. _

Poor Felix, what a way to be told about this life! No pre-warning, no smooth transition one day you are alive and the next a vampire. I cried for him; because I know he can't now. I also cried for myself and how I was able to help him out; even if it isn't much, my being here changed his life for the better. Damn!

_STOP CRYING LOVE!_

I laughed he had written that in big capital letters.

_Demetri took me back here and I met Aro and his brothers. Aro was impressed with my size and strength and I was honored to be serving the" royalty" of the vampire world. _(I loved his quotation makes around royalty; smart ass!) _They asked me to stay and I have been here ever since. I felt no desire to leave and I felt proud of what I could do here. I might not be totally at peace with this existence, and taking human life still makes me feel awful, but I do it to survive._

_The day that you were brought into the castle and I saw you laying crumpled on the floor of the throne room I felt drawn to you. I don't know if it was your scent or your sweet face, but you pulled me in. You were so beautiful. I wanted to reach out and touch your hair and it was killing me that I couldn't tell what color eyes you had. I sat there with you for six hours till you woke up. If you can believe it you were even more beautiful awake than you were asleep. _

I was sure that my heart was going to race out of my chest at any moment and that I was going to flood this room with my tears. I kept going to see what else he felt that day, because I was mesmerized by him the instant I saw him.

_It wasn't until you asked me if you looked ok that I realized what awful shape you were in. I love your ability to be a smart ass even when facing death; you had my dead heart soaring when you bantered back with me. I was about to help you off the ground when you told me that Demetri had slapped you. _

_I know now the emotion that drove me to go and kick his ass, but at the time I was so furious that he touched you like that I couldn't be around you. I was afraid for your safety when I was that worked up. I apologize for leaving you in that condition, but I had matters to attend to._

I started chanting, "Please tell me you kicked his ass!"Over and over again!

_That is one ass kicking he will never forget. _

I was jumping up and down on my bed doing the Phoebe from Friends, Wahoo whoooooooo! Once I calmed down I kept on reading, this time with a little bounce in my butt!

_By the time I calmed down Aro was calling us into the throne room. I walked in and took my place behind the thrones. I will never forget the way you stood up and circled the room. Chris Farley in Beverly Hills' Ninja has got nothing on your skills. I was trying so hard not to laugh. _

_I swear to you I had no idea what Aro was going to tell you. If I would have known I would have taken you from the throne room and run as far and fast as I could. He shocked me with his plans, but I would be lying if the monster in me didn't rejoice when he said I was to be the one to make love to you. _

I was bouncing pretty hard by now; the damn doc is going to be pissed at me when he comes in because my temp is going to be through the fucking roof.

_When you locked eyes with me after the sentencing I couldn't break contact. I was scared that you would do something to hurt yourself or worse you would die from exhaustion and shock. I hated seeing you cry and not be able to comfort you. I wanted so bad to wrap my arms around you and make everything go away. _

I was crying silent tears now but they were coming fast and hard.

_Do you remember at the beginning of this letter when I told you that vampires don't change very often but when they do it is permanent? Well the moment I saw you; you left a mark on me. There will never be another woman on this earth that will touch me the way that you did in an instant. _

_I was intrigued by your ability to smart off to a man you knew was a vampire. I was attracted not only to your body but the bravery of your spirit and the purity of your soul. Every day I have been with you and spent time with you I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with you. _

_I know it may be too soon to tell you this, but baby, time is a luxury we don't have. I wish I could be there telling you how much I love you and want you in person but I can't, so I thought I would write what my silent heart is screaming into my head._

_When a vampire finds its mate their existence revolves around that person. I never thought I would find a mate. I have lived for two hundred years and yes I have been attracted to women, but they were just a means to an end. Human women were a challenge to see if I could do it without killing them; once I succeeded I would kill them anyway. And vampire women were just to satisfy the urge. I am sorry that I am being so blunt but I believe that you are the type of woman to see past my faults and hopefully love me anyway. _

I sobbed, "Oh Felix! I do love you; you stupid son of a bitch!" What man, vampire or not, tells the women he loves about his past sexual exploits during his love speech! Dumb sweet bastard!

_Because I do love you with every dead fiber of my being; you are my mate in every way. I hope that when I get back from this trip that we can really get to know each other and I can make you see how much I love you. I also have some things I want to give you to consider before we go through with this. _

_I can't lose you Jo! I am not just saying that either. It is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done, in both lives, to leave you today. Please be safe and don't piss anyone off. Don't roll your eyes at me vampires are not the most patient or forgiving creatures and I don't want to have to kill anyone when I get back. And I will if they touch a hair on your head._

_Jane is going hunting right now and will be in with the doctor. She has orders from me not to leave your side even when you are asleep. Humor me and let her hover. She loves you and because of that I trust her with your life. She won't let anyone touch you. _

Well that was a little overdramatic! And I don't piss people off! Ok that is a lie, I piss a lot of people off but they deserve it!

_I don't know why I am sharing this with you in a letter, but I just couldn't leave without you knowing something about me; and how much you mean to me. I don't want to waste any of our time; I want to savor every minute with you. I am going to demand that I be left at the castle after this mission; being away from you is just too painful. And I am afraid the worry might just kill me; however impossible that might sound to walk out again. _

_Eat and take care of yourself; if you need anything just ask Jane. And when all else fails, shut the hell up baby. _

_I love you Johannah, more that you will ever know or realize. _

_Be safe my love, _

_Felix_

_P.S. Lift up your pillow!_

I jumped up and ripped my pillow off my bed. Under my pillow was a small silver cell phone.

I was shaking as I picked it up; I looked it over and realized that it wasn't a cell phone but a one way texting device. I had seen these before. They are like long distance texting walkie talkies.

I squealed and typed as fast as my fingers would go.

_You bastard! I love you too! Jo_

I waited for the thing to vibrate or ring or something. It seemed like an hour went by when the fucking thing started vibrating in my hand.

_Welcome, love you! Did you just wake up? X_

I rolled my eyes; leave it to me to fall in love with the sarcastic vamp!

_No stupid, I have been up reading your amazing letter! Ricky you got some s'plaining to do! __Jo_

_Should I be worried? X_

_Only if you want a human hanging all over you __Jo_

_Depends…is she cute? X_

_She is sexy as hell! Jo_

_Well then I don't mind then! Have you eaten yet? X_

I rolled my eyes; he was going to be worse than a momma bear.

_Look at your watch freak! It's not 8, Jane will be in then with the Doc. Jo_

_Be careful if he touches you wrong or freaks you out tell Jane. X_

I groaned, he is really worried about a human? The one person in here whose ass I could kick and he is worried about him! Besides the doc is nice, scared shitless, but nice.

_Are you serious? Jo_

_Deadly so! X_

_Geesh, babe he is a HUMAN I can at least protect myself from him! Not that he would do anything! Jo_

I could imagine the growling that he was doing right now; wherever he is.

_Humor me please sweetheart….X_

I huffed; this was going to be like dealing with an overprotective pit bull.

_Yes daddy! Jo_

_Ohhh call me that again! X_

_Mmm Daddy…. Jo_

_Ug I don't know if I can wait 3 days! X_

_Me neither…I miss you so much…Jo_

_I miss you too baby, but I will be back soon. I have 2 go but I will text again when I am free. I Love you baby. X_

_Love you too! Jo_

I sighed and felt my heart break. I hate that he couldn't text me all day. But I guess he was on a mission for the giant dick so I would have to share him. I wasn't happy about it but I would share him… I guess.

I collapsed back on the bed and I looked over at the clock on my bedside table; seven AM. Damn I still have an hour before the doc gets here and my Janie. I looked up at the stone ceiling and felt exhaustion starting to creep up. I was getting tired but it wasn't going to be enough to put me out; I was so keyed up from Felix's letter, not to mention the fact that I got to talk to him.

I looked back down at my hands one had the letter that he had taken the time to write me. And the other held my link to him while he was gone; I realized it could have been a real cell phone and I don't think I would have called home or the FBI or anything.

I know that sounds jacked up but I felt content and like this is where I belonged. I didn't want to go back to a life without Felix. Just the thought of that had a ghost of a giant hole forming in my chest. I knew I couldn't bear to be away from him again.

I groaned and rolled over; this was going to be a long ass three days, even with Jane to keep me company.

I closed my eyes and went back over the letter and the beautiful things he said to me. I laughed when I recalled our recent text battle. I got myself a spit fire in that vampire.

Of two things I was sure: One, that I was scared shitless to die, and two, that I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Felix.

God help me…

* * *

Thank you for continuing with me!

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Keep on Keepin ON!


	6. Legends

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really like to know what you guys think about my story! Please keep reviewing if you already have and if you haven't let me know how I am doing!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister! I am honored that you took time out of writing your Thesis to Beta my little story! YOU ROCK!

Enjoy!

* * *

_Of two things I was sure: One, that I was scared shitless to die, and two, that I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Felix. _

_God help me… _

Jane was in with the Doc that morning just like Felix had said. Her eyes were a deep red from her hunting trip and I tried not to shiver at the prospect of her killing an innocent human. I don't think I would ever get used to this whole vampire shit.

"Good morning Hannie!" she chirped bouncing in on the balls of her feet.

"Morning sweetheart," I grinned at her and waited for the Doc to take my temp. I noticed that she was holding my breakfast tray and I was starving; my stomach growled loudly in agreement.

Jane giggled at my feral stomach noises as the Doc took my temperature.

I looked over the Doc when he came in and noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He must not be getting much sleep.

"Hey Doc," I smiled up at him as he took a seat next to me.

"Good morning Johannah," he gave me half smile but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You doin ok?" I put a hand on his bicep to reassure him.

"Oh about as good as can be expected," he shrugged off. I felt so sorry for him; I couldn't help but wonder what had he lost?

"What happened?" Damn my broken brain to mouth filter! I had just thought that and now it was cascading out of my big mouth. I was mentally kicking myself in the ass when I saw his eyes tear up.

"I was vacationing here. Italy was my wife's favorite vacation destination."

"Was?" Grr shut the fuck up Jo!

He sniffed, "Yeah, she passed away about three months ago from breast cancer."

I was stunned to hear about his wife. I felt my eyes well up with tears and a kindred spirit form between us. "If it helps; I understand."

"Oh, Johannah; I am so sorry that this is happening to you! I don't necessarily care about what happens to me; but you are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you," he moaned into his hands.

I was touched by his compassion for me; but there was no way in hell he was going to lose anymore sleep over me. I was content with my life at the moment and he had to know that. I put my hand on his wrist and tried to quite his sobs, "Shh, Doc it's ok. I know it sounds warped but I am actually happy here."

The Doc's head whipped up out of his hands, and he glared at me with an intensity that I hadn't ever seen from him. "How can you say that Hannie? Weren't you paying attention when they explained what they wanted to do with you! I mean, its sick to use a woman as a breeding tool for monsters."

I sighed and looked back at Jane who I thought would be offended by Doc calling them monsters but she just nodded her head with a sad look in her eyes and fell on to the settee. I sighed and prayed that my words would comfort the occupants of the room.

"Doc I haven't been right since I lost my family. I spent a lot of time wishing that death would find me so I could join my loves in heaven. I don't understand why I was chosen; or even why Aro would want to create a hybrid baby. From what I understand there are plenty out there if he wants to make a study of them. But all that doesn't matter because I am actually happy again for the first time in ten months."

The Doc's mouth fell open and his eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of their sockets. I gave him a small timid smile and soldiered on.

"I didn't think I was ever going to fall in love again; but one look at Felix is all it took. I know it sounds crazy; love at first sight and all, but I have _never_ felt this way about a man, including my husband. Felix told me that vampire's mate for life and I was his mate," I could see him moving to say something, so I cut him off.

"Before you say that he was lying to sucker me in; I believe him. I feel it too; this connection is something that I can't deny. I love him and I trust him. I love Jane like a daughter and I am going to be strong through all of this. I don't really have any other option but to be strong.

I think Felix is already planning on how to thwart this somehow and I know he will do anything to protect me. Please don't make yourself sick over my situation. I am content." I tried to give him my best smile but he still looked at me with unease.

When he finally broke out of his thoughts he sighed, "I can't stop this, but as a physician I am going to do all I can to protect you. I am going to talk to," he choked, "Aro and have him tell me what he knows of these half vampire hybrid pregnancies and births. I will try to make you as comfortable as I can during your pregnancy. And for the next ten days till you ovulate; I want you to eat hearty and get as much sleep as possible."

I winked at him and nodded in my most sarcastic voice cooed, "Yes, Doctor."

He genuinely grinned for the first time and rolled his eyes at me as he took out his thermometer.

Once again I was a healthy ninety eight point six. Don't ask me how! My little fit while reading Felix's letter should have made my temp spike but I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

After the Doc was done with his exam he kissed me on the forehead like a father would to his adult daughter and fled from the room. I was touched by his action and I could feel the tears that seemed to never leave my eyes return. Then something struck me.

"I don't even know his name!" I gasped as Jane organized my breakfast on the table.

"I don't either. I don't think he wants to make connections here," Jane whispered.

I nodded my head and couldn't fault his logic; I guess he would just have to be Doc till…well I wasn't going to think about that.

I stretched my arms above my head and jumped off my bed. The stone floor was cold and I paddled over to the table so that I could sit with my feet on the chair under my nightgown. My mother would be pissed right now if she saw how I was sitting at the table. Sure I was being held hostage but I could just see my hillbilly southern mama yelling, "That doesn't give you a right, Johannah Faith, to act like you were raised in a dad-gum barn!" I giggled to myself and Jane gave me a quirked eyebrow look as she took her seat across from me.

"What?" she asked with a grin forming on her lips.

I laughed out loud and proceeded to tell her about my parents, siblings and their 'backwoods' ways. She was rolling on the floor when I told her about the great skunk attack of 2015. I was fifteen years old and my sister found a litter of baby skunks in our barn and instead of letting our dog have at them she fed the damn things. It was funny to see four little skunks following her around like their mama. Everything was fine for about three days and then the mama came back and went ape shit on everyone.

She started spraying and then her lovely children, whom Georgia thought of as her own, started spraying anything that moved. We were running around our yard like crazy people trying to get away from five deranged skunks. My daddy finally let the coon dogs loose on them and they ran them off. My entire family took tomato baths for a week and the last time I checked my parent's barn still had a faint skunk-y odor. My mother gave Georgia a butt chewing that I will never forget and none of us ever brought home wild animals again.

I shared more childhood memories and realized that I could talk about them without so much pain anymore. I guess I was coming to grips with the whole death thing, though I was secretly hoping that Felix had come up with a plan.

Jane stayed through breakfast and lunch. Just like my overgrown over protective vampire had said she would.

I took a quick bath behind my modesty screen while Jane sat there and talked to me. I rolled my eyes when I asked her if she had anything to do while I took a bath, and she proceeded to tell me, "Jo I am supposed to say with you till Felix gets back. If I leave, even for a second, he will murder me!"

"Oh I think your little power would make it impossible for him to touch you," I grinned popping my head out from the screen.

Jane giggled, "You didn't see his face when he threatened me Jo. Somehow I don't think even my power would stop him from defending you!"

"GEESH!"

"Give him a break Jo, he loves you and that is a new feeling for him. I will admit he is being a tad over protective but he just wants you safe."

I rolled my eyes and hopped into the bath cleansing and shaving the necessary parts. When I was done Jane had another dress for me to wear. I got dressed in the off white sweater dress and brown leggings.

I didn't bother to put on makeup; instead I just brushed through my hair and jumped onto my newly made bed. I stretched out and stared at the ceiling. I vaguely remember Jane asking me if I would like her to read to me. I must have nodded because she started reading in her sing song voice.

It was hard to concentrate on anything except Felix and that damn texting phone. That silver thing was my only connection to the man I loved more than I should. I felt lost without him here and I didn't understand why; I had only met him four days ago.

I was a damn independent woman. And I was proud of that. I mean I had traveled all over Europe by myself. I had been careful to guard my heart because the last time I gave it away, well, you remember. And now I was hopelessly waiting for contact from a perfect stranger that I had fallen head over fucking heels in love with. Damn this is messed up!

In the past ten months I had been very guarded on how much I let people get to know me, and this whole thing with Felix and Jane was way past my comfort zone. I refused to let myself think to logically about what was going on between Felix and me and decided to just go with the flow.

I tend to over think things sometimes and talk myself out of a good time. Since I had left the States I prided myself on the fact that logical Johannah had been left in Missouri. I was able to have a good time and not think about the consequences. But now lying on my bed listening to Jane read out loud from Jane Eyre, I started to think about how screwed up this whole situation was.

I was going over in detail the reasons for my being here and all the details that my mind had somehow subconsciously absorbed since Demetri-the-fuck-face nabbed me from the ally.

I was especially going over all of the information I had learned about this Cullen family. I know they had a hybrid baby in their coven; that is what Jane said a group of vampires is called. But as to the situation of the baby's birth, I was clueless. I know that they are what Jane called yellow eyed freaks. I asked her why they had yellow eyes and she said they only fed off of the blood of animals. I was impressed that a vampire could do that. The way Jane had described the blood lust it was almost impossible not to feed on a human once you get close, which makes me being close to Jane and Felix all the more precarious.

I was going to do some serious talking with Jane and the Doc over the next couple of days. And when Felix gets back I am going to have him explain all he knows about the Cullen family.

My stomach clenched at the thought of being back with Felix; my body's reaction brought me to the main question that I had been avoiding since the first time I saw him in the throne room.

How in the HELL can I love Felix this much when I have hardly been alone with him? I mean sure he sat with me till I came too after fuck face abducted me, and sure he had been here with the Doc during my first exam and he even spent the night with me, but that doesn't mean I know him. I had his letter and that helped; but I couldn't get past the fact that he probably knew more about me than I did about him.

After I had broken down in his arms I poured my life story out to him. I hadn't left anything out; sure I couldn't tell him everything that I had done since birth, but he knew more of my stories than I did of his.

I was curious how much he remembered about growing up in Germany. I wanted to know all about his brothers and sister, and if he kept up with their lives after he was brought here. I wanted to soak up all the information about my giant sexy man that I could. I wanted to feel like we really knew each other before we made love.

And that is what it would be with Felix. I wouldn't just be having sex with him; no, I would be making love to the man that I was deeply in love with for the sole purposes of creating life. A life that I wouldn't get to be a part of.

I felt a couple of stray tears slide down my cheek and I rolled over with my back to Jane, I didn't want her to see me crying.

I laid there and dwelled on the fact that I wouldn't be there for our baby's first smile, or first steps, their first word, or the first time they say, "I love you." I wanted so much to be a parent to this baby that it was physically making me sick.

I stilled my breathing, closed my eyes and focused on an image of Felix's face. I couldn't worry about my child right now; I would let Felix take care of me. I knew he would protect us.

I must have fallen asleep while Jane was reading, because I was woken up by my Felix phone vibrating.

My head shot up and I heard Jane giggle from the settee. My hair must look like a rats nest. I rolled my eyes at her and muttered, "Shut it." This only served to make her laugh harder and louder. I couldn't help but crack a smile when I saw her little body shaking with laughter and her high soprano giggles fill the room. This is what she should be doing all the time; she was a teenager after all.

I winked at her and she threw her legs up on the settee leaned back and brought her book up in front of her face. I shook my head at her giving me 'privacy' so I could text Felix. I picked up the texting device and slid the screen up to lighten the keys. I smiled at what he wrote.

_Going to kill fuck face! X_

_Please do, I hate that rat bastard! But he did bring me to you, so….Jo_

_I guess I won't kill him then…but do you think he will miss a limb? X_

I giggled. _Lol, I miss you! How is the trip? Jo_

_Oh just terrific! Spending time with Demetri is like being trapped in a room with a rabid dog. He has no couth or tact and this mission defiantly requires it. X_

I furrowed my brows and realized that he never told me what he was doing on this 'mission.'

_What __**are**__ you doing? Jo_

_Umm just routine stuff for Aro…X _

There was something he wasn't telling me and it either must be bad or he was sworn to secrecy.

_You're not going to tell me are you? Jo _

_I don't want to burden you with our lifestyle baby…it is nothing to worry about and if we hurry I might get home tomorrow night! X_

I squealed and Jane snickered and lifted her head so just her eyes came out from behind her book. I stuck my tongue out at her and went back to texting.

_Please hurry! Jo_

_I will try love! How was the Doc visit this morning? X _I rolled my eyes; worry wart.

_Fine, the Doc said he was going to pimp Aro for more info on the Cullen baby and hybrid pregnancies and births. He said he wants to be prepared….Jo_

_I am sorry baby…but that is a good idea. I know the general idea of the birth but Aro would have firsthand knowledge of the finer aspects of Bella's pregnancy and Renesmee's birth. X_

_Ohhh…you will explain what you can when you get home won't you? Jo_ I wanted to know everything I could. I would never admit it to Felix but I was scared.

_Yes baby I will do my best, but I don't know all the details….we might get more info from Doc…X_

_All right…I miss you…Jo_

I felt like a giant baby or a twelve year old little girl that tells her boyfriend she misses him when they know they will see each other at school the next day. But I couldn't help it; my chest was actually hurting because he wasn't here.

_I miss you too sweetheart, but I will be back before you know it and I won't leave again. X_

_I know…it just hurts…Jo_

_I promise I will be back soon… I need to go so that we can get this trip over with…if we hurry I will slip in bed with you tomorrow night! X_

The thought of Felix in my bed with me made me shiver. A lot had changed since he was there last. I wasn't so sure I wanted to wait ten more days before we…you know! *smirk* I groaned just thinking about all of the things I wanted to do; both to and with Felix.

I must have went off into my own perverted little world because my mind was quickly taken out of the gutter when the text thingy vibrated again.

_Jo? Honey? X_

I blushed and typed, _Sorry my mind went off track when you said bed…Jo_

_You dirty girl…I didn't know you had it in you…X _

Well two can play at that game sir!

_Umm… you have no idea…I have a lot in me but you have to come and get it first…..Jo_

I giggled because I could just hear his deep chest growl.

_I am going to ignore that…if I don't I am going to have to come home NOW! I really do have to go baby…I love you! X_

_I love you too Felix! Jo_

_Sleep well love…X_

_Night…Jo_

I sighed and flopped back down on the bed. I felt like crying again. I hated this damn trip. What the heck could Aro want them to do that was so damn important? When I thought about my current predicament I realized there was no telling what the old fool was doing; he was fucking crazy!

"You ok, Jo?" Jane asked me with a sly grin on her face. Then she winked at me!

I rolled my eyes typical teenager and their love sickness. Who knows what hundreds of years of reading romance novels will do to your idea of romance and love? Not to mention the fact that there is some kind of freaky love at first sight penguin mate for life crap going on in the vampire world. This world is not all it is cracked up to be. If vampires are real, what else is out there?

Before I let my mind wonder to werewolves, magic, dragons and fairies I realized I had a legend in my room, why not ask her!

"Jane, do you mind if I ask you a question?" I asked her sitting up against my headboard crossing my ankles.

"No Jo you can ask me anything! I can't guarantee that I know all the answers but I will try." She put her book down on her lap and looked up at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath and mumbled, "Well I was just wondering, if vampires are real…what else is?" I looked up at her with a bashful, yet hopeful smirk on my face. I really wanted to know and I had a feeling she could answer this one.

"Well that is an easy one!" she laughed at me. I sat up straighter in the bed ready to hear what else there was out there. This must have been what it felt like for Harry Potter when Hagrid was telling him that he was a wizard; imagine living in a world and not realizing all the shit that is really out there. Now I was going to know.

Jane had spent a lot of time telling me all about vampires and discounting some myths while proving others. Now, I guess since the cat was out of the bag on the whole vampire thing there was no going back; damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!

Jane giggled at me and rolled her eyes, "It is not going to be as exciting as you think Jo."

"Yeah right, I'm sitting in the same room with a vampire! There has to be lots of fantastically cool stuff out there!" The fantasy nerd in me was jumping up and down wanting to know if Yoda was real… down girl!

She rolled her eyes again and proceeded, "Well, there are werewolves."

"WHAT?" I shrieked. I know you are asking yourself, 'Why the fuck is she so surprised she is in love with a damn vampire!' To that I say, 'your right but it is still shocking none the less!'

"Jo, are you going to interrupt after everything I tell you because this could take all night?" she gave me a playful grin and crossed her arms over her nonexistent chest.

"Oh sorry sweetheart, proceed…I…I won't interrupt again." I made a lip zipping hand motion over my lips and tossed the air key behind me.

I could barely hear her soft, "yeah right!" She grinned and leaned back on the settee. "Well there are two different kinds of wolves."

I nodded my head to show that I was following and she smiled even bigger, "Well the first are true werewolves or, Children of the Moon. They are very similar in appearance to the ones in the movies. They need the full moon to transform and they are quite unstable. I have seen a couple in my lifetime and they were awful."

At this point I couldn't have said anything if I wanted to. All I could think at that moment was Lucian from Underworld, and even though he was damn sexy, my skin was crawling just thinking about it. I suddenly realized why I had always thought the vampires were hotter. Weird that I was a vampire girl even back then. If I only knew back then how much of a true vampire girl I would be today…I shivered at the thought.

Jane continued her story with me totally and completely enraptured. This was like getting Gandalf himself to read the _Hobbit_ to you! "Caius is quite frightened of them."

Well, pissed off vampire is scared of the big bad wolf; I couldn't help but snort at that thought. He seemed like such a bad ass that day in the throne room, it was nice to know he could be brought down a notch by a little wolf!

"He got into a fight with one about fifteen hundred years ago and almost lost. Ever since then he has made it a goal of his to hunt them into extinction. They cannot be killed by the myths that humans have made about them. They are quite easy to kill if you can get one to hold still long enough. Just a blow or shot to the head will kill them. Body shots are useless because they can only be killed by severe head trauma."

Kind of like a zombie! I was giggling at this point remembering that stupid movie _Zombieland_ and that moron searching the world for a damn Twinkie!

Jane looked at me like I had lost my mind. I guess it did look bad that she was talking about the correct way to kill a werewolf and I was laughing. But I couldn't help it my mind is a twisted pretzel of fucked up-ed-ness.

I stopped laughing and she continued on but with a weird look on her face, like she was trying to figure out how crazy I actually was; if she only knew…

"Anyway, there aren't many of them left in Europe or Asia, thanks in part to Caius. There _condition_," she said with a disgusted undertone, "is caused by a bite from a transformed werewolf. During the full moon cycle they are very unstable. They don't remember who they are or what is going on around them; all they care about is food. During the cycle they can only eat human flesh," she watched me carefully and I shivered but nodded my head for her to continue.

"If the human somehow survives the attack, which is extremely rare, they are transformed into a werewolf. There transformation is nowhere near as painful as ours. In fact they kind of go into a coma like trance and when they awaken they have no memory of the attack. It isn't until their first cycle that they realize what they have become. I do feel a little sorry for them, at least while they are human, but in their wolf form they are pure evil!" I gaped at her; imagine a fucking vampire calling something evil! It just didn't seem right.

"There bite can do a lot of damage to us. Their teeth are very sharp and can cut through our granite like bodies; and once you get a vampire shredded all that is left is to burn it and it is gone forever."

She looked at me intently to make sure I was digesting all of this; I swallowed the dry lump in my throat and nodded at her pulling an afghan up and wrapping it around my shoulders.

"The second group of werewolves can't really be considered true Children of the Moon. We don't really know much about them, but fifteen years ago when we had a confrontation with the Cullen family was the first time we had ever come across them."

There was the Cullen's again! This family/coven was going to be the death of me. My curiosity where they were concerned was beginning to wear on me. I kept my mouth shut though; I knew Felix would give me more answers than Jane. I had already tried to get some facts about this different vampire group from her and it was a dead end.

"First of all they looked nothing like the Children of the Moon that I had come across. These shifters looked more like actual wild wolves than the werewolves that I had seen. Sure they were an enlarged form of a wolf but they looked just like the wild dog, just horse sized. Oh and they were regimented. It was almost as if someone was giving orders to them. Real werewolves can't be contained. They couldn't follow orders even if they wanted to.

"Also I remember Aro saying something about how their phasing wasn't bound to the moon. They can phase at will any time they wish. They also have power and the sharpness of teeth to destroy our kind. They are not to be trifled with; and yet the Cullen's had formed some sort of treaty and even a close friendship from what I could see." Jane didn't sound disgusted at this; more confused than anything. And once again the elusive Cullen name had been mentioned again; it's killing me I mean faster than what is going to kill me. Ah hell I am confused by all the freaky truths being spilled out right now.

Jane continued, "Anyway," she grinned at me. I grinned back as best I could but my stomach was getting a little queasy at the information thrown at me.

"Anyway," here it comes I can feel it! Tell me there's a Hogwarts baby! "There isn't anything else that is real. At least that we know of. I think that dragons were real once but they are gone now." She shrugged her shoulders and grinned over at me.

"Just the wolves and vampires, huh?" She nodded and went back to reading her book; well that was anticlimactic.

I leaned back on my headboard and thought about what Jane had just told me. At least I can live in comfort knowing that all my teenage years spent reading fantasy wasn't all in vain. But I couldn't help feeling disappointed that _everything_ wasn't real. Oh well, I will get over it!

My dinner tray was brought in by a male vampire that I didn't recognize. Jane took it from him and then slammed the door in his face; weird. I sat down to eat my meal and Jane continued to read from Jane Eyre while I ate.

After I was finished I kissed Jane on the head and told her I was tired. She turned off all the lights in the room except my bedside lamp while I changed into my night gown and crawled into bed.

I couldn't help but get excited that Felix could be home tomorrow! The giddy schoolgirl in me was doing a happy dance while the mature adult, don't be shocked I have one of those in me, was frightened by the fact that tomorrow marked nine more days till I was to ovulate.

My life was slipping before my eyes and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I crawled under the covers saying one last goodnight to Jane knowing full well that she wouldn't move from her spot on that damn settee all night. While it should have weird-ed me out to have someone, who couldn't sleep, quietly reading while I slept; it was oddly comforting knowing she loved me enough to protect me.

I sighed and rolled over to face the opposite wall. I let a few tears slip from my eyes and fell asleep quickly, dreaming of a beautiful little boy with bright green eyes and Felix's mahogany hair.

I was dreaming about this beautiful little boy walking hand in hand with Felix when I realized I was in the dream too. I looked down and connected to my hand was another little boy, with my strawberry colored hair and bright blue eyes. I smiled to myself in the dream; these must be our boys. They both looked like a perfect combination of the two of us.

The little boy with Felix had his hair color but my curls, his face shape but my green eyes, his smile, but a body more shaped like my average height very lanky father. The little boy I was holding on to had my hair color but Felix's wavy craziness, my face shape but the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, I could only assume that was the color eyes Felix had before the change. This little boy had my smile but he was built just like Felix; he was about a head taller and a lot more bulky than his brother. I could already tell he was going to be big and tall just like his daddy; maybe even bigger.

In my dream we were just walking through a very green very dense forest hand in hand. The boys looked to be about five or six. By this time I noticed Jane had joined us and was running ahead goading the boys to race her.

We were all laughing and joking just playing in the trees and the dense forest. The boys broke connection with us and ran ahead at an inhuman pace to chase Jane. I laughed at the boys and Jane and the ease of their sibling relationship. Jane was playing the role of the annoying but loving big sister to a T.

I was anxious to catch up to my children so I started to run. The feeling of the wind through my hair was exhilarating. I noticed Felix come up along side of me and take my hand. The familiar jolt of energy that passes through us when we touch sizzled between us and he gave me a shit eating grin. I smiled back at him and we ran through the woods hand in hand.

When we reached the boys and Jane they were stalking a herd of deer. I could see the boys in their tiny vampire crouches getting ready to pounce. The dream me held my breath and waited for my sons to take down their kill.

Apparently the vampire part of them needed blood and this is the type of hunting that my dream family did. I was proud that they were vegetarian vampires. I don't think I could stomach them killing a human.

The boys pounced on doe like they had choreographed their movements to each other. They were so graceful; it was hard not to be in awe of my babies. I smiled when I heard the neck of their deer crack and the boys begin their drinking.

Jane silently applauded them and took down a doe of her own scattering the herd across a small creek.

I felt a burn start in the back of my throat when I smelt the blood. Weird, I have never been able to smell blood before. I looked over at Felix who smiled and motioned towards the deer who had jumped the small creek about twenty feet in front of the kids.

I grinned at him and gave him a wink. I took off for the deer with a silence and speed that surprised me, I was never this graceful. I even managed to surprise the herd and jump on the back of a large buck. I risked a glance at Felix who was standing there leaning up against a tree with pride in his eyes watching his children and I. I shot him a grin and turned my head back to sink my teeth into the deer.

I jolted awake, "What the HELL?" I shouted.

I must have panicked Jane because before I knew it she was sitting on the edge of my bed. "What Jo? What is it? It was just a dream." She was flitting her hands nervously all around me trying to find out what was wrong with me.

I was still trying to process my dream and all I could choke out was, "I was a vampire."

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	7. Wookie

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really like to know what you guys think about my story! Please keep reviewing if you already have and if you haven't let me know how I am doing!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister! I am honored that you took time out of writing your Thesis to Beta my little story! YOU ROCK!

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* * *

_I was still trying to process my dream and all I could choke out was, "I was a vampire." _

"WHAT!" Jane shrieked. The inhumanness of her shriek made me cringe; it was a shriek but it also had a weird musical quality to it. These vampires will never cease to amaze me with their perfections; I mean only a vampire can make a girly shriek sound like it came straight from the stage floor of La Boheme. And while I think she may have ruptured my eardrums, she managed to bring me out of my dream induced funk.

"Take it down a notch Whitney!" I groaned and flopped back down on my bed throwing the covers over my head.

"Whitney?" she sounded confused

"Houston...?" I said with a smirk; still very much hiding under my covers.

There was a short pause and then a sigh, "You are so weird Jo."

I giggled and threw the covers back, "Not weird; just stating a fact. I am pretty sure that you and Whitney are the only two people who can reach that octave." I smirked at her sticking my finger in my ear wiggling it for effect.

She gave me a smirk, "Well maybe Mariah Carey too, but who's keeping track."

I laughed at her; thankful that she was able to calm me down from my wicked dream.

Now let me clear some things up this dream was not a nightmare; on the contrary I enjoyed it very much. The thing that intrigued me about the dream was that I was still alive after the birth of my children.

I know what you are thinking; you don't know if you are having twins or not, because no one can know that before they get pregnant. I beg to differ because my dream was real; I was there in my dream holding my son's hand and watching my family. I can still remember everything about that dream including the smells and textures; to me that dream was very real.

My Cajun Grandma Betty always told me that a vivid, lifelike dream was a premonition into the future. Dreams like that were real; they just weren't reality _yet_. I was inclined to believe her in this instance because I truly felt like I was in that dream.

It sounds weird, but all I had to do now was close my eyes and I could hear my boys' laughter, see their little faces and smell the forest. Hell, I still had a dry throat from the smell of that deer blood. Normally I can't remember my dreams after I am awake for a while, and according to the bedside clock I had woken myself up at three ten in the morning and it was now three forty five.

I was utterly confused by the peace that seemed to wash over my soul in response to this dream. Up until tonight I had been tweaking because I was going to die during the delivery of my babies. But now that I realized there was even a slight possibility I could make it through; I was all for it!

I hadn't thought of the possibility that I could be changed into a vampire. In fact I had listened to Jane and even Felix talk about the vampire transformation burning process and it never crossed my mind that they could change me. Man I am stupid!

I groaned as I realized that the prospect of becoming a vampire brought on questions I really had no desire to answer. Not that I was avoiding the subject it is just that I like to avoid these types of mind boggling questions if at all possible. Questions like; did I want to become a monster? Well, to be honest not really. I liked my warm, fleshy human body. I liked sleep and I loved pasta too much to give it up for the…gulp, other red sauce.

Did I want to spend an eternity not sleeping and thirsting for blood? Once again, no I didn't. Sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Felix, but the blood thirst I could do without.

Did I want to have the deaths of countless innocent humans on my conscience? That was a huge resounding NO! I quickly came to the conclusion that if I was to become a vampire, I would the vegetarian kind.

I had been thinking and brooding about it for a couple of minutes when I realized I wasn't asking myself the right questions.

The right question was, did I want to die? Well, that answer is, no not anymore. I had found love again and I wasn't ready to 'lose that lovin feelin.' Tom Cruise had nothing on my Felix!

Did I want Felix to raise our children as a single parent? That would be a _big_ no. It wasn't that I didn't trust Felix because I did. Felix was going to be an awesome father; the simple fact of the matter was I wanted to be there to help and watch my babies grow. Stop rolling your eyes I _am_ having twins!

And lastly, did I really care what I was going to be as long as I got to be with Felix, Jane and our kids? To be honest, I didn't care if I turned into a hairy leprechaun and had to stand watch over a pot of gold; I would do just about anything to be with my family.

I heard a gentle cough and I looked up to see Jane still sitting in front of me with a quirked eye and a confused expression. I must have looked like a mental patient sitting there deathly still staring at the wall. I breathed a huge strangled sigh of relief and grabbed Jane up into a bear hug. She went stick still for a second than hugged me back.

"Jo, are you ok? What did you mean; you were a vampire?" She sounded confused.

I pulled back from our hug and cupped her cheeks in my hands. I smiled at her and kissed her nose, "I am PERFECT Janie! I will tell you all about it when Felix gets here!"

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it now? Your heart sounds like it's going to beat out of your chest!"

I debated whether I should tell her now or wait for Felix. I looked at her bewildered expression and realized that I wanted Felix to be the first to know. I didn't want Jane worrying about this whole death-by-hybrid-children thing anymore.

"Go read your book and tonight when Felix gets home I will tell you both," I gave her a hug and she quirked an eye at me.

"Are you sure Jo?" I rolled my eyes at her silliness.

"Of course silly girl! I am going to try and get some sleep."

She still didn't look convinced that I was fine but she walked back over to the settee and gave me one last confused look before she picked up her book and went back to reading.

I sighed and flopped down on my pillow. I had a lot of planning to do before the Doc and Felix got here.

I had to come up with a smooth way to tell Felix that I wanted him to change me after our children were born but before I died; if that was even possible. I also had to find out more about the pregnancy and birth of these hybrid children. Oh and I _really_ needed to find out more about these Cullen people. If I was going to become a veggie vamp I needed to know the info!

I smiled when I thought about Doc pimping Aro for information. I would love to be a fly on that wall. Sure Doc was a human but the determined look in his eyes yesterday told me that he wasn't going to back down easily when it came to information. Aro was in for a little inquisition and he didn't even know it!

I don't know how I managed sleep with my mind going a million miles an hour but somehow I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

I managed to pry my eyes open when I heard a knock at the door. I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut; nine days. Why that sounded both like an eternity and a blink of an eye was a mystery to me. All I knew was that in nine more days and I would be…_pregnant_. I shuttered and opened my eyes.

I was thoroughly put out when I realized that I hadn't dreamed of my babies again. I felt a familiar pang in my heart and realized that I was beginning to miss a dream. I don't know if that was even possible but that is how I felt.

I rolled over to see Doc walking through the door. He looked better rested this morning with a little bounce in his step. Maybe his decision to talk to Aro had given him purpose, or maybe he just finally accepted his fate and decided to embrace the time he had left. Who knows? But I liked seeing him with a bounce in his step and a smirk on his face.

"What are you smiling about old man?" I grinned at him letting him know I was only kidding.

"First I take offence to the 'old man' statement," he clucked his tongue and crossed his arms over his chest; looking very much like my father when he was pissed. My answering blush earned me a wink from the gentle doctor and I breathed a sigh of relief that he was joking too. I liked this new improved Doc. "Second, I have an appointment with Aro this evening and I am excited to finally be _doing_ something."

I grinned up at him. I knew that whatever he found out tonight in that meeting would help us in planning for my future. _Future; _I can't believe I was thinking that word right now. A few days ago I would have punched someone square in the face if they told me I might have a future. But now I was eagerly looking forward to all the knowledge I was going to gain in the next two days.

I decided to play up his new found humor so I put on my best pouty face, "What, taking my temperature and vitals everyday isn't _something_? You know that hurts," I sniffed for good measure.

My horrible dramatics caused Doc to chuckle, "Oh Jo, you and I both know that this is the highlight of my day! Who wouldn't want to be verbally violated by a crass young woman who befriends vampires?"

I could see the mirth in his eyes and I giggled in response to his remark, totally losing my fake pout.

I reached up to pat him on the cheek as he bent over me with the old fashioned mercury thermometer, "It's good to hear you laugh, Doc."

I could see his eyes glisten and he did one of those manly coughs to clear the lump that must have been growing in his throat.

"Thank you, Johannah," he said his voice husky with emotion. "I figure, if you can't beat'em, join em!" I giggled again and nodded. I totally understood where he was coming from. We didn't want to be here but seeing as we weren't going to be leaving we might as well enjoy the twisted ride while we can.

My temperature was once again a cool ninety eight point six. I was perfect. I hugged the Doc as he was leaving and told him to be ready in the morning to stay for breakfast and discuss his meeting with Aro. He agreed and kissed me on the forehead like he had done yesterday morning.

I shook my head at the man I was growing to care for and decided to text Felix my temperature. I grabbed my text-phone thingy and busted out a text to my man.

_Once again, stats perfect…can't wait for you to get home! I have a lot I want to talk to you about! Jo_

I put my phone back down on the bedside table and stretched letting the sensation take over my body. I loved stretching in the morning. Especially those awesome stretches that caused your vision to blur and your body to tingle.

I semi growled-slash-howled as my stretch was ending and when I pulled myself to a sitting position I was faced with a very amused Jane. She looked like she was going to fall over with silent laughter.

"What?"

"You defiantly are the weirdest human I have ever met in my life! Nothing is average or normal for you. You even manage to take a simple stretch and make it sound like a Wookiee!"

I gaped at her, "You know what a Wookiee is?"

Star Wars was beyond a doubt one of my most favorite nerd delights. I was a sucker for a sci-fi action thriller.

She giggled and rolled her eyes walking over to answer the knock on the door that meant my breakfast was here, "Of course I do silly! I waited in line for two days to see _The Empire Strikes Back_ in New York in 1980. I freakin love those movies!"

I know I must have looked like a giant guppy sitting on the edge of my bed but I still had a hard time believing that the fifteen year old girl in front of me was over five hundred years old!

Jane started arranging my breakfast while she continued, "I think that guy behind me was getting curious as to why I didn't bring a tent or have to leave to use the restroom. I mean I just had a rainbow purse, umbrella, my sun hat and tinted glasses. But it was totally worth sitting in a small theater packed with humans to see that film; it's a classic!"

Jane turned around after setting up my breakfast tray on my little table and giggled, "Jo close your mouth or your tongue will shrivel up and fall out!"

I closed my mouth and shook my head to clear my brain. Jane was still smirking at me so I rolled my eyes and hopped across the cold floor to my chair.

We spent breakfast talking about our favorite books and movies. I was delighted to find out that Jane was just as big of a nerd as I was. We were both fans of the classics; Austen, Dickens, Gaskell, Tolkien, and C.S. Lewis, but I was also intrigued to find out that she was a fan of contemporary authors like Meyers, Rowling, King, and Grisham as well.

We also loved the same type of movies with comedies and action movies on the top of the list. We got into a heated argument that lasted about an hour over which series was better, Lethal Weapon or Die Hard. I argued that Die Hard was the better series because Bruce Willis is hot as fuck and is funnier than Mel Gibson. But she seemed to think that Lethal Weapon was funnier and that Mel Gibson was defiantly and I quote, "the dreamiest human that ever lived!"

My day continued like the past couple of days; breakfast, bath, lunch, nap, then supper and bed. The only constant in my day was Jane. True to form she was with me all day and once again didn't even leave during my bath. Even missing Felix as much as I did we managed to have a somewhat fun day; well as much fun as you can have being held hostage in a vampire castle. I even managed to not text Felix again which was extremely hard.

My day was complete with me kicking her ass at Texas hold'um after supper! Apparently vampires don't play poker, but I could tell after a while playing that Jane was going to be a formidable opponent. You could just see the wheels turning in her little head as she plotted her next hand. I giggled when I caught myself thinking I had created a monster, she already was one!

I was a little more than depressed that Felix hadn't responded to my morning text. He must be really busy on this mission. I hoped he was ok. I didn't like the idea of him being alone with the fuck face. And it wasn't that I feared for him, because Felix is huge and can take care of himself but I knew that Demetri wasn't good company and he tended to piss people off, a lot. Felix must be bored and on the verge of strangling Demetri. Don't ask me how I knew how he must be feeling; all I knew is how I would be feeling in his position.

I sighed after dinner and pulled on my nightgown. I really was too tired to even sit up. Playing Twister with a very flexible well balanced vampire is never a good idea. My back was still sore where I hit the ground after the damn arrow landed on right hand blue and I was already twisted like a pretzel.

I said goodnight to Jane as she turned out my lights and settled into the settee. She resumed her reading from the night before and I drifted off into my dream world.

In this dream I was standing in the middle of a meadow counting. I don't know why I would be standing there counting but there I was with my eyes closed and counting. When I reached fifty my eyes flew open and I grinned, "Ready or not here I come!" dream me shouted.

Ahh.. I was playing hide-and-go-seek! I saw the dream me take off to the right and I quickly captured the mahogany haired little boy from last night's dream. His giggle when I found him was delicious. I smiled when he winked at dream me and pointed across the meadow. I nodded at him and took off across the patch of grass, quickly finding the larger of the two boys with my hair color, who seemed extremely put out that he was found.

I giggled when he started to whine, "Mooommmm, it's not fair when he cheats! Tell him to turn his power off when we play!"

I shook my head at my dream children and realized that even hybrid children were not immune to whining. Dream me just shook her head and rolled her eyes at my son's outburst grabbing him up and swinging him around tickling his sides.

I sniffled when I heard the other little boy shout, "Me too Mommy, Me too!" I loved and really missed hearing someone call me Mommy. Their little voices were so angelic and I loved them so much it hurt. I wanted to rush over and smother both of them with hugs and kisses but I couldn't; real me couldn't move around in this dream. So instead I watched dream me in envy as she played with her babies.

It had been so long since I heard a wonderful little miracle call me Mommy and the surreal-ness of my dream had me silently begging for my dream to never end.

I didn't even realize that I had started crying until my dream broke off abruptly when I felt strong hands lightly shaking my shoulders.

"Jo, baby wake up." He sounded frantic. I wonder what was bothering him. "Jane, why the fuck is she crying?" I knew that voice. Felix was home. GREAT, leave it to me to be sobbing so hard I couldn't open my eyes enough to see him. I blindly felt around for his body and when I felt his strong shoulders I climbed up into is lap, not really caring if Jane was in the room or not. I needed Felix to hold me.

"I don't know Felix! She was fast asleep and then she just started sobbing!" I could hear the panic and distress in Jane's voice and I knew I needed to get control over my emotions. Easier said than done.

I buried my face in Felix's shirt breathing in his wonderful sent. That seemed to do the trick and I calmed down a little more. I could feel Felix rubbing circles on my back and rocking us back and forth. He was whispering, "It's ok baby, it's just a dream, I'm here," over and over.

Once I calmed down enough so that I was just hiccupping every now and then, Felix reached a finger under my chin and forced me to look into his eyes.

I had been completely aware of the god that was Felix; I mean he totally deserved the title of Sexiest Man alive, but sitting in his lap staring into his burgundy eyes while he smoothed my hair back from around my face was overwhelming. I had this overwhelming desire to kiss him and yet I couldn't take my eyes off his if I wanted to. I was spellbound by the passion and love and utter devotion that I saw and felt behind those eyes.

I can honestly say that this was one instance that my quirky gift for reading people's emotions was very handy. I could tell he loved me as much as I loved him and I was beyond glad that he was mine!

"I missed you," I managed to hoarsely whisper out.

"Baby you have no idea how much I missed you," he whispered back. I could see his emotions flash behind his eyes and I wanted to be a smart ass and say, 'I bet I do!' Because everything I felt in his eyes was a mirror of what I felt while he was away. But that would totally ruin this perfect romantic reunion moment that we were having and I couldn't bring myself to let cynical bitch out of her cage.

"Why are you crying sweetheart?" He closed his eyes and placed a kiss on my forehead, taking a deep breath like he was inhaling my scent.

I felt that pang for my dream babies hit my heart again and I couldn't stop the flood gate when it reopened.

"Oh Felix…I…I…just…I…just _miss_ them!"

"Shh baby I know you do, but they…they are in heaven." I could hear the remorse behind his words and it stung even more that I wasn't crying for my girls, I was crying for the little hybrid boys that I had only met in my dreams.

"Not them!" I wailed burying my face into his chest. I was so ashamed that I let a dream affect me this much. I was equally ashamed that somehow two little people that I hadn't even met had over night taken the place of my little girls in my heart. I pounded my fists into his stone chest; I am such a horrible mother!

"Then who baby? Talk to me; please tell me what is wrong. It's killing me to see you in pain," he was peppering the top of my head with kisses and his big strong arms were wrapped tight around me while he rocked back and forth.

"Our boys," I managed to choke out between sobs.

"_Our _boys?" He sounded confused and shocked by my choice of words. He must have been prepared for members of my family, but no, crazy Johannah misses people that don't even exist yet.

I sniffled and lifted my head off of his chest staring into my balled up fists in my lap. I wiped the ever increasing snot coming out of my nose on the sleeve of my night gown and proceeded to spill the beans about my dream babies.

"Yes! They are so beautiful; one had your hair color and my eyes and he is tall and skinny like my dad, and I think he has a power but I don't know what it is. And the other one has my hair color and the most beautiful blue eyes and he was so tall and broad, I just know he is going to be bigger than you one day. Oh Felix they are so sweet and beautiful, and I _miss_ them!" I was full on wailing at this point and I don't know how long I sat there crying until I got myself under control again.

I became aware of the fact that Felix had stilled his rocking while I was venting and I looked up at him to see his reaction to my outburst. He was sitting there staring at the wall across the room with a shocked expression on his face. He looked like he had just been told he won the lottery and didn't believe it yet. I couldn't tell if he was happy or confused or sad or all of that rolled into one but I just knew that he was still, a little too still.

"Felix are you alright?" I managed to whisper out while sniffling. I could feel myself getting tired again. Damn it I had worn myself out with the sobbing fit and I was ready for more sleep when all I really wanted to do is cuddle with Felix and talk about my plan. But I knew once he realized I was tired there wasn't a chance in hell that he would let me stay up to talk to him.

He shook his head and looked down at me and smiled. "I am fine baby. But you are tired and need to get some more sleep. It is only a little after midnight and you need your beauty sleep."

I gaped at him. Was he not just here when I confessed to him that I was seeing people that don't exist and worst of all I actually missed them. I was utterly confused by his ability to brush off my outburst and I vaguely registered him lifting me into his arms and lying me down on the bed.

I started to panic when it looked like he was leaving, "Don't leave me!" I shouted.

"Baby I am just going to take these muddy boots off then I fully intend on snuggling with you while you sleep," he winked at me and gave me one of his heart breaking smiles. I breathed a strangled sigh of relief and moved over under the covers to make room for his huge frame.

While he was taking his boots off I was struggling to keep my eyes open; that crying session and dream had really taken it out of me. I was disappointed because this isn't how I pictured my reunion with Felix would go, and yet at the same time I was so extremely happy that he was back I couldn't make myself feel disappointment.

I managed to open my eyes to say goodnight to Jane but I quickly realized that she must have snuck out during my fit to give Felix and I some privacy. I loved that little girl, but I did need this time with Felix.

"I missed you," I sighed as Felix climbed into the bed the springs groaning in protest under his weight.

He chuckled, "I missed you too baby. But I am here now and I am not leaving you again, not like that."

He reached over to wrap the thick comforter around my small frame and pull me closer to him. I happily obliged and laid my head on his chest breathing in his sweet scent and burying my face into his shirt. I could feel sleep taking over my body and when Felix reached up to play with my hair I was a goner.

I was so comfortable here in the arms of the man that I love that I barely heard myself mumble, "Felix after the boys are born will you change me into a vampire so we can be together forever?"

I heard a sharp intake of breath, then I heard Felix whisper into my hair placing kisses all over, "I fully intend to baby, I fully intend to. I love you, baby."

I sighed and mumbled, "Thank you, I love you too."

My life was good at this point; I had Felix back, I was going to be a mother again, and best of all, I was going to live. I feel asleep that night with a smile on my face and lightness in my heart ready to face anything that Aro could throw at me. Bring it on crazy bastard!

If I had only known then what would be waiting for me the next day, I could have prepared myself for the horror that was waiting for me when I woke up. I should have realized nothing goes smoothly for Johannah. And waking up to screaming was defiantly a bad omen.

* * *

Don't shoot me for the cliffhanger! Sorry!

I am super sorry that this took so long...I just found out quite unexpectedly that I am expecting baby #3 and I have been in a little bit of a shocked state for the past week. But here it is! I will hopefully be posting again this week! Love ya!

REVIEW PLEASE!


	8. Screaming

First I would like to say sorry for this update taking so long. I have been having some medical problems and the holiday's were crazy! I am hoping to post more often now but I can't promise anything! Thank you all for reviewing and keeping up with Orphan Train!

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really like to know what you guys think about my story! Please keep reviewing if you already have and if you haven't let me know how I am doing!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister! I am honored that you took time out of your Master's program to BETA my little story! YOU ROCK!

Enjoy!

* * *

As soon as I was asleep I was once again dreaming about hunting with my family. I sighed; I loved these dreams.

I appeared to be standing in my dream forest watching Felix teach our boys the fundamentals of killing a bear. I could tell that dream me wasn't happy about the prospect of watching her babies take down a bear, but I had faith that Felix wouldn't let them get hurt and their little faces were so excited as they watched their father explain how to attack the bear from behind. I was about to step forward and warn the boys about staying away from the claws and teeth of a bear when I heard a dreadful scream.

It sounded like a women screaming for her life. It was the kind of scream you hear in a horror movie just before the villain lops off a woman's head or kidnaps her. It was a scream that shook me too my bones.

I shivered at the thought that my family was too close to humans. We needed to move our training session to another spot so there wouldn't be an accident. I didn't want the boys or heaven forbid Felix to be tempted by the scent of human blood.

I looked around and realized that the boys were still going on with their bear fighting lesson as if they hadn't heard a thing and the screaming had stopped. I must be hearing things. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to watching my boys.

Felix was currently pretending to be a bear; he was growling and stomping through the clearing. The boys were giggling as they hid behind a tree and crouched ready to pounce on his back. I laughed as they both catapulted onto his back jumping in almost perfect synchronization. Felix was doing a tremendous job growling and flailing about. They were all laughing in between growls and mock death blows. I was about to join in when the screaming started again; this time with more vigor and volume.

I turned around to close in on the direction from where the screaming was coming from but even with my superior vampire hearing I couldn't nail down a position. I frantically looked up at Felix who was obliviously playing with the boys.

Didn't he hear it too? Just as I asked myself the question my dream family started to fade and the screaming got louder.

I shot up in bed; I was not in the forest I was in a bed in a vampire castle in Italy. I stared into my extremely dark room and realized that Felix must have turned off my night light lamp when I fell asleep last night. Well I was going to have to talk to him about that. Maybe he had perfect vision in the dark but I on the other hand hated not being able to see past my nose. And living in this freaky castle losing the ability to see was fucking scary.

I kicked my legs and ran my arms all over the bed trying to feel for Felix, I could have sworn I went to bed last night in his arms. I probably looked like I was having a seizure or some kind of fit in the bed but I couldn't see my damn hand in front of my face so I had to rely on my sense of touch to see if he was here. I rolled my eyes when I realized that if he were here he would have made himself known by now, he was a vampire who didn't sleep. Man I am a moron sometimes.

I sighed when I realized I was alone in bed and I was about the lay back down to fall asleep when I heard the gut wrenching scream pierce my ears again. I may be in the castle dungeon of some freaky vampires, but I knew that scream. That was the scream of a terrified woman.

I felt my heart start to race and my hands start to shake. Her scream hit me like a ton of bricks. I wrapped my comforter tighter around me and curled my legs to sit Indian style. I knew sleep would evade me form this point on. There was no way in hell I could sleep when that poor woman was suffering.

I was trying to settle my breathing down when the poor woman screamed again. This time her scream was mixed with a moan and sobbing. I cupped my hand over my mouth to muffle my own sobs at the woman's cries.

She sounded so pitiful. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks and I knew I needed Felix. I needed to know what the hell was going on around here and if I had to listen to this kind of shit for the next month I was going to lose my fucking mind.

The woman's cries rang through the stone hallways again and though I couldn't tell what she was screaming her screams seemed to be echoed by distant softer ones.

I wiped my tears off with my comforter and I started to really listen to the woman's screams and realized the moans and sobs that I was hearing were not echoes or even the poor creature crying but the pathetic cries of other women. I gasped and felt new tears running down my dry face. What the hell was going on with those women? Whatever the fuck was going on; it sure didn't sound good.

My head started spinning with all of the questions that were forming in my crazy mind. How many women where here? Where in the fuck was Felix? And what the hell was going on? Where the fuck was Felix? Why were they here? And most importantly, where the _fuck_ was Felix?

Another anguished scream brought me out of my reverie and I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep if I was keyed up worried about those poor women and what their fate would be. I shivered when I thought they could be a midnight snack.

I rolled my eyes and snorted when I realized that I had been sitting on my bed crying and freaking myself out. I needed to shed some light on the subject and fast before Freddy jumped out of the closet.

I huffed and reached over to shakily turn on the lamp by my bed side table. I screamed and threw my hand back over my mouth when I saw that I wasn't alone.

I knew he was a vampire because I could see his red eyes and that scared me. What the fuck was a vampire doing in my bedroom? How long had he been here and why in the hell was he just sitting there staring at me?

He was in a dark gray suit with a blue dress shirt. He seemed to be trying to dress older than he looked. He appeared to be only about fifteen or sixteen. I was once again struck at the injustice of this whole vampire changing thing. I kind of felt sorry for the freaky bastard. He looked familiar but I couldn't place him.

He was sitting on the settee with his feet flat on the floor and his back ramrod straight. It was creepy how still he was. And the fact that he was just sitting there staring at me made me shiver down to my toes.

I searched frantically around my room for Jane or Felix but they were nowhere to be found. I had a feeling that they weren't here, but it didn't hurt to check right? Damn the two of them for leaving me unprotected, what the hell was I supposed to do to defend myself if Skippy decided to snack on my O positive meals on wheels?

Once again I was sending mental cursing to Felix and Jane; I was going to give them both an ear full when they got back. I gulped. _If_ I made it that far.

I gripped the covers tighter to me and summoned courage from somewhere in my shaking body and glared back at his creepy flat eyes. I was mentally cheering on the cynical bitch that lived deep down in the recesses of my mind to come out and play.

"If Felix or Jane find out you are in here you are dead," I said with an eerily calm voice. Thank you inner bitch!

"Jane was right, you are a strange human." I stared at him wide eyed and pulled my blanket tighter around me. The way that he was staring at me made me feel like I was being watched with x-ray vision. I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts so I could talk to the asshole.

He had the balls to chuckle at me when I hiked my covers again and sensing that I was getting nowhere I decided to go for the shock and awe. So I opened my mouth and screamed Felix's name at the top of my lungs. And let me tell you this was a scream for the cheesy horror movie history books.

Why did I scream, you ask? Well, I knew that Felix had told me that he wouldn't be far away from me after he came back from his trip, and with his freaky vampire hearing I knew that if he was like within a mile of me he should have heard that scream and known it was me. So call it a screaming page of sorts.

I didn't like the way the creepy vampire had been staring at me and I wanted Felix here to protect me in case Shorty got grabby with his teeth. I looked back at Skippy and the look on his face made me smirk. He looked astonished and on the verge of a panic attack at the same time.

I lifted my head and was about to scream for a second time when Shorty got up and rushed to quiet me, but as he stood up to come across the room I screamed for Felix again. This time bringing out my inner teenage girl and giving it more gusto. I was in mid scream when by scream was cut off by my bedroom door flying off the hinges and the outline of my man in the doorway.

I smiled at the creepy freak and mentally shouted, 'It's on bitch!'

The smile was wiped from my face when Felix finally stepped into the light of my room. I was shocked at his appearance. To say that he looked distressed was an understatement. He looked like he had been run over by a Mac truck and then put through prisoner of war torture; he looked utterly anguished.

He looked over at the vampire who was now scared shitless and staring at Felix like he knew he fucked up. When Felix's eyes connected with the other vampire's, he growled and his face changed from anguished to terrifying.

I had never seen Felix look more like a vampire than he did in that moment. He had always looked like a human man to me with a freaky blood red eye color. I knew that he was a vampire; it was evident in the way he always held me like I was going to break or his tender kisses. I had seen him angry with Aro and I had watched him be worked up about the situation I was in, but the way he looked right now scared the shit out of me. I fully realized that he was much more than a human.

I watched his eyes change color from burgundy to the blackest black. Despite that fact that he was standing in the light of my lamp, his face darkened almost as if he had stepped back into the shadows.

In that moment, while I was staring at his face, it hit me that a part of him truly was a monster. He may not let his baser instincts take total control of his life but he was definitely not the human man that I had made him out to be in my mind. I had created a dream Felix that I kept in the front of my mind. He wasn't a monster that killed people and drank their blood. He was just a man who had been forced into a lifestyle that he couldn't get out of. I nearly choked and my hands flew to my mouth when it hit me that the man I was totally and completely in love with was indeed a vampire.

I had created a docile Felix in my mind and in real life he had done nothing to warrant my fear of him. He was always the perfect gentleman and, to be honest, his careful distance between us was driving me crazy. I wanted to kiss him, feel his breath on my face, and feel him moan in my mouth as we kissed. But Felix was ever the gentleman with his chaste forehead kisses and light touches. I adored the man he was but the man that held me when I slept and rocked me when I cried was not the man that was standing in front of me now.

Jane had told me that the Cullen family had golden eyes because their diet consisted solely of animal blood. Seeing the visible change in Felix's eyes reminded me that he still continued to take human life to sustain his own. I whimpered when I thought of all the pain and suffering he had inflicted since his change. I wasn't scared of him because I knew he would never hurt me but I was hurting for all of the lost lives of his victims.

My ability to sense the emotions of others made it hurt more than it should have to think about the staggering amount of lives taken at the hands of my love. I could have never been a nurse or a doctor, because having to witness all of that pain and suffering would have put me in the bed next to them. I sobbed silently into my hand and watched as Felix leaned closer to the vampire who had invaded my room.

"Alec what the fuck are you doing in here? And where in the hell is Jane, I told her not to leave Jo alone?" Felix had backed the smaller vampire up against the wall and was towering over him by about two feet.

The smaller vampire seemed to gain some resolve in his mind because he stood up and looked directly into Felix's eyes, "I would stand back if I were you Felix. If you recall you didn't fare so well last time I," he shrugged, "incapacitated you."

I didn't know what he meant but I assumed he had a power like Jane. I had figured out by this point that this was Jane's brother and I remembered her saying something about him having a power, but I didn't recall her ever saying what. I was suddenly very scared that he would use his power on Felix and I didn't want Alec to hurt him with whatever freaky thing he could do.

Felix stood up straighter but didn't back away. He folded his arms across his chest and growled, "I don't give a shit…" before he could finish whatever it was he was going to say Jane appeared in the doorway.

She took in the scene before her and growled at her brother than turned and locked eyes with me. She must have seen something in my eyes to alarm her because in a blink of an eye she was kneeling by the side of my bed.

"Jo, are you ok?" she asked in a low voice.

I knew my voice wasn't going to work from the combination of screaming like a thirteen year old girl and stifling my own sobs, so I nodded at her. She took a deep breath and gave me a tight smile before she stood and spun on her own brother.

Oh shit this can't be good. I was silently praying that my presence in this ancient place wouldn't cause a fight between these two siblings. I might be a shit stirrer but I didn't want to be the cause of a family breaking apart.

I choked back another sob and moved over to see around Jane. I didn't know why I was crying at this point other than the fact that I couldn't stop. I hate that when you start crying and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Oh well, life goes on and I wanted to see what was happening in my room and I couldn't when Jane was standing directly in front of me.

I shifted in time to see Felix look at Jane with a questioning gaze. I looked back at Jane and saw her nod her head, and when I looked back at Felix I saw him make a face that clearly said, 'are you sure, cause if you aren't I will stand closer?'

My heart swelled when I realized that Felix was trying to protect Jane. With her power I seriously doubt he would have been much help but his obvious concern for her just made me love him even more.

Felix must have seen something of an assurance in her face because he stepped back a couple feet from Alec. He still didn't turn to face me and he kept his beefy arms over his chest and his eyes menacingly on Alec's face. I had to suppress a giggle when I realized how much he looked like body guard.

Crying and giggling, holy shit Jo you really are crazy.

I glanced back over at Alec and realized that he had looked a little cocky when he was just dealing with Felix but now that Jane was in the picture and standing protectively in front of me he was looking a little more anxious.

"Alec what are you doing in this room?" Jane asked through gritted teeth. Good question baby girl! I wanted to know the answer to that one myself.

Alec rolled his eyes and shifted his weight to one foot while crossing his arms over his chest. "I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. You have been spending so much time with this…_human_," he said human like it was a disease, "I wanted to see what was so special about her. I see nothing extraordinary about her, sure she is a brave little thing but she is so strange." He was eyeing me with a confused expression on his face like he was trying to figure me out.

So, in typical Johannah fashion I raised an eyebrow and flipped him off. What can I say; I am a little braver now that I know that there are two vampires who would rip him to shreds if he so much as took a step towards me.

I heard Felix growl and move a step closer to Alec after his comment about me being strange. I was about to tell him to be careful when I heard a very unladylike growl come from the little girl in front of me.

"Tread lightly brother; you are talking about the woman who has become a mother to me," I felt fresh tears prick at the corners of my eyes again. Damn my overactive tear ducts.

I had thought of Jane as a daughter from the first time she broke down and sobbed her tearless sobs into my lap, but I would have never guessed she returned those feelings. Jane was not one to wear her feelings on her sleeve and she had just started opening up to me. She knew I loved her because I told her frequently but she would always nod and give me a small smile in return. To know now that those feelings were indeed reciprocated made my heart swell and made me want to grab Jane up in a hug. But I needed to stay where I was till Alec was gone, and Jane needed to keep all of her concentration on her scary brother.

Through my blurry eyes I could see that Felix had a smug look on his face. I smirked at how drop dead sexy he was; man eight days couldn't go by fast enough. I had to shake my head to pull my thoughts out of the gutter. Stop shaking your head at me; I have gone about a week without getting laid and for me that was paramount to a Guinness World Record. I needed to get some and fast.

I chanced a glance at Alec to take my mind off of the sex god that was standing in my room, and his face was priceless. He looked shocked and like he was going to shit a brick any second.

"Don't tell me that you have developed feelings for this _human_." When Jane didn't respond except to sneer at him and widen her protective stance in front of me he shook his head in disgust. "I thought better of you sister; especially considering her days are numbered." When he looked over at Felix his expression changed to match the smug look that had been on Felix's face. "If you are the _human's_ mate, does that make you Jane's father?"

Both of my vampires growled again and this caused a smug chuckle to erupt from Alec, "I am shocked that both of you would invest so much time in something that is just a pet project of Aro's." He raised his hand to inspect his nails. "Especially since he has no interest in the female other than her ability to give him the hybrid he desires."

I heard Felix roar with anger and step closer to Alec, "It will be over my pile of ashes that Aro takes Jo or our child away from us!" I was starting to shake with anger at the thought of Aro taking my boys. And I knew that Aro would have three very pissed off vampires to challenge after Felix changed me.

I felt a small growl start in my chest and the look on Alec's face when he turned to look at me was of shock and disgust. He sneered at me and then turned to look back into Felix's face.

"You will have no other option but to hand over the child after she is dead. What, did you really think that Aro was going to let you be a father?" He let out a dark chuckle. "You will be lucky if you are left alive after the child is born. Don't think Aro hasn't realized your attachment to the human, the only one we have underestimated is my dear sister here." I was seething in my seat and wishing that I could punch him in his smug face without breaking my hand.

Felix was about to say something when Alec interrupted him, "Have you even stopped to think about why Aro wanted you to collect those human women with Demetri?" I sucked in a gasp of shock and Jane looked over at Felix with a confused expression on her face. I looked at Felix and he looked shocked and confused.

Alec started chuckling and shook his head in disbelief. "Did you even question why Aro would send you out to collect four human women that resembled the Cullen women?"

"What are you talking about brother? Felix's mission was to appease Aro's feeding habits; the fact that he wanted the women to resemble the Cullen women was only part of his obsession with killing the Cullen's. Those women are dead now anyway, so what does that have to do with Jo." Jane sounded thoroughly confused and agitated.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to argue further with her brother one of those ear piercing screams ripped through the air. Jane's eyes bulged and she moved her hand to her mouth.

I looked over at Felix whose shoulders had slumped in defeat like he had just placed the pieces of a puzzle together and the full picture was not a very good one. He lowered his head to look at the floor and groaned into his hands.

Looking around the room I was under the impression that I was missing something. The woman started sobbing again and I felt like screaming myself, would someone just tell me what the fuck was going on here!

"You see, dear sister, those women aren't dead; at least not yet anyway. And Demetri and Heidi have been sent out on another mission for the Master. We have all been briefed of Aro's plans and I was to inform you of the new developments today. Felix wasn't present for the briefing due to the fact he couldn't be trusted with this information because of his connection to the _human_. Little did we know you were just as connected to _it_ as Felix?"

If this son of a bitch said _human_ or _it_ like I was some damn leaper one more time I was going to have Felix rip his throat out while Jane burned him at the stake with her eyes. Stupid dumb prick mother fucker!

"You need to be informed before you make your decision my dear sister. I will tell you the plans; if nothing else but to sway you into realizing that the Master's plans cannot be stopped. He will get his way in the end and your _human_ _mother_ will die like the rest. Be careful sister when you choose a side. Going against the Master is never wise."

I gulped and held my breath as we waited for the story behind the poor women who were still sobbing and screaming in the hallway. I could sense this wasn't going to be good. Looking into Alec's eyes I could see hate, hurt, and rejection flash through his eyes just before a new resolve flashed along with malice and a little fear. There was something bad going down in bloodsucker land and I needed to know what it was; if for nothing but my own sanity.

Felix Jane and I were all looking at Alec waiting for him to begin the tale. I could see the anguish written on Felix's face and the defeated posture of Jane was telling me that they already had somewhat of an idea what was going on. Well that is great, now would someone clue me the fuck in! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I was about to interrupt the silence when the dick started talking; thank God!

"When Demetri brought your _human_ to Aro it was with knowledge that the Master had been contemplating creating a hybrid for some time. After the wedding announcement of the Cullen hybrid to that wolf was received a month ago the Master's resolve settled and he began to formulate a plan. He needed to find a _human_ woman with no ties to the world that no one would miss. Your _human's_ unique desire for death made the choice even easier.

"When Felix showed an interest in the _human_ Aro realized that his strange compassion along with his history for bedding _human_ women before he fed off of them could be used to aid in the creation of Aro's hybrid."

Alec looked over at me to see if he had shocked me with this information. Sorry you sick son of a bitch but Felix already told me everything! I just stared back at him and when my expression didn't change his eyes fell a little and he returned to his story. "The master would have done the deed himself if it weren't for the fact that the idea of bedding a _human_ sickens him to the point where he would be of no use.

"Four days ago Felix and Demetri were summoned into the Master's chambers and told of a special mission. They were to search the whole of Europe for women who resembled the Cullen women. Aro wanted them to be as close to exact matches of the female vampires as they could find. To be quite honest they did a wonderful job if I do say so myself. The _human_ that resembles Rosalie is a gorgeous specimen." He grinned and through my tears I could see lust darken his eyes, causing not only me but Felix and Jane to growl at him.

He chuckled and continued, "Tut, tut have no fear dear sister; _human_ women do nothing for me, the _humans_ are safe at least from me."

I growled again; I doubted any woman human or vampire could do 'anything' for him. Mainly because his balls hadn't dropped yet and he probably couldn't recognize a boner if it smacked him in the face!

"Anyway Felix was left under the impression that these women were to be used for feeding the Master, but Demetri knew the truth. Once they returned to Volterra, Felix was sent to return to his human and when he refused to touch the Master's hand Aro knew he could no longer be trusted. Demetri and Heidi were sent out a couple hours after their return on a similar mission."

I was still holding my breath as I watched Felix's head shoot up; apparently this was new and shocking information. I don't know at what point he had looked down at the ground but he looked horrible. I wanted to run and comfort him but I was rooted in my spot on the bed. I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

"They were sent to collect male vampires that resembled the Cullen men. They will be of no use after the humans are bred and will be disposed of." He waved off the deaths of four vampires like it was a walk in the park. I could see Felix's jaw tense and relax; I knew he was beyond pissed at this cocky motherfucker because I was.

"You see Aro has some unexplained fascination with that damn Cullen family. Being thwarted by them fifteen years ago has created, shall we say, a bad taste in his mouth and he wants to get back at them."

I could feel myself start to shake, I didn't know the Cullen's but they sounded like people who were just trying to make the best of a situation. I didn't like the idea of someone hurting them.

"We tried a frontal assault on the Cullen's and it didn't work. Their seer makes it almost impossible to do anything without giving their fucking family a heads up. So when Aro realized that hybrids and wolves created a blind spot for the little tramp he started forming his plan.

"Six months ago he abducted one of the Amazon hybrids and has been keeping her hidden in the cells below." Jane and I gasped and Felix looked like he had been kicked in the stomach.

"Fear not she hasn't been harmed. The Master simply makes decisions and his plans in her presence. She is not a prisoner per say. She enjoys the library and not having to hunt anymore; although I don't know what she would say if she knew of her true reasons for being here.

"After her, transfer, Aro's plans were set in motion and we just waited for you," He flicked his hand at me. I wanted to flip him off again but shock had taken over my body and I couldn't move at least not voluntarily.

"When this _human_ arrived we began the process. The master has an idea of creating an army of sorts, made up of hybrid vampires." I could feel myself getting sick at the thought of that twisted son of a bitch raising babies. It was like a perverted twisted mythological version of the Hitler Youth. There was no way in hell he would get his hands on my babies! Jane and Felix would see to that. And after I am changed we are getting the hell out of here.

"He wants these hybrids to blend in with the human population and destroy the Cullen's from within. You see the Master believes that if we can destroy their human lives, or force them to break the vampire laws then we can destroy them. I am afraid he will stop at nothing to destroy this family and the collecting of these was to be the start of his army. Don't ask me why he wants them to look like the Cullen's. I think it is some sick thing his mind has concocted to get to them. You know hit them where it hurts.

"Apparently it bothers some of the Cullen women that they can never have children, so by creating hybrids that resemble them and their partners he can strike yet another blow. It is all nonsense to me, I say we go and kill them all and be done; and quit all of the mind games. But you know how the Master likes to play his games."

I was full on crying now and tears were pouring down my face. I looked up to see Jane shaking with anger and Felix had fallen to his knees on the floor with his hands digging in his hair. I chanced a glance at Alec who was leaning against the wall silently laughing at Jane and Felix.

If I would have blinked I would have missed Jane flying across the room and pinning Alec to the wall. Felix's eyes shot up and he was at Jane's side in an instant. Felix grabbed both of Alec's arms and pinned them above his head as Jane increased her strangle hold on her brother's neck. I choked back a sob when I realized they were going to fight over me.

I was about to interfere and stop Jane from doing something she would regret when I heard Alec scream at the top of his lungs and start writhing under his vampire restraints.

Once he stopped screaming I heard the most menacing voice I have ever heard come from my little Jane, "Listen to me dear brother, I wouldn't try to use your power on Felix or Jo if I were you or I will set you on fire again. And we both know that while my power works on you, for some reason I am immune to yours." Alec nodded and stared at Jane with frightened eyes.

"What the hell Jane how come I didn't know that?" Felix sounded pissed an astonished at the same time.

"Well father dearest, Alec and I both decided that no one needed to know because we have never had to use our powers on each other, until now." Jane didn't take her eyes off of Alec's.

Felix shrugged his shoulders and went back to scowling at Alec.

"I suggest brother that you pack your belongings and run. Run far away from here and I will tell Demetri that you are on an extended hunting trip. Don't speak to anyone on your way out; I want no one to know that you spoke to us and revealed Aro's plans. I will know if you speak to anyone and so help me I will have Demetri track you down and when he finds you, I won't be far behind." She sounded almost evil as she glared at her brother.

Alec nodded and once Jane and Felix released him he was out the door.

His story and the overall emotions of the morning were getting to me. I couldn't silently hold it in anymore. A whimper slipped through my hands that were tightly covering my mouth.

Felix heard my small whimper and when his eyes really connected with mine for the first time this morning he relaxed a little in the shoulders but his face was still haggard.

When I looked into his now black colored eyes I saw a weariness that I didn't think could accompany vampires. Also an immense sadness that I knew was mirrored in my own eyes.

How could Aro do this to those poor women? It was different with me because I had no one and I wanted to die. But these women probably had families and friends. Not to mention they were taken against their will. I could still hear their sobs and their cries even though their screams were dying down. I heard one of them sobbing, 'why me' over and over again, and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

An anguished sob escaped the death grip I had on my mouth and the dam was broken. I looked over to see Jane fall on the settee and sob into her hands. I felt the need to go and comfort her but I couldn't move because of my sobs. Felix was still standing by the door staring at me.

I needed him to hold me and I needed him to tell me that everything was going to be ok. This shit fuck mess that we were in just kept getting worse and worse. I cried harder when I realized that four innocent women were going to lose their lives and four innocent vampires were going to be used as studs then killed. I sobbed even harder for the children who were going to be born into this mess. We had to help them, there had to be some way to fix this.

I looked up at Felix and pried my hands from my mouth. When I held them out for him he took a staggering breath and before I could blink he was across the room and holding me in his strong arms.

I breathed a sigh when he wrapped his strong cold arms around me. This is where I belong, this is where everything made sense, and together we would figure everything out. We had to.

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Please Review it would mean a lot!


	9. Planning Sucks

**There are no words to express how sorry I am. I have a lot of excuses...had a baby...got my gallbladder out...grandpa died. Thank you for sticking with my story and I promise to update sooner. **

**_WARNING: _**If you are someone who doesn't like strong language or sexual references, dark subject matter (like abduction, rape, and tragic death) or the rare tasteful LEMON...please stop reading **NOW**! My story is not one you want to read!

**_DISCLAIMER: _**I don't own Twilight or its characters...*tear*...but I would like to own one Emmett Cullen...yummy!

Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really like to know what you guys think about my story! Please keep reviewing if you already have and if you haven't let me know how I am doing!

Thanks to my sister ieatyourmuffins, for being the BEST Beta and the BEST Sister! I am honored that you took time out of watching Battle Star Galactica marathon to BETA my little story! YOU ROCK!

Enjoy!

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The next three days passed slowly and yet in a blur. I wasn't sure if it was because all the planning we were doing for what has become known as, "the deed," or if I had just reached my stress threshold. Stress may not be the right word. The stress was more in the form of sexual tension. I am inclined to believe that I have reached my sexual peak. I am done playing the waiting game. By the time I was able to get my rocks off I would have built up enough sexual frustration to kill a seasoned porn star. I mean come on! I haven't been this deprived since I had my second daughter and I was banned from the practice due to intense vaginal damage during childbirth. A girl has needs, and I have reached the begging for it stage.

My frustration brought great amusement to Doc and Jane. They joked my head was gonna explode if I didn't get some and Felix wasn't helping matters. He kept winking at me which made my insides turn to jelly and my head spin. And in the confined space of my room he would use any excuse to brush up against me or whisper in my ear. I wish he wasn't made of stone so I could kick his ass for being a tease.

D-day, if you wanted to call it that, was looming closer and closer. I had mixed feelings about this upcoming Day of Days. I was filled with both an excited anxiousness and a sense of trepidation. I was moved by the fact that once the deed was done, it couldn't be undone. From all our research, and the conversations the Doc had with the hybrid living in the castle, all fertilization required was one time. And according to the hybrid, Kala, we had learned it really didn't matter if I as ovulating or not. She had told Doc that her father was able to impregnate the humans in one visit. The super sperm of the vampire male was forcing ovulation and fertilization. I remember when I was trying to get pregnant the first time all the reading I did on how babies were made, and I know it is a game of chance. Women only had a certain window when they could get pregnant and sperm only lived for so long. Apparently with vampires it was a one stop shop. I giggled just thinking about it.

We had originally planned on waiting till my ovulation day, which was in five days, but after a lot of talk and arguments we decided to go ahead and plan D-Day for tomorrow. Five days before my suspected ovulation.

Once I realized that I could get pregnant immediately I was ready to kick Doc and Jane out of the room and get to it. But there was an intense argument about how the babies would eat and preparing for my delivery. And when I discovered that I would have to consume blood during my pregnancy to keep myself and the babies strong enough for delivery I had a fit.

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO DRINK HUMAN BLOOD!" I screamed at Felix who looked like if he could he would be pulling his hair out.

"Baby, we have been over this, you have to in order to stay alive. Kala says you will be craving it." Felix sounded like he was talking to a four year old which only served to piss me off more.

I screamed in frustration, "I am well aware of that fact, _dear!_ All I am saying is that it better not be HUMAN! I am hell bent on living the Cullen lifestyle and I REFUSE to take a life. Now if you are willing to bring me animals or drain them and bring me the blood I will talk but I am not going to take a life. End of fucking story!"

Felix looked shocked and Jane looked awestruck. I could tell that they were battling inner demons and when I saw resolve and maybe a little mischief in Felix's scarlet eyes I knew I had won that fight. Yay, Jo-1 Felix-0!

And then about two days after our fight with Alec, Felix and Jane had robbed a blood bank. And let me tell you it scared the shit out of me when they burst through the door carrying four coolers a piece. Doc and I were just sitting at my little table going over some of the notes he had taken in his conversations with Kala. When my two favorite people came busting into the room on a mission.

Jane and Felix were supposed to have gone on a quick hunting trip and here they were with eight coolers. I was so shocked by the randomness of their actions I hadn't thought about how weird it was. They had run in and sat the coolers down and ran out again. I had looked at Doc in shock only to see the door burst open again with Jane carrying an entire refrigerator on her back. She had flitted over to the wall opposite the door and plugged the fridge into the wall, like she was carrying a toaster instead of an enormous fridge. I sat there amazed while she whistled and starting opening the coolers to organize what looked like bags of donated blood.

I gasped when I saw what she was doing, "Janie what the hell are you doing with coolers full of blood?"

I could practically hear her eyes rolling and she turned to face me and put a hand on her hip, "Ma what do you think we are gonna be feeding you when you are pregnant? I didn't think you would fancy us bringing in your meals still live and wiggling." She winked at me and went back to organizing the blood. "And why do you get to cuss if I can't?"

I coughed out a laugh still extremely confused and I saw Doc getting up out of the corner of my eye and walking over to one of the coolers.

"This is genius!" Doc exclaimed.

"Why thanks Doc!" Jane exclaimed still organizing the chilled blood.

I finally snapped out of my trance and yelled, "Why in the hell is this a good idea? I thought we agreed that I wasn't going to be drinking human blood!"

"Mouth!" Janie sung. I growled at her and was about to open up a Mama can of you better watch the smartass comments, when I heard another voice.

"Love, you have to keep your strength while you are carrying the baby," Felix said walking back through the door with my lunch tray shutting the door behind him.

"Babies, not baby, BABIES!" I said exasperated. Felix, Janie, and Doc were not as convinced as I was that I was gonna have twins. I think they put up with me saying babies and my boys only to appease me. But I just knew I was gonna have my dream boys.

"Ok Jo, babies," he said kissing my forehead and sitting our food tray on my night stand. He walked back over and began to move all of the research papers off of the table so we could set up for lunch. "And we have explained that you will have to drink blood of some kind. So Jane and I thought, since you are so against taking life, why not donated blood?"

I growled again and banged my fist on the table. "Will someone _please_ tell me why human donated blood is so much better than animal blood?"

"Well Jo according to my research the baby," I scowled at Doc, "sorry, the babies will be craving blood while you are pregnant and the infusion on human blood will have a more profound effect on the safety and well being of not only the children but yourself as well. I believe the Cullen's giving Bella donated blood during her pregnancy helped her to stay strong enough for the transformation."

My mouth was hanging open in shock. When did Doc get information about the Cullen's? And what the hell kind of argument could I come up with against drinking the human blood? I had nothing. I would do anything for my babies.

I was still staring at Doc in shock as he continued to help Janie with the fridge which was rapidly filling. I blinked and felt a cold hand on my forearm.

"Baby you need to eat," I looked down and saw Felix squatting down by my feet and when I looked at the table my lunch was spread out in front of me.

I nodded and picked up an apple. Felix smiled and stood up to kiss me on the top of my head and I could have swore I felt him take a deep breath in.

"Are you sniffing me?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"Of course I am!" Felix boomed, his giant body moving towards the center of the room. He didn't even look abashed. He just grinned and damit, wink at me and then he turned to stare at the wall across from my bed. I could see he was up to something and I was curious as to what had him acting so happy.

I took a bite of my apple and asked, "Why are you staring at my wall with an evil glint in your eye?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "Because my dear we are about to upgrade our room assignment."

I raised one eyebrow at him but continued to eat. If I had learned anything in my short time with Felix it was he lived by the, 'it's better to ask for forgiveness then ask for permission' motto. I shook my head and went back to brooding over the fact that Doc knew information about the Cullen's and hadn't told me. Didn't he know that I was morbidly curious about this family? That I was going to do everything in my power to model my vampire life off of their example? I was confused and a little pissed off that I had been denied information.

Doc and Jane finished with the blood and Doc returned to his seat across from me at our table and he dug into his lunch. He looked up long enough to give me a wink and a rare smile that lit up his eyes.

I swallowed my apple bite and looked into Doc's eyes, "How do you know about the Cullen's?"

Doc wiped his mouth off with his napkin and glanced over at Janie and Felix who were standing close and speaking in hushed tones. I followed his vision and furrowed my brow. What are those too plotting?

"I went to speak to Aro, that day Janie's brother was here," I had forgotten all about that! I shuddered at the memories of Alec being tortured by his own sister, and nodded for Doc to continue.

"Well Aro had a surprising bit of knowledge about the Cullen's. I was able to work out what they eat how they survive and even how Bella survived the pregnancy and delivery of Renesmee." I was in awe and I leaned forward to encourage him on.

He smiled at me and put his sandwich back down on his plate and got up and walked over to the settee. He reached into a briefcase and pulled out what looked like an eight by ten photo. I was confused until he sat down and handed me the picture. "This is the Cullen's." My eyes went wide and what I saw made me smile.

It was a picture of a family wedding. There was a beautiful red headed girl standing in the center of the picture in a classic wedding dress. She was smiling up at a very large Native American looking man who had his arm wrapped around her waist and was beaming into the camera. He was every bit as big as Felix if not bigger. His smile was so big and the happiness coming from his eyes was so strong that it looked like he was going to burst he was so happy. I traced the red heads face and felt a tear slip out of my eye as I saw the shear love that was pouring from her eyes as she gazed on the man she had obviously just married.

My gift for reading a person's emotions had always been a strain on me; I hated how much looking into people's eyes told me about them. I saw everything from pain to joy, from sorrow to complete happiness. It had gotten to the point that I refused to look people in the eye when they conversed with me. But seeing the love in her eyes was overwhelming.

I felt a cold arm around my shoulders and cold lips being pressed into my temple, "Sweetheart, are you alright?" I nodded and turned to place my hand on Felix's cheek. I could see concern and that some love coming from his eyes and I couldn't stop the silent tears that were coming down my face.

This was the type of love that everyone prayed for, that people searched their whole lives for and I was lucky enough to have found it twice. My human husband loved me with all he had. I could see it every time we talked, every time we made love, and every time he looked at me. Now my vampire mate was looking at me with that same look. How did I get this lucky? Who decided that I was worth this? I felt undeserving and yet selfish. I wasn't going to give up Felix for anything.

"Tell me about them?" I whispered to no one in general, even though I was looking at Felix.

"I don't know much baby," Felix said with a sigh. He broke eye contact with me just long enough to look at Doc. I turned my head to see him nod and agree to describe them.

Felix picked me up and pulled me onto his lap on the settee and Doc and Janie moved to sit on either side of us. We were all huddled around this picture of this amazing family who I wanted to meet more and more by the second.

"This is Renesmee Cullen and her new husband Jacob Black," Doc said pointing at the bride and groom. I smiled when I saw the hybrid. I loved that she was so happy, I prayed my boys would find a love like that.

"Jacob is a shape shifter. And it seems that he imprinted on Renesmee and they are mated for life." Doc went on to say.

"Shape shifter? And what is imprinting?" I asked with my eyes still locked on the happy couple.

Jane piped up, "Well remember when I told you about werewolves? Well Jacob is the Alpha of their pack in the Pacific Northwest." I gasped suddenly remembering her description of the shape shifters she had come in contact with when she was a part of the guard. She grinned at me. "It is really kind of cool. They are fuc…" I raised an eyebrow at here daring her to finish her word. She rolled her eyes at me, "friggin huge! Like I am talking about the size of a Clydesdale!" I chuckled and shook my head. She was really becoming more and more like the teenager she is every day.

"Anyway," interjected Doc, "imprinting is apparently where a shape shifter makes eye contact with a girl and he is tied to here for life. Not literally tied but, his whole world belongs to that person. Aro described it much in the way that vampires find their mates except it is more exact. It happens in an instant."

"Wow," I was overwhelmed, "so it is basically love at first sight."

"Exactly," Doc smiled and moved his finger over to the couple standing next to the bride. I still had questions about imprinting but I was willing to wait until I could ask a shape shifter myself. Poor Jacob Black wouldn't know what hit him!

"This is Edward and Bella Cullen, Renesmee's parents."

I smiled when I looked at how completely happy Bella and Edward looked. Edward was standing directly behind Bella with his arms wrapped around her waist and she had her arms over his. I traced Bella's face and saw peace. She was like me; a woman who fell in love with a vampire. I felt a new resolve wash over me and I was suddenly determined to be as strong and brave as she was. If she could do it, then damn it so could I!

"Edward has the power to read a person's mind. And unlike Aro he doesn't have to touch you. And Bella is really amazing," Jane said wrapping her arms around my left arm and snuggling into my side. She was pressed up next to Felix and me.

I smiled over at her only to see Felix had draped his arm around her, much like a father would with a daughter. I looked up at him and he shrugged his shoulders. I felt tears prick my eyes, man I loved this giant vampire man. I mouthed, I love you, to him and he kissed me on the nose. He didn't have to say it; I could see it in his eyes.

Jane carried on as if she didn't notice our exchange even though I know she had seen it all. I kissed the top of her head as she continued, "Bella is some kind of shield. She is able to keep people out of her mind. When Aro touched her he couldn't read her mind. And she is able to keep me from using my power on her, or anyone else that she was protecting for that matter. It actually pissed me off that I couldn't touch her." Jane mumbled.

"Janie look at me," I said tilting her chin so she could look me in the eyes, "we have talked about this, you are not that same person. I don't want to hear about you using that power of yours for anything other than self defense ever again, got it?"

Jane and I had a long talk one day while Felix was hunting and Doc was with Kara about her power. She was remorseful about the amount of pain that she had caused people and she cried in my arms about how much she wanted to change and be different. She wanted me to be proud of her. I had told her I would always be proud of her as long as she strived to do good. She was so broken and I was going to show her every day for the rest of eternity that she was loved.

"Yes, Ma," she mumbled tucking her head between mine and Felix's bodies. I could feel Felix chuckling behind me and I rolled my eyes and shook my head at his silliness. He was still amazed how I had "tamed" Jane and got her to listen to me.

"And don't say piss!" I said exasperated. I cussed like a sailor not too long ago but being around Janie so much had curbed my language and I'll be damned if my little girl cussed, that was just rude. With this statement Felix booming laughter could be heard across the dungeon. I rolled my eyes at my crazy man and went back to looking at the picture.

Doc moved his hand again and pointed at the gorgeous couple standing next to Bella and Edward. "I believe this is Emmett and Rosalie," Doc said with a little uncertainty. Jane pulled her head out of her hiding spot and looked back at the picture.

"You are correct Doc," Felix said. "Emmett is the muscles of the coven."

"Family," I didn't like them being called a coven. It was impersonal like the Volturi. No this picture clearly showed a family.

Felix chuckled and kissed my head, "Family does seem to fit them better."

I nodded my head and traced their faces. Rosalie was certainly very gorgeous she was standing with one hand on her hip and a half smile on her face. I could tell by looking into her eyes that she wasn't totally happy but she was content. Emmett on the other hand had a mischievous look on his face, like he was waiting for the firecrackers to go off any second and scare everyone. He was every bit as big as Jacob and had his hand resting on Rosalie's hip under her hand.

"Do they have gifts?" I asked still staring into the hidden sadness in Rosalie's eyes.

"No not that I know of," Doc said, "But Aro said that Rosalie was a very loyal person. He told me she actually stood up for Bella when she wanted to keep the baby and everyone else wanted to her to get rid of it."

Ah there it is. I remembered now Alec saying something about how some of the Cullen women hated the fact that they couldn't have children. I had a sneaky feeling that Rosalie wanted to be a mother. I felt the tears falling down my face before I realized I was even crying. Damn tear ducts.

"She is brave," I said through the tears, "I admire that."

Doc nodded his head and moved to the other side of Jacob and pointed to another couple. "This is Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Carlisle is the head of the family."

I giggled, "You make him sound like the head of a mafia family!"

Felix snorted and Janie giggled, but Doc just shook his head and went on, "They don't have any gifts per say but Aro told me that Carlisle is a human Doctor, a surgeon to be exact. And Esme is one of the most selfless vampires he had ever met."

"You have got to be kidding me! He operates on humans! How does he keep from sucking them dry?" I was amazed that he could be so controlled. If this was true I would be even more hard headed when it came to never feeding from a human.

"It is astonishing really. He has never tasted human blood except for when he changed his family members. He has worked up some kind of tolerance for human blood." Felix sounded just as awe struck as I did.

I wanted to get out of this place after the boys were born and find this family. I would love to have to ability to learn from them. I had always had a secret desire to be a doctor and I wanted to get to know this family who had made the best of our situation.

Doc pointed to the last couple and the woman reminded me of a pixie or a fairy. She had a glow in her eyes that spoke of someone who was incandescently happy. I snickered to myself at my Jane Austen reference. The man however had the same contented look in his eyes as Rosalie, though I could see that he had been scared or hurt. He wore a really good mask.

I was tracing his face when Doc said, "This is Jasper and Alice. From what I understand Aro wants to add both of them but especially Alice to his guard. But she has refused him at every offer."

"Why? I mean I can tell she would never want to leave her family but why does Aro want her? Is she powerful?"

"Well my dear Alice has a special kind of gift. You see she can see the future." My eyes widened in disbelief, "And Aro would like to have her more than anything. The ability to see the future can turn things around in your favor if a battle was to ensue." Then it clicked.

"She is the seer that Alec was talking about!" Janie nodded her head and Felix reached up to run his hand over her head and through her hair. I kissed her head and I was struck at how weird our little family was. I was in love with a vampire from the 1800's and I was the adopted mother to a vampire daughter who was born before Columbus! I giggled at how opposite we were of a normal family, but I loved it.

Jane looked up at me with questioning eyes. I kissed her again on the nose and said, "I was just thinking about how we are defiantly not your normal family. The three of us are not even a textbook definition of a blended family." Janie grinned at me and Felix chuckled and wrapped his arms around both of us and kissed us both on the head. He didn't think I noticed but he did that weird sniffy thing to us.

"Quit sniffing us you weirdo!" I laughed. He just shook his head and took a long deep breath in.

"I like the way my girls smell! Like honey and lemon and wildflowers."

Jane looked at me and rolled her eyes but I could see an emotion behind her eyes that I hadn't ever seen before, belonging. "Weirdo," she mumbled under her breath.

"Back to the Cullen's," Doc said with a wide grin at our antics. "Jasper is also very gifted. He can sense people's emotions and change the emotional climate of a room." My heart went out to Jasper, I knew how he felt. Carrying the burden of the emotion of others wasn't easy and I was only a human who was sympathetic to others, Jasper could actually feel what others were feeling. I shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah I have felt it before, it is really weird!" Janie exclaimed. "One minute you are pissed off and the next minute you are happy and don't know why! It is weird!" She shivered with the last statement like she was reliving it.

I growled and tapped her on the nose, "Don't say piss!" I could feel Felix suppressing his laughter and Doc seemed to have sudden onset COPD and was coughing like he was going to die.

Jane looked sheepish but still managed a teenage outburst, "MA come-on! You curse all the time and piss is like the mildest of the words!" I glared at her and she mumbled, "Yeah sorry."

Doc got up and went into the newly created bathroom. I couldn't keep taking baths in the middle of the floor and pissing in a bucket because now Doc was living with us. So Felix had knocked a hole in the back wall and it opened up to a little room that was large enough for a tub and an outhouse style toilet. It was basically a hole in the ground that Felix had dug out to lead to the castles main drain system. You had to dump a bucket of water in it after you went but it was better than the squat pot.

Jane and Felix got up from the settee and Felix kissed me on the head as he set me back down and went back to standing in the middle of the room and speaking in hushed tones to Janie again. I chose to ignore them and I went back to staring at the picture of the Cullen's.

This family had been so blessed. I could tell by looking at them that they loved each other very much and that they were truly happy and trying to make the best out of their situations. I was even more egar to meet them now. Before I was just intrigued by them, now I wanted to know everything. I also had this underlying desire to make them happy. And I could feel in my heart that their lives, along with mine were about to change. I could only hope that it was for the better.

I was lost in my own dream world of living near the Cullen's and being their extended family when I heard a bang and the crumbling of a stone wall.

"What the HELL are you two doing?" I shouted when I looked up to see Jane and Felix had moved my dresser across from my bed and were tearing a hole in the wall the size of a door.

"Ma, don't say Hell!" Jane snickered and went back to punching the wall. I took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow at Felix to get him to tell me what was going on.

"Well you see love; there is another chamber that is actually bigger than this one on the other side of this wall. And it is currently not occupied. So Janie and I thought we could give us a little more room seeing as though Doc here is living with us and we will be wanting some privacy soon." He winked at me and damn it, I blushed! I never blush and this smug bastard made my cheeks flare with just a wink! Damn him and his sexy ways.

I agreed with his logic and I got up from the settee just as Janie had finished the entrance. I walked through what used to be my twelve inch thick wall that they had broken apart like a fucking gram cracker and stepped into the other room.

This room was dusty and the furniture was covered in sheets but I could tell it was going to be an excellent sitting room. There were a number of couches and chairs and what looked to be large and small side tables. Off to one corner was a larger table with place for four people to sit. I smiled and looked up at Felix. He didn't know it yet but I was going to work my butt off cleaning this room so that the next couple of days before D-Day would go by quicker. What a lovely distraction!

It took me a couple of days but I got the rooms military cleaned and relaxing in the sitting room had become my new favorite thing. The couches in there were so soft and I had fallen asleep on them more than once.

The closer we got to D-Day the more our plans were finalized. We agreed that I needed to be pregnant long before Aro believed us to be sexually active. This way the babies would be born and I would be changed before Aro even realized what was going on. It was all about the art of deception. And Doc had assured us that Aro was clueless about the fertilization of hybrid vampires. And we were keeping him in the dark about everything. Felix and Janie avoided him at all costs; in fact I don't think either of them has seen him in days. If he knew of Felix's plans to change me after the delivery he would probably just kill me and get a not so willing subject. The four of us would do anything to keep Aro from taking my boys.

I was excited that I would finally be able to make love to Felix and seal my fate as a vampire. Not that I was particularly looking forward to being ripped apart by my own children and then injected with the everlasting Gobstopper of the fantasy world, vampire venom. And just to put the icing on the cake, I get to burn in a preverbal fire of living death and experience the worst pain on earth, only to rise from the ashes as a vampire myself. Shit I sound like Dumbledore. This living in a real life fantasy was starting to get to me. Not to mention I haven't saw the sun in a couple of weeks.

I was anxious and at times scared shitless that my family wouldn't be able to change me in time. Yes they were my family in every sense of the word. Janie was the teenager smart mouthed daughter that I never knew I really wanted. She started calling me Ma after the incident with her brother Alec as a joke and it stuck. I don't think I have heard her say my name in a while and I love it! Doc reminded me so much of my father some days that it took all of my strength not to curl up next to him. And don't get me started on Felix. He was becoming more than my 'mate' as he once called it. I loved him so much it hurt. He was never far away and every night he held me while I slept. He was becoming more and more like a father to Janie and even though they have known each other for over a hundred years they are connecting and I can see how much he loves her and how much she is beginning to love him. My little family was forming and I knew all we were missing was our boys. Felix was still on the fence when it came to believing me about their gender or even the fact that I was one hundred percent sure I was having twins. But I could tell he liked the idea.

Even with all of the frantic planning and research, the days crept by slowly due to constant reminders of what I would have to endure to bring my children into the world. Our research was at a stopping point and short of calling the Cullen's we had no more information. We were just going to have to make do with what we had.

I could tell that Felix and Jane were planning more trips out into town to gather more supplies. They had robbed the blood bank once more and now we had two full fridges full of donated blood. I wouldn't be drinking it all but we had to be prepared for the boys when they were born. We didn't know if they were gonna be blood drinkers or if we were gonna need formula.

I added formula to my list of things I wanted Janie and Felix to pick up while they were out on their trips. I wanted to be ready for anything. And their trips served dual purposes, they hunted and acquired, the things we would need.

I noticed the yellowing ring around his and Jane's eyes and I suspected they were experimenting with animal blood. I was grateful for their sacrifice and hoped that they would be able to make the change. I was determined not to fail at my choice of sustenance in my vampire life. I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I made a mistake and killed a human. I wanted to set a good example for my babies and that is what I would have to think about when the cravings got too bad, that and the fact if the Cullen's could do it, I could.

Felix told me he was finding it easier to abstain from human blood because when he looked at a human he saw me. He told me he couldn't take that away from someone. I agreed and praised him for his actions. Jane on the other hand was older, at least in vampire years, and I was worried that she was going to have a hard time. But my worry was irrational because she was a natural at hunting animals. She reveled in the challenge and she was happier and even more childlike as she told stories about the difference in the hunt, just as she was doing now.

I sat back against the couch and watched her as she acted out a scene involving her and a brown bear from this morning. Felix had just walked through the door from our bedroom and was leaning up against the door frame watching her with a newfound fondness in his eyes.

"It was huge! And it fought back! I mean when we were feeding the other way they would just give up and not fight, but this bear was swinging at me and he ripped my dress!" She exclaimed showing us the bear claw marks in her green dress. "It was exhilarating!" Jane exclaimed as she was bouncing on the pads of her feet.

I rolled my eyes and giggled at her excitement. She huffed and plopped herself down on the one of the arm chairs. Doc chuckled at her from his place at the table studying our research.

"Anything is big compared to you short round," Felix said ruffling her hair as he crossed the room to snuggle up beside me on the couch. I giggled at him and smacked him on the chest as he sat down pulling me over into his lap.

"Honestly! It was huge!" she huffed before picking up a book and throwing it at Felix who caught it without flinching.

"Janie," I said in my Mom voice. She was able to look a little sheepish as she hung her head and mumbled, "Sorry Pop." Her sarcasm wasn't lost on me and I rolled my eyes. Oh well you win some you lose some.

I could feel Felix chuckling and I looked into his eyes, "I still can't believe that she listens to you."

I chuckled and moved some of his hair that was falling in his eyes. "Don't look at me like that! All I do is love her. Whether she listens to me or not is on her."

He laughed at me and kissed my nose. Looking into his eyes I could see and hunger in there that had been buried for the last couple days. I shivered because of its intensity and suddenly I didn't want to wait for tomorrow. I wanted him tonight.

He must have seen the change in my own eyes because he nodded at me and said in a husky voice, "Hey Doc?"

Doc looked up from his papers, "Yes Felix?"

"I think Jo and I are gonna get a head start on D-Day," Felix said never taking his eyes off of mine. I smiled and heard Doc falter.

"Oh, but I thought….oh…OH! Jane lets go down to my old quarters for a while; maybe a couple of days." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Oookaaaayyy…" Jane had a teasing lilt to her voice, "Do a good job Ma I want cute little brothers!" My face was burning but I couldn't take my eyes off of Felix.

I heard the door shut and I felt the myself being lifted off of the couch. I grinned at my Felix as he carried me bridal style into my bedroom. He smiled back and I could feel my insides doing flips.

Felix stopped before we got to the bed and I raised my eyebrow at him. His eyes softened, "Johannah, I want you to know that I am not doing this because Aro told me to. Or because of some sick need to create children of my own. I am doing this because I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in this life or the last. I am going to marry you. I wish I could grow old with you but I can't. But what I can give you is forever. I am going to love you forever Johannah Faith. Just make sure you are ready for this ride cause after tonight there is no turning back."

His eyes were smoldering and I wanted to say something as important or endearing as he did but my damn emotions got the best of me and I started to tear up. I kissed him lightly on the lips and whispered, "Ready…I am more than ready."

"Thank God!" he boomed and he tossed me on the bed. I giggled and looked up at him. Tonight everything was going to change, and I wasn't afraid or nervous. All I could think of was, it's about damn time!

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